Supriya (Lecturer) 18 February 2014

Mental harassment

Hi,

I am married since last 3.5 years.I was doing my M.Tech while I got married. After 2 months of my marriage I got pregnant. My husband left me in my paternal house so that he will neither have to spend a single rupee nor have to take the responsibility of me n my kid. But after delivery my baby did not survive and died. After that my physical and mental condition also never remained good. My husband never spent a single rupee for my treatment.Instead of bringing me to his house my husband n my mother-in-law forced me to stay in my paternal home. Every time mother-in-law and my husband started talking some false n nonsense stuff against me and my parents(Me and my parents have misbehaved them). It became a daily routine of my husband n mother-in-law over telephone. This way I spent 2.5 years at my paternal home.

When I came back to my husband's place my sister-in-law came with me to stay with us. She never tolerated we husband-wife sitting or talking together(Started shouting every time when she sees any such.)Started talking some false stuff against me to create misunderstanding. My husband without knowing real fact started believing thing and use to fight with me. And both of them drove me out of the house saying that I am a selfish girl and I am splitting their house.

Then I started staying with my parents for 6 months.Then my husband again took me to his place. Now I am staying with him only. But in order to break our relationship my mother-in-law keeps on talking against me and my parents as a result the disturbance between me and my husband is still on. My husband keeps on commenting me and he is not ready to believe which is right and which is wrong.

I am unable to tolerate all of these every day. I am very much depressed as I am unable to fulfill these everyday drama. Please suggest me.

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5 Replies

Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 18 February 2014

Only reason I am responding is to make you aware of what will happen if you contact an advocate. He will ask you to file all kinds of cases and that will be the end of whatever hope you have in salvaging your domestic relationship. What you have described is not a major problem and is referred to as the normal wear-and-tear in a marriage. Just remain positive. Sooner or later your mother-in-law will get old and die, your sister-in-law will get married and the two of you will be happy. So, be patient and look at it as a problem but not a legal one. Try to reduce the stress on you. Submit to their demands occasionally to appease them. Some sacrifices are required to get the evasive matrimonial bliss.

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(Guest)

1. Are you willing to take divorce?

2. If yes then get to some reasonable alimony for bearing a child.

3. Move on if you can not deal with the things.

Supriya (Lecturer) 18 February 2014

Thanks Samir.

I am mentally broken. I dropped my studies because of these. It becomes very tough to tolerate different nonexistent allegations every day and to give different explanations so that I can maintain a peaceful life.

But, I will do my best to follow your advise. I may need some consultation if I face any difficulty in future.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business) 19 February 2014

I suggest that you restart your studies. It is NEVER late to study. This will enable you to focus your energy elsewhere. In particular, now, more than ever before, people go for post-graduate studies at all ages. I do not know what it will take to restart your M-Tech, if you need to give a new entrance or not. But give it a shot.

Also, advanced degree will help you advance your career. In the event you decide to get divorced or even otherwise, it will be a good asset to have. You are still young (from your descripttion of things) so focus on the good-things-that-can-happen. If you switch your focus to education for the time been, your domestic problems may also get solved. Just put them in the background and they will take care of themselves. Focus on the family problems only and you will get eaten by them, day-and-night.

If you find yourself out of touch with tech, you can pursue an MBA or even LLB! Do pursue something... GOOD LUCK!!!

Ngaraj N Nyamati (Advocate) 19 February 2014

Supriya,

I appreciate the suggestions, advise given by Mr.Samir. I fully agree and endorse his view/advise. Please act accordingly.

I observe from your note nothing has happened to your marriage life. You have already married, it appears your husband relation with you is better. Life is not straight and smooth. Some time, to someone,these are common and silly problems compared to other couple's history. You take it light what has happened earlier, forget the bad incidences and try to be cool and happy. Even if they harsh by you mother.in.law and sisterinlaw, try to be with them happy and convense your family including your husband. As suggested by you Mr.Samir you opt for studies/ to forget the small incidents happending in the house. Both are ladies, you are also lady take the matter cooly,patiently this small things forget andtry lead happy life. After all this life.

I wish you good luck and days will come early.

Nagaraj N Nyamati