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Naveen Amin (Sales Executive)     23 March 2015

I'm impotent, please help

Hello friends and fellow law experts,


I'm a 30yrs old male, here to seek help on legal documentation required before marriage. (please read below)

Few years back I had discovered about me that I am not interested in s*x and I even checked and got myself diagnosed from a s*xologist. All the tests were normal and nothing indicated a problem. I'm only attracted by female beauty, but never by their private parts, which means I like women, and not men. However, I have no excitation in s*xual activities and hence I call myself an As*xual. I have a girlfriend who also knows all this and still she wants to marry me (she is normal). She enjoys my company as a friends, lover and I also love her in the same way. She has no objection about my s*xual problem. Since it is impossible for me to have normal s*x, I give her s*xual pleasure artificially. I'm impotent and can't bear children. She is okay if we adopt a child or go for donated sperm.

However, since she is perfectly normal, I don't believe her completely whether she will live with me or not. We want to marry each other and I had this little fear. What legal document or entity should I have in order to save myself if she decides to divorce me and ask for alimony? How would I convince family lawyer or judge if in the worst case she claims a part in my property or ask for maintenance?



Learning

 11 Replies

drsxprt (self)     23 March 2015

hats off to ur guts.
frm symptoms, it is  mental and curable.
better consult gud s*xologist and nt roadside.
 

1 Like

Born Fighter (xxx)     23 March 2015

Your thinking is not incorrect. Marriage is for life, s*x and children are very important aspects of a married life, you never know what /how she is thinking.... may be due to her blind love and far from reality.

 

OR may be she is serious and will stick to her guns throughout her life, though which is hard to believe if she is perfectly normal and is not putting any conditions .....

 

Are her parents fine with the marriage ??

 

You need to get a pre nuptial agreement (though they are legally not valid in india) or any other agreement  signed by you and her parents mentioning the facts. However no matter whatever you do indian laws are such that your wife if she wants to divorce you and claim alimony can state mental cruelty /DV as reason for divorce and get away with your money.

 

Its more of how you stand by each other which only time can tell.

1 Like

kilimanjaro (md)     23 March 2015

Man this is something very serious

make sure before u marry any girl u disclose al this to her and get it in writing 

Regarding s*x :  u need to change the way you think, since u don't have any problem then how do u say ur impotent ?  

1 Like

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     23 March 2015

 

Hi Naveen Amin,

 

There is nothing called "impotent".

 

Do not call yourselves as "impotent".

 

Do not call anyone as "impotent".

 

You are not "impotent". 

You are just not interested in s*x.

That is not a crime.

 

Most men will be potent with the women they like and love.

 

If a man does not like a woman, he will not have s*x with her.

 

If a woman behaves badly or manly, her husband will not want to have s*x with her.

 

That does not mean, he is impotent.

 

There may be people who may need little medical help to be potent.

 

That is like any other medical condition that requires medications.

 

So, PLEASE DO NOT CALL ANYONE AS IMPOTENT.

 

These lawmakers added one ugly ground for divorce as "impotency".

 

 

Many women and her lawyers misuse this to get divorce and huge alimony by humiliating that man.

 

 

A woman who was forced in a marriage is misusing this law.

 

A woman who has extramarital affairs is misusing this law.

 

A woman who wanted to teach her father a lesson, does like this and then she marries her lover.

 

 

So, it is very good that you are being careful here. 

 

My suggestion would be that you should not marry your girl friend even if you have 1% doubt.

 

Because, many women use this law to marry, loot money from a men and fly away.

 

Some men get broken because of this.

 

But many men go forward, marry another woman, have children and lead happy life.

 

But there are woman who does not want to have their own child for many reasons.

 

Read about this woman : https://marry.indhuja.com/

 

If your girl friend is of this type of woman, you can marry her.

 

Else stay as friends.  

 

Find out a woman like Indhuja and marry her.

 

Getting into ugly legal issues after marriage is worse than staying single.

1 Like

drsxprt (self)     24 March 2015

hi naveen,
no s*xologist can decide whether u capable of to b a father. only doc can tell after examining both of u.
so why think of getting sperm.on donation.
by the way only female spice bear child and not male spice. hope u r not exception [jst kidding]
 frm ur thread, it appears both u enjoyed it before marriage.
ur worry is true bt 1st let the wedding to b happened and think whn dispute will b arose.

@ prasad:
ur advice is practical.
 

1 Like

Naveen Amin (Sales Executive)     25 March 2015

Thanks all for your kind replies. For those who think that I don't know about my condition, they should read www.as*xuality.org (just for information). Since childhood, I have never experienced any kind of s*xual excitation by any means. Porn is boring for me and I can't continue to watch it. I don't like to masturbate, as I don't find any fun in it.

 

Unfortunately, the laws of India and the penal code lags far behind science and hence can't comprehend such people. For everything else, I'm a normal intelligent person, working my way and earning appropriate amount. The doctor concluded and there may be some incomplete development of the brain, which relates to s*xual activities and that is the best explanation yet.

 


@Prasad- Yes, I agree all you've said, but the problem is that I can't have s*x enough to make lady pregnant. Indujha is a brave girl, I went thru her blog. My salutes to her. 

 

@BornFighter- She has hidden this fact from her parents, coz if they come to know, they won't agree for our marriage

 

@kilimanjaro- As*xuality is a condition by birth, not a problem, so it cannot be solved.

 

@drsxprt- I did visit 2 renown s*xologists in Mumbai and Pune. Now I plan to visit infertility centres.

 

Can somebody please suggest any legal documentation which I may ask her to sign. If she agrees, I think I'm go to go for marriage. This document may be valid in the worst case to at least prove that she knew about my s*xual condition properly before marriage and that she had no objection in marrying me. For any other accusations, I guess some good lawyers can help if problem arises.

 

gd dy (gd dy)     26 March 2015

@ naveen,
it is mental condition. moreover this is relevantly new concept fr india.
appreciate if u share the details s*xologist u consult with us.

drsxprt (self)     26 March 2015

@ naveen,
further enquiry reveal tht it is a hereditary diseases.
so chck ur antecedent.

besides, there is a rumour tht this type of cases r more in eastern part compare to other parts.
so chances r u may found right treatment there.

hwevr don't forget to share details of the person u consult. this type of specialist is very very RARE in this western part.
so ur info may obligatory to western part.

Naveen Amin (Sales Executive)     02 April 2015

However, I wanted to know from the point of view of law that if my to-be wife knew about my condition, can she still say in court that she didn't know about my condition. How do I convince the judge that I had explained my condition to my to-be wife well in advance?

Dr. MPS RAMANI Ph.D.[Tech.] (Scientist/Engineer)     10 April 2015

You prepare a document giving your condition and sign it. Then you get it signed by her also with two witnesses. Keep the document with you. If in future she pleads ignorance, you can produce the document in the court. However there is always risk in a marriage. Not being interested in s*x and impotence are two different things, though if a male is not interested, he may not get aroused and hence may not be able to penetrate.

kumarkumar (business)     11 April 2015

Finally if you still decide to marry her just get a written statement signed by her that she knows all the facts ans still she has proceeded with the marriage. This would help you.

 Also try to know the purpose of the marriage?


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