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Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     25 August 2016

Divorce

I am staying separate from my wife for last 6 years.We had a son 5 yrs old. My wife is working in a Govt. Project School which is a residential girls school. My wife stays in the school hostel with other inmates where fooding and lodging are absolutely free. My wife salary is Rs. 15000/- p.m. + free fooding & free lodging.Our son also stays with my wife in that hostel.  All my efforts went to into vain in convincing and persuading my wife to return back to my house. we both are staying in different states and naturally two different High Court jurisdictions. Around 3 weeks back i have filed for Divorce against my wife on ground of cruelty & desertion u/s 13(a) &(b) of HMA,1955. Presently i am unemployed looking for jobs. I think my wife have got the suit notice / summons and called me day before yesterday. She was questioning me as to why i have filed divorce case against her ? As the matter is now subjudice so i didnt talk with her too much. Now she is telling me that she dont want to keep son with her.  My question is :

1. In the court if my wife syas to the judge that she wants to return to my house then what should i say ?    

Personally i dont want anymore her to return. Because she have deserted me for last 6 yrs. A husband - Wife relation bonding exists on true love and trust. No there is no faith / trust exist between us.

2. Can my wife forcibly give the custody of our son to me. I have not claimed for any child custody. 

My wife is trying to do so because she is very jealous on me. she is anticipating that if i do get divorced then i might get remarried and lead a normal married life again. so if she gives the custody of the child on to me then it will be difficult for me to get married again with a child in my custody. though everything is possible and exceptions r there.

3. I am mentally prepared that my wife most likely will make false complaint / cases against me to retaliate against my divorce petions.  She will file definitely CrPc 125  +  498a, 406  etc. She is very bothered about my money from my previous  Orgns.I am ready to pay maintenance for my son but not for my wife as she is earning.

4. I am sure that if i being asked by the court to pay maintenance for my son then by which mode i will pay. because if i pay by cash or by credit  transfer  then i doubt that amount will not be spent on the welfare & wellness of my son, It might be spent on my inlaws . I guess. So what shall i do under these circumstances ?

 

Please advice.

 

 



Learning

 6 Replies

Sidharth   25 August 2016

Originally posted by : Subhomoy Das

I am staying separate from my wife for last 6 years.We had a son 5 yrs old. My wife is working in a Govt. Project School which is a residential girls school. My wife stays in the school hostel with other inmates where fooding and lodging are absolutely free. My wife salary is Rs. 15000/- p.m. + free fooding & free lodging.Our son also stays with my wife in that hostel.  All my efforts went to into vain in convincing and persuading my wife to return back to my house. we both are staying in different states and naturally two different High Court jurisdictions. Around 3 weeks back i have filed for Divorce against my wife on ground of cruelty & desertion u/s 13(a) &(b) of HMA,1955. Presently i am unemployed looking for jobs. I think my wife have got the suit notice / summons and called me day before yesterday. She was questioning me as to why i have filed divorce case against her ? As the matter is now subjudice so i didnt talk with her too much. Now she is telling me that she dont want to keep son with her.  My question is :

1. In the court if my wife syas to the judge that she wants to return to my house then what should i say ?    

Answer Personally i dont want anymore her to return. Because she have deserted me for last 6 yrs. A husband - Wife relation bonding exists on true love and trust. No there is no faith / trust exist between us.

2. Can my wife forcibly give the custody of our son to me. I have not claimed for any child custody. 

Answer Presently i am unemployed looking for jobs. My wife is working in a Govt. Project School which is a residential girls school. My wife stays in the school hostel with other inmates where fooding and lodging are absolutely free. My wife salary is Rs. 15000/- p.m. + free fooding & free lodging.


.

3. I am mentally prepared that my wife most likely will make false complaint / cases against me to retaliate against my divorce petions.  She will file definitely CrPc 125  +  498a, 406  etc. She is very bothered about my money from my previous  Orgns.I am ready to pay maintenance for my son but not for my wife as she is earning.

