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Do you experts think this will go against me legally?

Page no : 2

Born Fighter (xxx)     16 November 2015

You appear to me as a mature and caring father. Waiting for another 1.5yr would give you no benefits. If i was you, i would 

  1. Wait for 3 months and gather enough/strong evidences
  2. If you can then offer the wife a one time alimony and take the custody of the child. Im suggesting taking custody as it appears your wife is neglecting / not handling the child properly.
  3. If point 2 doesnt work then with help of strong evidences file for Divorce on cruelty grounds. Your evidences should be strong enough to prove your wife is NEGLECTING the child....... stronger the evidences easier will be the settlement/MCD.

Also be prepared for false cases from wife's side............if you plan carefully you can counter her false cases with help of evidences.

One fact is that no matter how much you LOVE/care for the child , once the custody goes to the mother, the child will be influenced by her and you will be emotionally drained and frustrated as child will not be able to give you back the same love in return.

 

Better focus on taking care of your responsibilities as a father , life will be relatively easy. Getting custody of child is very difficult my dear so think wise and dont waste precious years of your life ......... 

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     16 November 2015

If your son was admitted six times to hospital, if you have any knowledge of his ailments and if you have a better solution,  you can immediately apply to the court for immediate custody of your son. You can contact the doctor of the hospital where he was treated get a medical certificate about his health and submit to the court along a doctor's certificate on the line of treatment. In case the hospital doctor does not co-operate, you can apply to the court for order to produce the son before an eminent doctor named by you to examine your son and give report. Based on such report you can ask for immediate custody. You can give an option to your wife to come and stay with you. Alternatively the child can be in the care of your parents.

The court will certainly respond favourably

Ritwik (IT)     16 November 2015

@Born Fighter, thanks for your suggestions. 

@Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech], thanks for your suggestions. To let you know a bit more about the things had happened, my son born premature. Immediately after he was born, he had to be admitted to NICU. After he released (10 days), I took him and my wife to my house believing best care can be extened to him this way. My wife and her parents had created enough nuisence, absued me and my pranets so much  so that I ultimately decided to let them go. They took him to their home. She stayed there for almost a year and during this time only he suffered a lot and had to be admitted six times. I provided all medical and financial and other sort of assistance required. Till now my son is under weight and suffers frequently due to ailments.

 

Ritwik (IT)     20 November 2015

I had a talk with a local lawyer. He told me I don't have a ground for filing divorce. Which seems absolutely unconvincing to me. I have following facts (I keep to ten for the sake of brevity) with evidences- 

1. On wedding night she refused to have physical relationship with me. And continued to do so for almost two months. I discussed with a couple of close friends of mine. They may support me in court.

2. On wedding night she refused to talk to my frinds and relatives, causing huge social insultation for me and my parents. My friends and some other persons invited may be produced as witness. 

3. Immediately after my son was born, he had to be admitted to NICU. After he released (10 days), I took him and my wife to my house believing best care can be extened to him this way. My wife and her parents had created enough nuisence, absued me and my pranets so much  so that I ultimately decided to let them go. They took him to their home. She stayed there for almost a year and during this time only he suffered a lot and had to be admitted six times. I provided all medical and financial and other sort of assistance required. Medical records, my friends, neighbours and relatives may be produced as witnesses.

4. She goes to her parental home without taking my consent and stays there for indifinte number of days. My friends, neighbours, relatives some of the SMS may be produced as witnesses.

5.She does not take part in any social occasion. Again invitation cards, my friends, neighbours and relatives may be produced as witnesses.

6. Since last four years, we had physical relationship for ten / twelve times. 

7. She does not even talk to me for days. My close friends can support me in court.

8. At least on two occasions, she was abusive to me in front of my and her parents. 

9. She beats my little son. When me and my parents try to restrain her, she reacts violently. 

10. As far as domestic chores are concerned, she does them with utmost neglect (poorly cokked food, dirty rooms) though she spends almost the entire day for that. I even wanted to have a maid since she fails to manage those things properly, but she refused that too. 

Do you think these may enoguh to  divorce granted? 

 

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     25 November 2015

Your lawyer may be partially right, because whatever strong case you may have, the laws in this country are gender biassed in favour of women. I can suggest two things (1) You proceed legally focussing wholly on the health and welfare of the child. (2) There is an organisation called SIFF (Save Indian Family Foundation). It is an organistion of husbands and relatives who are victims of gender laws. You can approach them for guidance. You type SIFF and search in google you will get all the details. You can get efficient lawyers also.

Ritwik (IT)     25 November 2015

Thanks for your suggestion Dr. Ramani.  But "health and welfare of child" can not be a ground for divorce granted according to many posts I have read in this forum. Mine seems to be a complicated one. 

mohan   25 November 2015

First you decide...what you want........ If you can hope for resettling with her, do try that. make her understand the importance of being together for the sake of the child....etc etc..and if she does not understand... then you have the seond option of divorce.. 

the seond option...if the girl doesnt want.....is a long and painful exercise for the husband. If she says a no to give divorce, then be prepared to give a huge amount as a settlement amount or spend years in courts. Even if she wants a divorce, her advocate will turn tables for you and then she will say as he says. then she would say a no to divorce so that you can buy your freedom from her at a huge price. Also, incase you fight in the courts, you will loose the child's custody as mother is given preference for such young child. 

Hence, advisable - forget your ego, make elders sit in between and try sorting this. (atleast show you want to). Then when the settlement isnt happening, immediately throw the option of divorce and settle this in not time. If you take time to bargain, their demands will rise and then years passby with nothing hapeening in your favour. 

 

To safeguard yourself, install CCTV's in your home - kitchen, lobby, stairs etc.. so that she does not blame you for any domestic violence. Once her freedom goes, she will leave the house, thus giving you an upper hand. incase you have an e.m.affair,,... keep it hidden if u can...else, it will spoil your game.  

 

pm for more questions........ 

 

Ritwik (IT)     25 November 2015

@Mohan, thanks for your suggestions. To begin with, neither I have an extra marital affair, nor have an ego, at least not to the extent that deprives my child from staying with both of his parents together. I have already tried discussing the issue with her elders several times and failed to bring the required normalcy back in our marital life. I don't think there is a room left for discussing with their elders. But I must take a lawyer with me next time I plan something in that line.

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     28 November 2015

Health of your child is not ground for divorce. It is for the custody of the child. You convince the court that in the interest of the health of the child he should be under your care. Do not connect it to divorce. Give the option to your wife to stay with you or separately. Health of the child will also put urgency into the matter.

Nitish Banka (lawyer)     28 November 2015

Go for judicial seperation, and seek divorce on grounds of cruelty here is the article which may helpp u

 

https://lexspeak.in/2015/11/cruelty-for-the-purpose-of-divorce/

 

Nitish Banka

9891549997

Ritwik (IT)     28 November 2015

@Dr. Ramani, thanks  I got your point. Thanks @Nitish for you suggestion and a useful reference.  


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