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Parth Chandra (none)     10 May 2010

Livein partner in Ahmedabad

Hi,

I know that this may be incorrect forum but my question have some legal aspects as well.

1) My wife went from the home after around 4 years of marraige and she along with in-laws have filed 498a,323,Dowry prohibition etc against me and my family, Crpc 125 against me.

2) this happened as I came to know about her previous relations as she was talking on phone to her ex-bfs and when I told her that I would let your parents know about this...she went from home to her parents and created a story that I am a drunker and used to abuse her for dowry and used to beat her.

3) I am 29 years of age and have had two heart surgeries (because of hole in my heart). However fit as never before and compitent in all manner.

4) My wife & in-laws are now demanding 10 lacs to be deposited for any settlement (re-concilation) which me and my family are against of and we have decided to not to do and fight these cases.

5) Moreover she also don't want to give divorce to me and asking for 75 lacs if I want divorce.

6) I am alone and depressed since 5 months now and these all is affecting my job (earning well in a private company in Ahmedabad).

7) Because of all these (as my wife is not ready to come nor to give divorce and have filed false cases not just against me but also against my family and now asking for money for any kind of settlement...it seems that they have decided an amount for each cases)....I AM LOOKING FOR A LIVE-IN PARTNER IN AHMEDABAD......CAN ANYONE PLEASE HELP ME WITH THE WEB-SITE OR OTHER DETAILS TO FIND A DECENT (FROM HEART) FEMALE PARTNER ?

8) WHAT KIND OF CONTRACT I SHOULD BE ENTERING INTO FOR A LIVE-IN....AS I DON'T WANT TO BE IN ANY MORE COMPLICATION NOW.

I KNOW THAT SOME OF THE MEMBERS MAY HAVE DIFFERENT OPINION ON THIS BUT I DON'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY OUT TO FIGHT SUCH KIND OF PEOPLE WHO DON'T CARE ABOUT RELATION (BY HAVING CONTACTS WITH THE EX-BOYFRIENDS AFTER MARRAIGE) , FILE FALSE CASES AGAINST FAMILY TO COVER UP THEIR OWN MISDEEDS AND THEN ASKING FOR SETTLEMENTS TO COME OR FOR DIVORCE.

PLEASE HELP ME WITH YOUR INPUTS.



Learning

 13 Replies


(Guest)

1. Your guess is right. This forum is not for encouraging such questions as this forum gives practical suggestions on legal matters and though in openning sentences you gave your briefs of marrital discord situations but after coming to know of this forum instead of asking for contacts of ld. advocates and/or probable resolution to fight/contest a damaged matrimonial situation in hand you are asking help on contact details of live in females or such websites (female friendship clubs probably) who advertise live-in partners of both genders.

Though Hon'ble SC has commented that as of now there is no law for legalising live-ins but that does not mean every second married person instead of keeping a weded wife in control opts for live ins due to xyz reasons. Think of repercussions later on in society in general.

I per se is not against live-ins but if one has a legal problem then it should be handled legally before it erupts and one is left with nothing. Control your present marriad life legally first then after a "decree" in hand you are free for any legal "relationships" as your heart says.

2. Having hole in heart does not mean you will leave your legally weded wife and opt for live-in. Check in this forum list of ld. advocates pertaining to your region and contact them for legal course of action based on given briefs instead of being hit by bigamy / multiple maintenance and associated suits your wife may file in due course.

Hope you will understand implications/repercussions of opting in for live-in relationship when a person has legally weded wife still in place. It is like adding one more complication in one's married life, though live-ins sounds a beautiful ""Agreement of Arrangments"" and nothing else is my view.
Rgds.

Parth Chandra (none)     10 May 2010

Respected D Arun Kumar,

Though I agree with you in-terms of morality.....but what a man would do if...

1) Someone has married to him with money in mind.

2) Once the wife's extra marital affairs came to light....she would file false cases against husband without thinking his health, reputation, job and above all mental piece.

3) Then they ask for money for reconcilation or divorce or says we would take maintenance from you, would not give divorce and keep on running cases against you.

