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munni (house wife)     17 February 2013

My husbend harrasing me, senior please help me..

I am going through a critical situation. We got married before 2 year. After that  I joined with my husband for 6 month at abroad. During that time I got pregnant, and some how it got miscarriage. For that my husband many time tell to his family that I aborted and I am the responsible for that..

After that for his peculiar behavior now I am staying for more than 1 year at my parents house, due to following reason..

Ø  I had some past friends (boy), after marriage some time talk to him for that he made a big issue. Even later he tried to track my conversation, where some time my boy friend joke with me that we might get marry..but all are in joke..All these things my husband tact fully recorded and now he is trying harass me with my father and mother..I did not have any intention with my boy friend..Due to this matter one time he hit me at my head (I don't have any proof) and he scold me many time..

Ø  Apart from that my husband has some picture before marriage (during  our friendship time).

 As these pictures we pickup before marriage, and he was such a nice guy and from all my family member like our friendship.. This my friend ship my husband don't like..

Ø   He is raising many time these issues..for that I am not feeling safe to join with him..

Ø  For that I am now I am searching job at India, and I told to my husband that I don't want to join at abroad (even he do many restriction to me in normal day to ay life) ..

 

aa) My question is that after marriage, whether I am not allowed to keep in touch mentally with my past boy friend. 

bb) Can I maintain my friendship with his he is making unnecessary issues? Now my family and me have just friendship with my old friend.. This is totally in friendship, noting else.. Can is it against conjugal rule?

cc) Apart from that I had a study loan, which although my father told that he will repay.. But now my family in problems, so for that I asked to my husband to that I want to do job so that I can repay to bank..But as he is now allowing to go for job, rather due to his age he want baby first .. But I don't want..I want to know that, whether a Daughter can take care for his parent? As I have no brother, so who will take care of my father and sister? Can a wife will take responsibility for his paernts?

dd) Actually during our quarrel I got angry and I told following thing, which he amicably recorded my voice and keeping for future..My voice was that """" I want to know that wife can take responsibility of her parents? Why shall I join in his family? I told directly to my husband that I studied a lot, is it for applying in kitchen? I want to job and I will stay anywhere, it is not necessary to stay together..""" Does all these recorded pinots will be in favour if he will take any action against me..

 

ee) Now altogether I don't want to join with him..Initially he was paying money for my expenses, now a day's even he is not paying for my pocket expenses..

Every time over phone he is trying to tell me to join with him.. But I don't want..In such case can I ask to court for alimony, although I refuse not to join with him?

Regarding dowry, they asked to make all money instead of giving gifts.. Marriage time we gave 50K and  my father told that he will give 1 lakhs more after some time..But after marriage my husband indirectly told many time, about that matter.. Although I don't have any proof then also can I file during hearing?

 

ff) As without job and with that much pressure with such type of violence I cannot stay with him..

 where   As I am staying separately more than 1 year, still can I file some 498 and DV case against him? For that can it be good idea as he has some other proof , hope he can run for AB from high court? Then he can roam very freely..then case will run, after that what can I do, please suggest me?

How about the law for getting 50% share of husbands property? As now I may not able to get marry again, and he may get marry one time and can enjoy his life. In such case how much money can I claim for my life?

 

gg) His intention to take care for his family only, then who will take care for my family? what is the opinion in the eye of law?

 

hh) I guess that, his intention to harass me by multiple case in my name and my family name..So it may effect to father's govt job? If he will put multiple case then can we apply to transfer all these case to my home town?

ii) If he will file case then from my side, we have to pay all advocate fees, or we can claim from him?

How much alimony can I claim in such case, if something will happen? His salary around in INR is 2 lakhs per month.. But his family fully dependent on him..(his mother and brother's family)



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 26 Replies

Chetan Joshi (Advisory/Advocacy)     17 February 2013

There is no law to stop talking to your guy friend but you gotta adjust in a marriage...

 

You can take care of your family the way you want to....You may file a DV and a 498a but it is going to have a weak base..

 

No maintenance should be allowed to you in the light of your capability to work.

 

I would suggest you to make up your mind to what you want to do. Once you've done it, you may work out a mutual conlusion which may mean a divorce by mutual consent. You may file for maintenance independently too.

 

Regards

Chetan(dot)7679(at)gmail(dot)com


(Guest)

poor lady :(

ashoksrivastava (scientist)     17 February 2013

you have written several times about  your legal rights but what about your duties towards your husband? though you want to take care of your parents and that is commendable but you have to strike a balance between these. you also wrote" rather due to his age he want baby first .. But I don't want" .To me your husband values this marriage though it may not be up to your expectations. pl do not ever think of dv or 498a it will destroy both of you its the really MAD thing to do(MUTUALLYASSURED DESTRUCTION).Instead have a truthful and frank discussion with him . If finally you feel marriage is not workable go for MCD.mediation by a person who both of you trust may help a lot  before thinking of mcd. All  the best.

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     17 February 2013

Reading at your story,

1) You wont get maintenance Reason: You are educated and capable to earn

2) If you used word starting with "b" and ending with "d", SC clearly gave verdict wife using such word, will be cruelty on husband, and you wont get even a penny.

3) If he says he wants you ( no matter whether drama or not) and you stay alone , it is again considered, fault is at your side and  no alimony, given the fact  that it is proved by him

4) Wife can spend her money the way she wants.

Coming to your questions

1) aa :  A  married women  can be friend to anybody   but that nature of frienship should not fall in lines with consumation of s*x mentally or physically. 

