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Help needed (none)     09 January 2014

Husband avoiding alimony

Hi, PLease Help and Advice

I got married last last year, My husband has been harrassing me and threatening to to divorce since the beginning ... I finally have agreed to give my consent for divorce. Now I want my money which I had spent approx 25lakh on this marriage back, since it was my parents hard earned money!

Now when I am asking this money back , my husband conveniently has blamed me for this divorce, saying that I only want this divorce and not him. And now blaming that this marriage has failed because of me..and is not ready to pay a single paisa.

How do I handle this situation. please help !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am totally devastated. 

 

 

 

 



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 17 Replies

fighting back (exec)     10 January 2014

Now I want my money which I had spent approx 25lakh on this marriage back, since it was my parents hard earned money!

now you demand rs 25 lakhs which you spent on marriage!!! so you had kept all the books of accounts to calculate rs 25 lakhs....great....what a way to extract money.

and why would he pay if he is ready to accept you back....

get_strong (engineer)     10 January 2014

@fighting back:now you demand rs 25 lakhs which you spent on marriage!!! so you had kept all the books of accounts to calculate rs 25 lakhs!!! You seem to be asking like a cross examiner!!! Nobody has to actually keep book of accounts to calculate how much was spent on marriage.girls parents who struggled to arrange for the money from different sources,hard earned and borrowed knows very well how much was spent on what.Daughter who participated in preparations and looked how parents struggled to make for it knows very well. You should know if not all,if not u, there are many husband families,who extort money during marriage,in demanding for luxury and comfort! Most girls families will not keep bags of money inside the locker,to spend thoughtlessly, as to forget how much was spent,even approximately.
1 Like

fighting back (exec)     10 January 2014

@get strong: did you read the authors post carefully, Now I want my money which I had spent approx 25lakh on this marriage back,

she says that she wants the 25 lakhs spent on marriage, back, 

and you say parents who struggled to arrange for the money from different sources,hard earned and borrowed knows very well how much was spent on what.

which parent will 'struggle' and 'arrange' for money from different sources to spend Rs 25 lakhs hard earned money!! did they get their daughter married in JW marriot Dubai?? dont you think spending rs 25 lakhs on marriage is more of a lavish and splurging affair and you call it hard earned money? hard earned money is not spent on a 4 hours of marriage ceremony costing rs 25 lakhs....did they hire choppers for the guests or what? you can get a chopper for rs 1 lakh per hour?

and you call this spending of hard earned money? i really dont think so..........and if they really gave this money as dowry as you claim, then why did they get into marriage with such a greedy man, who would think of marrying someone who demands rs 25 lakhs, people usually pay dowry to marry off girls who are from a poor or middle class society, who they think have got a good and well earning groom. no one pays rs 25 lacks 

1 Like

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     10 January 2014

if you have the jewellery bills purchased at the time of marriage (different articles0 gifts given to you from your parents and valuables and any cash can be said as stridhan and you have every right to take back if you intend for divorce or separate from your husband 

under 14 of hindu succession act  you can file a case but not all the amount spent for marriage can be recovered bfrom your husband

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     10 January 2014

if you have the jewellery bills purchased at the time of marriage (different articles0 gifts given to you from your parents and valuables and any cash can be said as stridhan and you have every right to take back if you intend for divorce or separate from your husband 

under 14 of hindu succession act  you can file a case but not all the amount spent for marriage can be recovered from your husband

as he is blaming on you that you insisted for divorce so why not give another chance and try to give a chance for your marriage and go for a last resort as divorce and do not be in hurry 

get_strong (engineer)     10 January 2014


@fighting back : might be she did a 'I' mistake than 'My parents' since its her marriage and life, to take linience.

I dont know from which part of India you are.

Take it from me, I am from banglore,married almost 2 years back---it was a just upper middle class marriage, normal marriage.And we spent 15 lakhs on expenses EXCLUDING jewellery,which is worth 6 lakhs today!!!! do you want component wise breakup? since it was my DAD's hard earned life time money,including full final settlement,paid from his Office since he EXPIRED!!! and i myself know where and on what evry bit was spent,as i had to be part of preparation....

I am not sure where she is from, if marriage is bit made Lavish, or Upper middle class, things might even go up....

 

 

1 Like

Help needed (none)     10 January 2014

I have account of all the money. because he and extracted and just kept extracting money from me every now and then.. not just the monetary aspects, the menta trauma, the humiliation  and the emotional harassment was unbearable. I also quit my job to make this marriage work as i wanted myself entirely to him n his family.... but it was just a futile attempt.

I lost on all sides, emotioanlly, financially,socially and proffessionally.. i am struggling to get me back on track...

Help needed (none)     10 January 2014

I have account of all the money. because he and extracted and just kept extracting money from me every now and then.. not just the monetary aspects, the menta trauma, the humiliation  and the emotional harassment was unbearable. I also quit my job to make this marriage work as i wanted myself entirely to him n his family.... but it was just a futile attempt.

I lost on all sides, emotioanlly, financially,socially and proffessionally.. i am struggling to get me back on track...

Northern Queen (Manager)     10 January 2014

I agree with 'fighting back'.

 

@get strong - maybe you should change your name to 'get real'.  It was unfair that you had a go at 'fighting back' for expressing his views.  I think the point he was trying to make was that the queriest is now crying wolf because her marriage has broken down and she is mostly to blame.  