NOW WHAT do you expect a husband to do

1) Bow down to there demands?

2) File a divorce case which would again depend on the grounds of cruelty (498a) and desertion and would go for years (as 498 it self would go for 5-7 years)? Moreover knowing that she would also ask for money to fight any RCR or divorce case.

3) Don't bow down to the demand, nor file RCR or divorce and live alone for years till the issu get resolved. In the mean time due to in-bearable mental cruelty.....loss health, money, time and job?

4) Wait for them to come to a settlment for a couple of years and then with the god's grace if they agree without any demand then take such a wife back who had already made your life hell (my father is 60 now and I have seen him standing in 498 court pledging for the bail...how can someone forget this?) and by allowing her to come back accept her adultery (which I am ready to accept right now), allowing her to file such cases in future and milking me by asking money & collecting evidences (payslips / bank statements etc) till she again file false cases?

5) don't do any of above and wait for her to file for divoce (which I am sure she would never do)

HAVING SAID that ...ISN'T IT A BETTER OPTION TO FIND SOME ONE WHO IS INTERESTED IN COMPANIONSHIP AND NOT MONEY AND FIGHT AGAINST SUCH EVILS AND MAKE THEIR LIFE HELL!!!

IF YOU DON'T AGREE THEN I WOULD APPRECIATE YOUR ADVICE ON WHAT SUCH A HUSBAND SHOULD DO...THIS WOULD NOT ONLY HELP ME BUT ALSO MANY SUCH HUSBANDS WHICH ARE JUST MONEY MAKING MACHINES FOR WIFE.


(Guest)

Sir,
1. It is not morality as if you read carefully my same mail. I said "i'm not against live-ins".
2. See take my entire mail in this wayt (short and sweet). If one sees a problem in marrital life "approach / hit it head on" instead of leaving / opting for short cuts for the time being. Because the marrital problem will always remain as other side has created it first of all and they want / expect you to fight a frivilous contest to meet her dubious ends.
3. Your answer is more on "emotions" point of view. Tell me how many Indian husbands donot face similar situations in their marrital life time. I am also facing similar problems from last 8 years out of 10 years of our marriage. Though I have dozen's of live in options and more loosely due to my interactions and having lived aborad I get those options daily basis in front of me, but I choose to fight / head - on my better half and once my current marital problems are resolved I wish to start a new life leaving behind a chapter closed which I choose to close as per my terms (means legally).
4. You have lots of legal options which I say based on your provided briefs. Though they are "time consuming" I will admit but end result is that you have medicated a "family cancer" current in society and tell me what guarantee you per se in your proposed live in as it is also covered under Maintenance laws (r u surprised by this revelation) So it is like jumping mid way out of one walk (saucepan) to another is not the right approach is my persistent view. Why ? Because matrimonial laws are gender biased. here we have "rights" only for wife's and also for live ins and there are "no marital duties" from wife's side to expect. So today you opt say for a live in becuase it is desire based on emotional grounds, but tomorrow another married husband opts for live in (say for a change as nothing much happened in his personal life but he wants to taste another fruit will be his reason) so what is left in a society at the end of say a decade...more n more problems and a sane society, right !
5. Husbands facing marrital discord should face the music too means fight "emotions with emotions" and "legal recourse with legal battle" and not mixing these two ups is my suggestions at the end of the day.
6. BTW never expect that she will not file anything for too sure ! You wait few months and see how true my views are.
Anyhow it is yoru call as no matter 100's of pages will go to/fro between us on "morality vis a vis ideal matrimony" bze today's modern society "expectations" are much more clubbed with age old "traditions and customs" which clouds once judgment on important issues.
However, do what ever you choose to do bze it is your life but keep in mind "closing one chapter" and then "starting another" is the best approach in Indian matrimonial way of life.
Your second mail reply has smell of legal consultation / undergone legal knowledge so you are not naive as made to understand in your very first mail.
With above notes I close this contentious debate and let others also through in their views.
Rgds

1 Like

Ashok Yadav (Lawyer)     10 May 2010

I am agree with Mr. D. Arun Kumar, and i would like to say that L.C.  is not to help you to search a female for live in relationship. You should ask only your legal questions here but you are asking for getting a female for livein relationship. The experts should discourage these types of persons who are asking these foolish questions on this forum.