2 bb : no issues

3) cc : wife can take care of her parents, no legal issues

4) dd : As I explained if you had used any word like "Bas...td" it is cruelty committed by you on him, hence he can get divorce and no maintenance will be given

5) ee, ff ) both attempt to file 498a and DV not only make you more troublesome, if proven as false case, you will land in with more criminal sections, and AB will be granted as he has valid reason, and you dont have any prima facie for charging 498a. However, filing false 498a to threaten will see you more trouble if he decided to fight, in my opinion he is ready as he recorded all conversations

6)gg) he can request to seek your money earnt through job post marriage for sharing household and in eye of law it is not illegal nor criminal

7) unless it is proven that your father filed false cases, no impact to his job.If multiple cases, you can transfer to your place

8) if he prooves cruelty by you, willful separation by you, and your capability to earn, you will not get maintenance




(Guest)

munni badnaam hui darling tere liye.... Munni why are you cooking stories? Tell me which husband would tolerate his wife talking to her boyfriend that too re-marriage jokes? You seem to be covering up things....if he has recorded then you better be careful as if he able to prove your unscrupulous nature then you will be in trouble....

Better suggest him MCD as such marriages in which wife has been doubted for character cannot be repaired. You seem to have done a big mistakes and now covering up those with 498a and DV.

Better apologize him or clarify you husband about your relation with x-boyfrind (which I dont think he will trust you anymore now).

Trust once lost, is lost forever.

Better go for a amicable MCD else running around courts will spoil your reputation as well as things may come out about your past affair which is still hidden.


(Guest)
munni badnaam hui darling tere liye.... Munni why are you cooking stories? Tell me which husband would tolerate his wife talking to her boyfriend that too re-marriage jokes? You seem to be covering up things....if he has recorded then you better be careful as if he able to prove your unscrupulous nature then you will be in trouble.... Better suggest him MCD as such marriages in which wife has been doubted for character cannot be repaired. You seem to have done a big mistakes and now covering up those with 498a and DV. Better apologize him or clarify you husband about your relation with x-boyfrind (which I dont think he will trust you anymore now). Trust once lost, is lost forever. Better go for a amicable MCD else running around courts will spoil your reputation as well as things may come out about your past affair which is still hidden.

munni (house wife)     17 February 2013

Dear Ashok,

  I appreciate your suggestion.. although I am maintaning my friendship, there is no any wrong intention..

  How he can spoil some body's whole life.. Ok one more thing is that if he will file RCR, then during this case period can I eligible to get maintenance or only if he will file divorce ten I will I will get monthly maintenance upto our case finalization..

Please suggest me in this regard.Because due to his peculier behaviour, I decided to stay whole life at my mother's house rather to ruin my life in such a bu***it guy..

 

munni (house wife)     17 February 2013

Hi Fight for 498,

  I am in such a mental trauma, and you people are making joke on me?

You people can not able to think for a tesion bearing by a wife?

If I will get divorse then cn I eligible to get 50% of their property, according to the new rule?

Ok, this is not fare.. any way if he will spiol my life, then I will offcourse file 498 and DV against him.. Let him come to jail first..then he will realize..


(Guest)

 

Originally posted by : munni

Hi Fight for 498,

  I am in such a mental trauma, and you people are making joke on me?

You people can not able to think for a tesion bearing by a wife?

If I will get divorse then cn I eligible to get 50% of their property, according to the new rule?

Ok, this is not fare.. any way if he will spiol my life, then I will offcourse file 498 and DV against him.. Let him come to jail first..then he will realize..

 50% of husband property do you want for your unfaithful behaviour ?

Get lost !

cm jain sir (ccc)     17 February 2013

Go ahead lady ...

you will get 50% of all.....

take calculator n calculate it......

After 4-5 years of this cases just tell us how much you have calculated and how much you got...

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     17 February 2013

Munnie,

You are overlooking some sensible suggestions, if only you want to make your life hell, who are we to stop. Please go ahead, file 498a, DV, 406 etc etc, and you see what emerges. 

There is no new rule that gives you 50% share. Moreover all maintenance laws exist only when husband found to be at fault side.

For a nuetral point of view, suppose if your husband speaks to somebody as friend and that lady says we should marry for the sake of joke, will you laugh it since it is joke? Just to get your views on funnier side.


munni (house wife)     17 February 2013

Hi all seniors,

 Wife go to husbands house, and if husband is cruel to wife, then where she will go?

This is our society? Off course I need to take action using the law..

In this mentality of people, today lady at India is geting turtured, raped and humiliated..

It must need to chage their minds.. We are also equal.. upto when this domination to wife willbe there in India?

Waiting for that rule fo getting 50% property share, once it will in law, then I will come back to all these LCI members..

 

Harassaed women..god is there...

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     17 February 2013

Munni,

Please show us the link or referrence where that new law is drafted. It was proposed as a measure in marria

ge amendment bill 2010 but in current version it is deleted. Wait your whole life, it will never happen. 

You disobey husband need of child and thats not cruel but all that husband does it to you is cruel, selective selfishness is what you suffer from, and Hopefully by the time you file cases, i should complete my law and your husband should meet me. you are one such women affected by radical views, reality will show you.


munni (house wife)     17 February 2013

Hi senoirs,

 Please suggest me on my query.. rether to get comments from some comments from frustrated husbands..

I think few such people they don't have any job , and seating here to comment on those who are really in problem.. They get more enjoyment by clapping for matter for those who are in real problem..

Hope I can get a good suggestion from authentic lawerer..


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