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bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

Mental harassment by husband

Hi,

 

I am married from 6 and a half year. I had a love marriage. But with the pace of time I starting having alot of problems in my relations. My husband turned alcoholic, psychic, started beating me, asking me for money.. I tried to cope up with the situation for the sake of my family and society, however in 2012 u got to know that my husband is cheating on me and I have enough proofs to prove it. When he was caught, he left me to live on my own. when I complained he starting saying that I should leave job and come back to his home town and have baby. But by then he had lost my trust and denied to have a baby but continued a distant relationship. We met occasionally but there was no change in him. He continued extra marital with the other women. His parents also said that leave him, he is not worth having a wife.  I still not thought of divorce, thinking he might understand the value of our marriage in my absence. But he is still the same abusive, aggressive and physic. I have lost faith and trust getting in to depression again. I want to come out of it and divorce seems the only option to me. But I am worried about my future. I am 30 and has no financial security.

 

Can somebody please suggest what are my rights as a women, wife and daughter in law. Can I claim for alimony?  My husband has nothing of his own as he keep changing his jobs and is always short of money because of his high expenditures. But my in laws have got enough property. I can claim for my share to compensate for the years I have wasted in this marriage and my future security.  I am residing in Noida and I am an outstation person, my family lives far from here in a village.  I cannot even think of going back as there are no job options out there. Please show me a path. Thanks!



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 28 Replies

jasvinder (employee)     25 August 2014

Dear mam.. My best wishes..consult a lawyer. And file for divorce. Yes u will get alimony.

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     25 August 2014

You have decided to quit the marital life with him by divorcing him, ofcourse it is your call because you know the facts better so it is you who has got to decide about it by fully understanding the pros and cons of your decision.  As far as alimony is concerned, since you are employed and having a very handsome source of income, your application in this  regard may not attract any merit especially in the event of your husband is drawing lesser salary or is not proved to have a higher status than you.  As far as the properties either on his name or the ancestral properties he expected to receive as his share, will be considered his own property in which you cannot ask for a share, while you cannot ask for a share in your husband's property itself, you cannot even think of asking for a share in your father in law's property.  This is law. However, you can get back all your streedhan properties that belonged to you including the jewels that were bestowed on you by your in laws.  Better consult a lawyer, discuss your issues in detail and make a call as per your decision.

bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

Thanks for the response sir.  Yes after evaluating all the pros and cons I have decided to move out of it to get rid of mental stress, depression, insecurities and insults.

I’m earning to support my living. We cannot call it handsome as it’s just good enough to bear once necessary expenses…like food, accommodation (that too rented) etc.

 

It can be proved that he has higher status than me. They have got properties in multiple cities.  I am his wife and he is not being capable enough to keep this relationship healthy. He betrayed, he cheated, still abuses me, and I have been trying to adjust so far but no more. So why am I penalized for this when I am not at fault.   I have done everything that a girl could do for this relation. What about my future.. I am hitting 30s .. what about the time and years I have wasted for this relation.. he has still got his parents to look after and support and leave enough for his life ahead.. what about me and my life ahead. Is their a law that girl can not ask from ancestral property?

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     25 August 2014

from your query even we cannot advice for you to go for mutual consent divorce

there is no such law till now but you can discuss with your in laws and with their option you can proceed to meet a lawyer 

stanley (Freedom)     25 August 2014

There may be another angle to the problem . 

1. You state that you are married for 6 and 1/2 years and still dont have a baby . 

2. Is this the root cause of the issue and hence the souring in relations . 

3. Normally when the relation turns sour the focus is on the properties or assets of the husband . As your husband does not own anything you would not be getting anything as per law . But as you are a working women beware the tide may turn against you if your husband seeks maintenance u/s 24 of HMA if you are married under hindu marriage act . As he may state he is jobless and for whatso ever reason he may  state that he is not capable of earning. 

4. Who has penalised you ?? you are at liberty to seek divorce and re-marry . May be you may get a richer wealthier husband with -ve values  or maybe the poor husband with no properties or wealth but with richer values in life and everything comes with a price . Life is a gamble :-).

 

There is no point regreting the past but you have to move ahead with life rather than thinking or dreaming of aquiring ancestrial property which isnt possible ..

bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

Thanks Stanley, I am not thinking of remarrying, my state of mind is not ready to trust another man. .. I am thinking of alimony only to secure my future if have to live all alone, and I don’t think its wrong because its all happening to me because of him.  My husband is well educated from foreign. And earns well when Works  so there is no way he can prove his incapability of not earning… your suggestion will help me taking my decision wisely. Thanks anyways. 

bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

And Baby is not at all the reason.. initially my husband was not ready for it and from last 3 years I have trust issues with him and now I’m not ready. He wants to have a baby now only to bind me to himself. So that I could never leave him because of Baby’s future and he can continue his life style the way it is.  

