Why men wants to make changes only in their favorable ways?


can someone explain what "adjustment" in a marriage means???

Marriage brings perfection in life.Marriage is not an adjustment.

 

 

 Marriage as "socially legitimate s*xual union, begun with a public announcement and undertaken with some ideas of permanence; it is assumed with more a less explicit marriage contract, which spells out the reciprocal rights and obligations between the spouses and future children” 


All the marriages are aimed at happiness in one or another way. Most couples marry filled up with expectations. Some of the expectations will be realistic while others unrealistic. This is due to the complex nature of marriage and each individual is as complex as a universe. Therefore, in marriage two universes close together.


Marriage brings perfection in life.Marriage is not an adjustment. It is a belief in each other.The wife and the husband. Once they get married they both should treat the other as half of his life.

A strong partnership provides companionship, interpersonal closeness, emotional fulfillment, and support that acts as a buffer against physical and emotional affliction. Marriage should enrich the love between two people, and it evolves through the foundations of friendship, a meaningful s*xual rela¬tionship, mutual respect, trust, and compassion.


Graduate non-working married women feel more depression in their daily life and in home task than the women who get education above than graduation. Because if a married woman is highly educated, she can well judge her household problems and solve them with ease. In this way she feels free from depression and lives a happy marital life. On the other hand less educated married women cannot solve their problems because of less information about that problematic issue. So that she feels herself in depression and this affects her marital life. Along with this, the results further suggest that highly educated married non-working women are better adjusted in their married lives. It indicates that those non-working women who are highly educated can spend their married life easily and solve their problems without depression as compared to only graduate women. According to researchers high education encourages women to solve their problems marital maladjustment and it also helps them in bringing up their children properly .


Components of a Strong and Satisfying Marriage

Strong marriages are the result of efforts by both spouses to make the marriage work

 / Consider mate as best friend 

 / Like mate as a person

 / See marriage as a long-term commitment 

/ See marriage as a sacred institution 

/ Agree on goals 

/ Laugh together frequently


The Warning Signs;


l. Criticism—Often this can start out as complain¬ing. There are always things that can annoy us about our partners. However, when it moves into criticism there can be real problems in the mar¬riage. "Criticism involves attacking someone's personality or character—rather than a specific behavior—usually with blame." Criticism tends to be generalizations rather than about a specific issue.


2. Contempt—O vertl me, if partners are not careful, criticism can often move into contempt. This is when there is intention to insult and psychologi¬cally abuse your partner. Bringing these on are often extremely negative thoughts or feelings about your partner such as he or she is so stupid, disgusting, incompetent, etc. 


3. Defensiveness—Often defensiveness comes in reaction to contempt. It can become automatic to defend yourself when you feel you are being attacked. Defensiveness can be actions such as denying responsibility, making excuses, turn¬ing a complaint or criticism around on the other partner, cross-complaining or returning a Complaint from your partner with a complaint of your own. All of these are in contradiction to listening to the partner's complaint, and trying to internalize it and change that behavior. In an attempt of self-protection, the problem is never really resolved.

 
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kkk

@ Utpala why should we change our attitude if the opposition wants to be the same...
 

 
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kkk

Looks like utpala is here to judge everyone

 
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@Mayur, both side wud never change their attitude..i meant that.

so don't judge me in the light of wrong interpretation.

 
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ADVOCATE

After going through all these conversations & arguments  My opinion (feel) " Be single ,Be independent ,be Happy'


Total likes : 2 times

 
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advocate

I don't agree with @hegde,that is not the solution,being single will not make us independant and happy,b'coz human beings are surrounded with other relations.Not getting married and without a partner is not the answer.as we all know wedlock is not ultimate.

i think we all are getting deviating frm question raised here.The question posted itself is wrong.Author made unnessasary aligation on other gender,where as we all know it is not men always who make changes or decisions in the soceity according to they benifits or favour.Women is good and sharp in visual and verbal skills,i've seen very close relations of mine ,how much can a woman take over the entire charge of her household and man remain a puppet in the house,its not that 'he' is incapable it is because 'she' express herself clear in verbal,But men are innovators,experimental,stronger,better in motor skills and manipulating objects,but they fail in verbal 'war' with woman.That does not make man weak .

Thus,before me going off hand the subject 'i like to put up my last words,it is the human being that can be dominating or dictating in the society ,its never 'MAN OR WOMEN'.as a single.

i don't think this is such a big question to hold a debate.good luck to all..:)

 
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ADVOCATE

@ Miss Anita you are right... The question posted itself is wrong. 


Total likes : 1 times

 
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Many have discuss the thread but What make me laugh her is this ;

 

Mayur said ,@ Utpala why should we change our attitude if the opposition wants to be the same...  Looks like utpala is here to judge everyone

After that Utpala said;@Mayur, both side wud never change their attitude..i meant that.

so don't judge me in the light of wrong interpretation.


And after that VENKATESH HEGDE (ADVOCATE ) said;After going through all these conversations & arguments  My opinion (feel) " Be single ,Be independent ,be Happy'



 Funny.

 
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These days we have Judges in the forum...we have pepole qouting pervious posts (Like judges quote  pevious judgements) of others  and coming to a conclusion...

 
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Dear All,

Its really make me feel What Exactly the debate is About ?? Being Married Unfortuately  for 6 Months,

I feel I was 100000 times better than what I have become, Very first reason for here to Educate my self from Draconian Gender Biases Law of Indian Judiciary System.

 My wife and in-laws Marry to Earn Money and Dominate, Control me & my Family, as Since begning my wife said "Tu Kanoon nahi jaanta" the Moment she used this words, I realise, there is something fishy. (She even dont care to Talk to me And Addresses me with "Tu" as earlier used word was "Tum" )  I Came to know the world of 498a / DV / Adultry Law which is COMPLETELY assume that women are Ablaa and they only can be harrassed.

I started Collecting Evidence Agaist my wife, she ran-away on her own, as she was constatnly asking for money, and I refused to bow to her Unusual demands. I showed my Recording to police and he told me, this Greedy lady and Many case in Court are false and In India

I learnt it is Business to get married and later Bride side extracts money, My marriage lasted for 42 days. Now I'm heading towards DIVORCE.

We men are treated as Third Class Citizen in this Country, No law to Protect us, Even Girl do anything we are paying price for that.

You cant stop her for meeting her BF / Man ( Applying DV)

Even Child born out of them You have to Maintain (CrpC 125) wheather child Legimate or not.

Even you try to punish her in Adultry Law (Sorry ! it is only meant for man as per latest SC rulling)

So it Is better now as per Indian law not to marry and Avoid any female Contact Because more draconian Gender Biased Law in pipeline.........

1) Sexual Harrsement bill 2011

2) 50% share in Husband Property the moment she becomes your wife.

Supported by Media /  TV Channel..
Programme : Saubhagavati Bhav ?? @ Life OK channel
as per this programme only Husbands are harrassing their wife.

ALL RIGHTS ARE FOR WOMEN, AND ALL DUTIES & RESPONSIBILITES ARE FOR MEN

and the List Goes On....................

May God Save men of this country, God knows what will happen in the future.

 
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