Lavanya (NA) 16 November 2014

What to do with ex-husband and his new gf ?

I need valuable suggestions. I am very confused how to deal with my ex-husband now.

Me and my ex husband are staying in Germany.We both hold Indian passport.We both are hindu and have no child.

I am trying to explain our past in brief --- Me and my ex husband were living together in Bangalore from 2002.Our family didn't accept us for intercaste marriage so we decided to live together without marriage till they accept.But we never had any supports from any family financially or socially or professionally.I thought with the time everything will be ok.

In 2008 we both quit job and thought of starting own business.During that time one of my family friend she was searching job and she approached me.I called her Bangalore to start her career in our company.She was very well awared of me and my ex relationship.I considered her as my family member like younger sister and so we started living together in same house and we three started working towards setting the company.

In 2010 me and my ex husband got abroad opportunity and moved together leaving that girl in my flat. In 2011 we got married in abroad without informing each other family.

In early 2012 i observed very peculiar behavior between that girl and my ex husband. I questioned my ex but he denied n told me i am just doubting.Latteon i observed same attitudes.I understood both of them extra relationship.So i said that girl to stop working and go back and not to contact us further. As soon as i said this i saw the real behaviors of my ex and her together. She started claiming she married him before me.Both of them were live in relations from 2008 etc etc... Because of this fight started between me and ex.

He applied divorce in dec 2012 without informing me in abroad. I tried to withdraw divorce but it was very late when i learnt the divorce as i was in India when court sent notices.He started visiting alone india and living separately with that girl in 2013. From 2013 i have no contact with that girl.

In July 2013 divorce got over. After that i thought to move ahead with life because i didnot see any positive sign of his attitude.I didnot dare to take help of indian law wrt contesting divorce as i was alone n staying in abroad. so i started looking new partner and finalized and decided to marry in Jan 2014 in India.

My ex husband hacked my email or Some how he learnt i am going to marry someone. Then ex sent me adulatory legal notice thru Indian lawyer and claimed me as wife and wanted my 50% ownership of my property whatever i purchased during 2003 to 2012.I didnot respond his legal notice. But i thought he realized his mistakes and wanted me back in his life again so he is doing so.. So again i went back to him and started living in same flat and till now living.. But i didnot see any thing good. He is still not telling anythings about that girl and relationships.. He is only interested on my property.. nothing else..

I dont know what he wants .. How to talk ? we dont talk each other even though we stay in same roof. He is getting angry and threatening me because i was talking with many boys for my own marriage ..

I lost trust on him .. I cannot think of establishing relationship again without meeting that girl. He is telling me to wait 6 month to 1 year ..He may think of marrying me etc etc he is is keep telling me.. He is saying he never married that girl.

What to do now ? Should i send him a legal notice asking address of that girl? should i do missing complaints of that girl in Bangalore ?

What is legal remedy ? No doubt both of them harassing and cheating me.. I dont know what both have planned now ?

Our marriage never got regd in India. What is my marriage status in India then ?

I hold Indian passport and i am on work permit. Can i appeal Indian court to dismiss abroad divorce grant ?

Can i file cheating and DV case on that girl n ex for talking f2f ? I feel relationship can be saved if that girl found and she move away with affidavit if possible. I am unable to decide. If i marry someone else also i need to put lots efforts to maintain marriage relations.Why not to try saving existing one if possible ?

Kindly suggest me ..I would appreciate if any advocate from Bangalore ?

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3 Replies

Anish Thakur 7018812737 (advocate) 16 November 2014

Dear Lavanya,

Marriage is religious scarment in Hindu religion and not a contract as in other religions. Love and relationship are based on affection and truth and stands on trust. In your case you have lost all these factors and even you had tried to start fresh life leaving behind all dark past and sorrows of your life which was bravest step taken by you. Although your so called EX is taking advantage of your love and affection which you still feel for him. The legal notice sent to you was not valid as you said you got divorce in foreign where you have got married. Your husband can not claim any thing over your property as per indian laws. The property self earned by you is exclusively yours and you are free to enjoy that property alone and no one can claim over that. As per my opinion dont try to settle with that guy who had cheated you so much and left with you for a girl and even divorced you. That guy wants to ruin your life and dont want you to settle in life with anyone else so that you will remain his toy. Just ignore him and take every legal action against him. Just file criminal as well as civil litigations against him. As per law , the things happened to you is consipracy and planned crime just stand against this and fight back to punish him. Just report all this matter to National Women Commission, Lodge Police report in your locality area, Send copy of complaint to District Collector seeking protection also, you have also various civil remedies which you can obtain from the court. Feel free to call as some facts need to be clarify for detailed and accurate advise.

UniteFamilies (Social Worker) 16 November 2014

Advocate Anish has given a very good suggestion. I think you can talk to a lawyer abroad as well. There is no way your husband can get divorce without sending notice to you. Of course he may have told judge that you are not responding. Generally outside india it takes 3 months to get divorce if spouse is not in the same country. Talk to local lawyers abroad and see if your husband's divorce case can be reopened.

Lavanya (NA) 16 November 2014

Thank you for your advice. I cannot think of going back to ex untill i personally talk . Even after talking atleast 1-2 years i willnot marry him whatever he do..

I am not much aware of marriage and divorce law here.There is no point for me approach court here as i already divorce over and i am looking my next life partner.

I would prefer steps as suggested in India for my own security in India. True fact is that that 3rd party women is in Bangalore. It is essential to find and talk to her first.. What else they both wants in their life ? Both of them must understand the law and order. Sad that they couldnot understand so far despite good education and experience.

I am sure both of them will be doing new conspiracy just because i own property and they dont own. Also i am moving on in my life.

What i need now i just to find her address and talk to her f2f ? I am sure ex willnot come India if i do anythings against him. But surely i am going to file cases against both of them .

I am planning to visit India in Jan month for these works. Mr Anish i will call you surely .