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     25 August 2014

Only below legal options available to you provided you can prove them with reasonable evidences;


1. Divorce under Mental Cruelties ground from Civil Matrimonial Court.

2. May be one time notional litigation expenses from Civil Matrimonial Court. 

3. No maintenance from Husband as he is not having 'regular' source of income read with you are 'educated and working wife'. The facts herein shall be interpreted by a Court of Law under Minimum Wage Act of the State under which it is filed basing two good upper and lower limbs read with a pair of working condition eyes and ears hence he can work. But same does not generate enough maintenance for a metro wife when she alleges “husband earns good when works”!

4. Your ‘stridhan’ from matrimonial home under Civil Laws. 

5. You have no rights in In-Laws various properties. 

6. Bigamy proofs should be of silver quality not some email or social media exchange to call ‘I have enough proofs’. Even if he gets conviction he is bound to spend time in Jail as per Law and thus no monetary solace it leaves as outcome. Thread on this route only if evidence which you say are of silver quality otherwise it will be simple waste of litigation expenses on your part.

7. Marriage is a journey and not the destination. Some journeys are riddled with really bad pot-holes and some are bumpy rides and Societal Laws cannot provide lifetime maintenance just because a particular persons marriage has turned into bad.

8. You still have enough productive youthful years left and may be post Decree in divorce look for re-marriage with a better person as companion for rest of life. One of the spouses can ask for monetary help from other monetary strong spouse as per laid down Law of Supreme Court in relations to alleged facts herein. Beating weaker spouse is not justified, in a marital relationship, yet based on quality of petition writer skills it can generate twist under a Domestic Violence Act generated Complaint Application before Magistrate Court. Turning alcoholic is a vise yet mostly not looked in right spirits in a marital setup all based on quality of petition writer skills and can generate twist under a Domestic Violence Act generated Complaint Application to invoke protection order (for what) I predict for right to residence and imaginary compensation to Applicant.

9. From bare reading your brief, applicable Law meant for such briefs are Civil Family Laws (Mutual Consent Divorce OR Divorce under Cruelty grounds) and not Criminal Family Laws (Dowry – Domestic Violence Act). The moment by some misinformation you choose Criminal Family Laws on husband or on in-laws the sluggish Court system will suck your rest of the productive years, though most of the Criminal Family Law cases State fights on your behalf but they create situation of whirlpool on Complainant – Applicant hence make an informed decision and advised to choose Civil Family Laws to come out of a bad marriage.

10. Criminal Family Laws should be used when Husband / In Laws shown greed for money and caused upon you mental cruelties of extreme nature, caused upon you attempt to your life and limbs, husband used to beat you for fulfilling his demands, non cohabitation, caused mental cruelties, caused economic cruelties like deprived you of your household monies – daily food – medicine – did not provide you same living standards as he is accosted of etc., caused verbal – psychological abuses, thrown you out of matrimonial home, left you deserted on roads, deprived you of cloths and personal belongings etc. etc. etc. Appropriate proof read with witness statements under stricter Criminal Family Law required to prove charges hence para 9 large reasoning advised for various metro female readers consumption via this generic reply. However I am in no way want to cloud your judgment to invoke combination of Laws or stick to peaceful exit out of a bad marriage. This is a prospective client's exclusive call to take.

11. Parties may also try marital counseling from trained professional Marriage Counselors. 

12. It is not advisable to have child out of the wedlock under present circumstances. 


[Last reply]

       

1 Like

(Guest)

The following are the thoughts of the woman seeking here for a legal remedy to grab properties.


MY Marriage failed-----------then how could My rights on husbands property may fail.(I am woman I have a right to grab the properties of husband whether legal or illegal)


I am working woman and educated as well-----------So what ! I am still unable in the eyes of law because I am a woman.


I am 30 and young and still have chances of remarriage ------------So what ! I will say to all that I can't marry because  I don't need man but yes I need Man's property.


I know I am also a culprit of marriage default---------------But who cares, all will believe me that my husband was only b*st*rd and ill mouthed,drunkyard,wife beater and abuser. I will get sympathy from all. I will get reward as maintenance.


I have no shame----------If I will get chance then I will grab even In-laws property.


Conclusion:


1. Women's every wishes end's with money only.


2. The allegation which she is making that her husband had learned from foreign and earned well. He has many properties,he can earn well too.

By this , What are you showing here, do your husband is bond labourer who has got his birth on this earth to fulfill your demands of lavish life.