 

Asking for 25 lakh (which i believe is invented costs, just for effect on here to gain sympathy) is just another way of  her saying 'i am going to make this man pay me soooo much money, he is going to be sorry he married me' .  She just wants revenge.

 

This woman is just another 498a troll in the making 

2 Like

fighting back (exec)     10 January 2014

@northern queen...........thank you very much northern queen...you have understood my point 100%, imagine calling the money spent as 'hard earned' and spending an astronomical sum of rs 25 lakhs!!, the other lady who says that it is normal. i dont buy this argument. i understand that people do splurge. but not 25 lakhs!!! no way.....the author has a dead marriage. so instead of returning empty handed. she wants some pockets full........and she herself says that her husband has said that the marriage is rocked because of her. this directly means that the husband is still ready to accept her back and live with her. then why the hell she wants to go away with pocket full of currency notes....and crying like a baby that she is suffering....all bullsh*t i say

2 Like

Northern Queen (Manager)     10 January 2014

I absolutely agree fighting back.  This woman is crying because she spoilt her own marriage but doesn't want to lose face and admit to society.  She's just a greedy and materialistic troll, trying to fleece her innocent husband and family.  I pity him.

 

I think she needs to learn about the sanctity of marriage - it isn't about money.  

 

25 lakhs - oh dream on dear - do you think you are a princess!!!!

 

1 Like

great india (manager)     12 January 2014

hwy @ querist why dont you blame fate n move on. wait for " agla janam" as you are bonded for next 7 janams na..... you can recover in next janam.... till then why not stay happy..... just forget losses n move.on
1 Like

lifeisbeautiful (searching)     12 January 2014

This is my story

 

Dear Sir, Maam,

Need your expert advice on my situation. I have been married for almost 3.5 years now. In these year me and my husband had many diffrences and many a times i left his house and went to my parents place. These diffrences has increased recently and he has started showing complete ignorance towards me. Recently he asked me to leave his house and i am since 19th nov staying at my parents place and asked for mutual divorce in front of my parents. I have been asked to leave my job when i got married and take care of the house. My mother in law being a schizophrenia patient has mentally tortured me in these years by abusing me and my parents and accusing me for not able to conceive in all these years. My husband is a business man, my father in law in a financial chartered accountant. My husband monthly income is in lacs but he used to give me only six thousand and my father in law used to give me 4 thousand for my monthly expense. Since November last year from the time i have come to my parents house he has stopped giving me any money. I dont have any job in hand currently. What i can make out is that the entire family is very clever in dealing with financial matters. As per my father in law request, my husband had opened an account in my name of which i have no information. i do not know the account number and dont even have the pass book or cheque book. i have never operated that account. my husband transfer money in that account to pay his employee and also to show that i am working in his office and to pay me as well.But i have never recieved any money from that account. Also he purchased a car in my name, i dont know why, but i feel to save from some tax and all. 

I know to apply for divorce we both need to stay seperately for a period of one year. But i want to know, in the meanwhile till i am staying separate from him, is he not liable to atleast pay me my monthly pocket money for my living which he has stopped giving. What can i do to claim my rights. Also, i was not allowed to take any jewellery from my inlaws house before leaving. I want to know of my rights till the time i do not get a divorce as i feel my in laws are happy that they do not have to pay any penny from their pocket and also are safe from divorce for another one year.

Need your help urgently. Awaiting your response. 

Thanks,

Tanu

lifeisbeautiful (searching)     12 January 2014

This is my story

 

Dear Sir, Maam,

Need your expert advice on my situation. I have been married for almost 3.5 years now. In these year me and my husband had many diffrences and many a times i left his house and went to my parents place. These diffrences has increased recently and he has started showing complete ignorance towards me. Recently he asked me to leave his house and i am since 19th nov staying at my parents place and asked for mutual divorce in front of my parents. I have been asked to leave my job when i got married and take care of the house. My mother in law being a schizophrenia patient has mentally tortured me in these years by abusing me and my parents and accusing me for not able to conceive in all these years. My husband is a business man, my father in law in a financial chartered accountant. My husband monthly income is in lacs but he used to give me only six thousand and my father in law used to give me 4 thousand for my monthly expense. Since November last year from the time i have come to my parents house he has stopped giving me any money. I dont have any job in hand currently. What i can make out is that the entire family is very clever in dealing with financial matters. As per my father in law request, my husband had opened an account in my name of which i have no information. i do not know the account number and dont even have the pass book or cheque book. i have never operated that account. my husband transfer money in that account to pay his employee and also to show that i am working in his office and to pay me as well.But i have never recieved any money from that account. Also he purchased a car in my name, i dont know why, but i feel to save from some tax and all. 

I know to apply for divorce we both need to stay seperately for a period of one year. But i want to know, in the meanwhile till i am staying separate from him, is he not liable to atleast pay me my monthly pocket money for my living which he has stopped giving. What can i do to claim my rights. Also, i was not allowed to take any jewellery from my inlaws house before leaving. I want to know of my rights till the time i do not get a divorce as i feel my in laws are happy that they do not have to pay any penny from their pocket and also are safe from divorce for another one year.

Need your help urgently. Awaiting your response. 

Thanks,

Tanu


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