Answer It is upto her how she retailiates. You cannot stop her


4. I am sure that if i being asked by the court to pay maintenance for my son then by which mode i will pay. because if i pay by cash or by credit  transfer  then i doubt that amount will not be spent on the welfare & wellness of my son, It might be spent on my inlaws . I guess. So what shall i do under these circumstances ?

Answer :Mode of payment as per your covineance. and be in touch with your child    

Please advice.

 

 

 

1 Like

whatnot   25 August 2016

As mr. Siddarth found answers in your questions, you seems to be jumping gun too far.

Include a statement in your plea that you will be paying for child support.

The rest as case evovles.

Desertion is your best case. But remember you have to prove intention as well.

Cruelty is due to separation (lack of intimacy)..blah.blah..

Voulntarily you should offer alimony (personal view) as she has been wife and mother to a child. No matter her own potential.

 

Subhomoy Das (Retail Manager)     25 August 2016

I didnt get all proper advice from Mr. Siddharth.

@ Whatnot. Why should i offer voluntarily alimony to my wife. In my post i have mentioned that for last 6 yrs i have tried my level best in convincing and persuading my wife to return to my house. Even i told her that whatever asssets i got it will be all hers & our child. A husband always tries to take good care of her wife & child. But my wife is so arrogant she stick to her stubborness. Today she have shattered my dreams. Today i am suffering so much that i cant even work properly. It have affected my career. If such things continue then a day will come very soon where i need to get maintenance. So a lady who have ruined my life then why should i offer her alimony. For what reason ? 

Even i asked the child custody from her voluntarily. As my wife is staying in a girls school hostel , i fear that when my son will become 8-9 yrs old then parents /gaurdians of that girls school students will raise objections abt my son staying there in the girls hostel. Today my son he is only 5 yrs old so thats why no one is objecting. Moreover Hostel is not the right place for my sons uprbinging. For those reason i asked the custody of my son from my wife keeping in mind the welfare of my son is topr priority. Today there is no feeling / bonding between a father -son as my wife have distanced between us. Then also i am ready to pay maintenance for my son  because i dont want his life to get ruined. So when i have moved for divorced petition its most likely to happen that my wife will try to give the custody of the son to me because she is fearing that after divorce i may get remarry which she dont want or cant tolerate that fact. So anyhow she will try to stop me from getting remarried. For taht reason she is ready to give the custody of son on to me.  After divorce whether i do get marry or not its entirely my wish and decision. 

 

whatnot   25 August 2016

Ignore Mr. Siddarth answer at your own peril. His reply is classic example of answer is within query. He has highlighted relasvant part of your query. Read it. Understand it. Repat until you understand what he emant. If not send a personal message and request for clarification.

 

Mr Das, you're at dilemma. One part of you says let go past and live for future. Other part wants your past to be rectified (lack of helth or passion in work).

 

A child is the sufferer. Child suffers not beacuse of lack of proper place or money. But lack of parent love. He will lose one parent or both in coming days (i meant love)

 

You may have vvalid points of justification. Whatever it is you are answerable.

 

There is nothing better than compassion. Even a small portion of your earning should be kept aside even if she is at fault for break up. That is dharma.

We will never know what's story on the other side of aisle.

Let not emotion ruin your future.

Have a conversation with her(if she's called you then room for negotiation exists). Sort like two adult without blaming each other.

Issue to sort out

1) Divorce. If so on what condition.

2) Child. future.

Go with plan and any court will hear your plea.

You both may have suffered enough. why continue to suffer in coming years, beacuse a contest divorce will take time and your energy.

Truth is bitter pill to swallow. Hence doing right is tough.

 

Vibha   25 August 2016

  1. It is deplorable that husband and wife are both trying to avoid custody of child. 
  2. Have you tried to discuss matter amicably? Perhaps you can agree on visitation for child so that he can have both parents. Perhaps your wife may agree for mutual divorce on payment of some alimony or setting aside some assets for future of child?

Mukesh sharma (job )     25 August 2016

Hi i think your all

quarry will answerd well by MR.sidharath and their no confusion behind in your mind 

thanks 


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