Because as per your statement you told that you are earning and getting food,cloths and accommodation then what left yet.......A shopping at London street, Lunch @ Grand Hyat Dubai, dinner @ Taj corals Australia. Then you will say that your basic needs has been maintained and fulfilled.....


Dear lady, This is 2014 Try to be self dependent not act as a woman of 1850 or pre19th century who needs a permission from her husband even to go for bathroom.

 

Pay self heed to yourself, you are already earning, get divorced from him,get your actual stridhan whatever you got in your marriage and part with amicable settlement without bothering each other like a crab fight.

 

Don't shine your eye on illegal demand of properties of other's.

 

Don't make yourself to be called as property whose rate has to be decided by the court if it has been used by any one.

 

Marriage is a process of two persons where both enjoys in whatever way it comes.

 

If any body has problem and can't survive in that relationship,then plz do get part with amicable MCD with genuine settlement.

 

 

ESIS

 

-----------------------

 

Join hand’s to fight against Misuse of Law, their Legal extortion & terrorism.

 

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Email: everysuffererisasaviour@gmail.com

                              AND                                 

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bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

Thank you. Very useful and wise advice. I have already been suggested to log criminal case against them but its against my norms hence not thinking of opting for this. appreciate your response.

bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

Sorry about your state of mind. You might be a victim  of false criminal case or may have witnessed it. If you read be earlier reply I have clearly mentioned I cannot go for placing false allegations. I am taking advice to know what my rights are, not trying to find out ways to acquire something from others pocket.  Plesae do not comment when you don’t know what a person has gone thru or has done to survive a relationship. Thank you. 

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     25 August 2014

Hi "bad marriage victim",
 
why do you call yourselves a "bad marriage victim".?
 
You stated that your marriage is a love marriage.
 
So, this marriage happened with your full consent.
You were not forced into this marriage.
You both might have been in love for few months if not years before marriage.
So, you should have gone for this marriage only because you loved and trusted him.
 
Then why do you call yourselves a "bad marriage victim".?
 
If this marriage failed, both of you should take responsibility.
 
I fully agree with all that Mr.ESIS has stated and suggested.
 
Did your husband and family asked for dowry for this marriage?
If they have asked, would you have not have filed "dowry demand" case on them?
 
Now you want alimony from your husband. Not only that, you are also eyeing his parents money?
 
Why? How is your alimony demand different and less uglier than any dowry demand?

Your husband still wants to live with you. He wants to have baby with you.
You have not mentioned of any extramarital affairs that he might have.
Why not honor the love of this man whom you loved and married?
 
You said your husband is asking money and that is wrong.
Now why are you asking him money while you know that he struggles for job and money.
 
If possible, support him and save your marriage and have a child and live a happy live.
 
If you cannot live with him, get divorce and move on. 
Be a self supporting proud woman. 
Do not ask money and degrade the love marriage that you did.

bad marriage victim (working)     25 August 2014

Read it well Mr. Prasad.. I have mentioned about his extra marital affair. that relation did not last more than 2 years because of his psychic behaviour. Indeed it was a love marraige noboday forced either of us.. but i was not told that he will hit me, i was not told that he will ask for money, I was not told that he will cheat on me, I was not told that he will abuse me and my parents, I was not told that i will have to be the man of the house and run it. I loved and trusted him and dealt with all the problem for 6 years only in hope that one day this relation will be same what it used to be. you suggesting to let him go simply as if nothing has happened, so that he can remarry and spoil another girls life.. thinking that divorce doesn't hurt at all???? Great suggestion buddy.. but I don't need it. A person should have the realization or fear of doing wrong to someone, of taking someone granted. My life is spoiled but letting it go the way you are suggesting, will encourage him to spoil some other girl's life. You may call it difference of opinion.

Prasad (Systems Engineer)     25 August 2014

Hi "bad marriage victim",
 
Sorry that I missed the point on extramarital affair.
Then it is very straight forward.
 
As you have proof for your husband's extra marital affair, 
you should file a case of "adultery" on him and get divorce from him.
 
But your original query is about "your rights as a women, wife and daughter in law".
More than your rights, you are interested in grabbing the properties from your in laws.
 
If you really want to teach a lesson to your husband so that he cannot spoil another girl's life,
you should file case of "adultery" on him and get divorce from him.
 
But you want to get share in the properties of your in laws? why ?  
How will this teach a lesson to your husband?
 
Please be clear and do not contradict yourselves.
 
As you said, do not let your husband go simply as if nothing has happened.
 
File a case on "adultery" and spoil his name before he spoils another girl's life. 
If required, give an advertisement in newspaper also.
 
Do not let him get away by getting money from him. It is like getting bribe.
Teach him a lesson.

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