1 Like

Parth Chandra (none)     10 May 2010

Mr. Ashok Yadav,

As I mentioned in my post that my post has some legal question as well....and thats why I have placed the post.....now coming to your comment on my so called foolish question....There are many genuine questions put by me and I could not see your face except this one (as it may be very easy to comment on some-one's question without giving legal advice - I don't blame you as you might not have enough knowledge to answer genuine questions).

So please spend you energy and time in answering genuine legal question of others (if you could) or read answers given by others and improve your knowledge but don't just answer a post where you could not give any suggestion and simply answer because your contribution can increase without actually benifiting the community.

Thanks in anticipation


(Guest)

PC !

You should apologise to Sh. Ashok Yadav because this forum is for legal help - public and professionals interactive platform where ld. professionals from legal fraternity take out their time from their busy practice and give answers to legal issues from general public that also for free. The same question which you asked given to understand the going rate at AMD would have cost you not less than 2 K.

If you start behaving like this in public platforms then I doubt in real life you will ever get help from the same professional community.

Take a deep breadth and read your first mail and second mail; you already have gained enough legal knowledge before approaching this forum and what for you approached this forum - it is for fixing your libido and when I tried to make sense your ego got hurt and you vomitted venom to the very first person you found easy target which is not appreciated in public interactive platforms. Internet forums are free that does not mean we start disrespecting such ineractive forums by ours whims and fancies.

Be a gentlemen and apologise to Sh. Yadav and now take charge of your life. This much a interactive public platform members expects from general publics like you.

At the end always respect a "professional" be it from any walk of life, beze 'he' has something extra that you as a layman will strive to achive in your lifetime.
Rgds.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     11 May 2010

submit a divorce suit immediately and do not marry still divorce obtained. suggestions of the above learned friends, very particularly mr d. arun kumar, is practical.

1 Like

Ashok Yadav (Lawyer)     12 May 2010

Thanks Mr. Arun Kumar for your support, Mr. PC we are not here to get a certificate of knowkedge from you or any other person like you who asks these types of foolish questions here on LC. We are here to solve geniune problems of laymens and gain knowledge from seniors.

All this shows your mentality and standard of your thoughts towards this community and society.

In my view the experts should not reply these types of questions and to these types of persons who don't have any respect to this community.

Parth Chandra (none)     12 May 2010

Mr. Ashok Yadav,

I also don't need certificate from you regarding my respect to the community members.

My question was having legal part and thats why I raised it.....If you don't wish to reply or don't like it you could have choose not to reply but should not be making remarks where you can not put any legal thoughts (or don't have it)

My question is simple.....If I can find a live in partner then what should be terms and condition of such contract which don't pull me in legal complications by my wife (I know the live-in partner would be able to create if she wish to after certain time .. thats ok).


(Guest)

I hope now it is high time for the Government of India and our State Governments to ponder over the subject thoroughly and introduce a legislation viz., "LIVE-IN RELATIONSHIPS ACT, 2010" and make a debate in the Parliament in true spirit of the recent Supreme Court Khusboo's case. It is always advisable to simply follow a Court's judgment to our daily routine, since it may be reversed by another Bench. If it's a legislation coming into force, the framework will be understood by the preamble of the Act and the public can escape from the arbitrary use of powers by the police and other enforcement agencies. So I would suggest Mr.PC to wait for some more time till then.


(Guest)

Please read correctly as: "It is always not advisable ....." in the 4th line of my above comment.

1 Like

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     12 May 2010

Mr yadav,

you may not in line with a perticular comment, but everyone has to express his own view. we all are friends here.

1 Like

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     12 May 2010

mr g rao,

DV act for this purpose. it already exists.

However thanks for your suggestions.


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