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sunanda (student)     14 November 2013

Husband filed divorce_please help

I am in a great problem...My husband files RCR... We got married before 2 and half years. After that  I joined with my husband for 4 month at abroad. After that for his peculiar behavior now I am staying for more than 1 year 9 months at my parents house, due to following reason..

Ø  One time he hit me at my head (I don't have any proof) and he scold me many time..

Ø  He suspect me for unnecessary reason, that I have past boyfriends..He is raising many time these issues..for that I am not feeling safe to join with him..

 

     I was willing to face his RCR and wanted to join with him.. but the day our reply to be submitted of his RCR, he with draw and filed divorce case based on "mental cruelty"..

 

 Basically he mentioned following points:

 

1. He mentioned that due to some of my inclination with my past boy friend, I did not joined with him (completely false, Just he was my boy friend before marriage..) He just kept a telephonic record where we talked in friendly way.. where in Majak my friend told that "I am realising why we did not able to get married" As after that he bitten me, and made quarrelled with my boy friend also, after that due to unnecessary quarrel I am staying apart for more than 1 year and I am doing a job..

2. During our separation period, in quarrelled mode I deny to join with him..but after that he is contact less.. My father sent him letter to come for a mutual talk.. But he never show up and sent me the diverse letter..

3. Now husband left his job and telling that, he is jobless.. In such case how I will demand alimony? In order to take care, he is holding more than 10 lakhs loan..All these he is playing, in order not to pay the maintenance..

4. In reality I want to join with him and yesterday I called him and I told that I want to join with her.. But he never speak with me properly and cut the phone..

5. In such case what shall I do?

 

My I am really helpless in this situation..Expert please suggest me..

God bless you..

 



Learning

 16 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     14 November 2013

If you want to join him then do some efforts thru some near friends & relatives to mediate and resolve the situation. You can properly contest the divorce petition with the help of a good advocate. He will have to prove the grounds. As far as maintenance is concerned, then if you are unable to maintain your self then he will have to provide you maintenance in spite of all the tactics. Request the court to send the matter for counselling to make attempts for reconciliation.

(Guest)

Its better to be aware of the news:

 

https://timesofap.com/politics/software-engineer-kills-wife-mother-in-law-in-hyderabad_71406.html

Sudhir Kumar, Advocate (Advocate)     14 November 2013

repeated

 

https://www.lawyersclubindia.com/forum/details.asp?mod_id=91327&offset=1#.UoTiUifQyVE

sunanda (student)     14 November 2013

Dear Madam Archana,

    Thank you for your kind suggestions.. Actually I am doing small job (getting around 10 K p.m) and from small village..and by the time he is Job less and showing X-Nos of loans... So how will it go?

Please suggest me on this..

 

Thank you


(Guest)

@Author

 

what alimony you are talking about? Can you justify as a wife what are those matrimonial duties that you have performed apart from daily discussions with your ex-boyfriend? Aren't you ashamed of begging money when in fact you deserted your husband 1.8yrs back and continued chit chatting with your ex-boyfriend. Going by your brief and intellect I really doubt whether you know the meaning of boyfriend?

 

Alimony for what, having a boyfriend?
Alimony for what, willful desertion?

 

Don't feel shy to be ashamed of yourself.

 

It is natural for your husband to mistrust you as soon as he came to know about your past affairs. As a dutiful wife, its your responsibility to make him understand that no such relation exists between you and your friend. You failed miserably in doing so. On top of that you chose to run away from your responsibility by staying away from him thus creating more confusion for him. That way you have erred on him. Now for all these, do you expect alimony in return?

 

There should be justice in what you ask!

498 A fighter (Advocate)     14 November 2013

Stalker sir is correct , if you are wife dutiful wife and want to go back to him then why are seprated away from him since last one year, one year sufficient to sort out any husband wife dispute, on the basis of only doubt no husband will go to shattered his family life?

either he have some strong evidence as you said?

again one you are from indian small village you must know " after no husband even allow or like  from wife to mingle with his friend then how he accept your boy friend? and after marriage also you are talking him if it is crating problem then avoid it , stop talking

any man in india if he is friend of beautiful girl and girl get married then he narrow his friendship only upto high , hellow and nothing more untill and unless there some extra between them . he know it will not only destroy girl family but also make adverse effect on his family toooo..

so ab wo to chali gayee chalo dusri friend banate hai wali baat rah jaati again here agar koi strong attraction ya possesivness na ho to.

are log bahi , bahan , ya bachpan ke dost ko bhul jaate hai. to girl friend wo bhi parayee ho chuki se dosti kya rakhenge? jaante hai ke ab us girl ke aim sirf uski family ya sirf pati hai , ab kuch nahi hone wala ab to dosti rakhne me bhi kahatra hai...

aise me aap pati ko dekho dost ko chodo, ab pati ko chod diya to dost ko dekho, you dusre dost dekh lo...? simple...duniya bahoot badi hai sabko kahi ya kahi dosto ki jarurat jada hai, agar pati ki jada jarurat hai to pati ko dekho aur use hi dost bana lo.. apki sari problem solve no court no police no cases no RCR . aur pati bura hua dost accha hai , dost pati se     jada care karta hai , to usi se dosti aur pakki kar lo... ? pati ko chod do uske haal par ...

T. Kalaiselvan, Advocate (Advocate)     15 November 2013

A woman cannot live a peaceful life with a suspicious man for ever and he will not either make both of their lives peaceful.  A man's suspicions about his wife's fidelity will keep lingering within himself for ever all through his life making the life miserable to his wife.  This mental ailment of the man will tend him to behave and act as a sadist resulting into  worst consequences thereon.  Therefore it is your call whether to continue your life with him any more or to depart your ways by taking a hefty one time settlement of a handsome alimony amount and quit from his life once and for ever.

Aazad Sufferer (Advocacy-Family and women oriented laws)     15 November 2013

Digest one true Joke:

 

If Legal begging is through out on sale in India then why should I stop: Abla naari

 

PAYIYE Har Indian husband se maintenance and alimony ka 100% offer: INDIAN BIASED LAW MAKERS

 

Jaldi kijiyega kahin mauka chut na jaye: All crooked Advocates

 

 

 


 

1 Like

Ms.Nirmala P.Rao (CEO)     15 November 2013

You file a counter in RCR   (oppose RCR) as well as in the Divorce petition also alleging all the above facts and seek divorce or convert the divorce into MCD with his consent and claim all your Stridhan, dowry etc paid to him apart from alimony, if he has any property in lump sum amount and get rid of him once for all  for your good and continue your present job  and live in self respect and dignity. The sooner you get divorce from him the better it would be for you. If you wish to thank me for this reply please click the thank you button on this forum.

1 Like

(Guest)

I differ a lot from all the above experts. Its true that living with a suspicious person is highly dangerous but it is also true that his suspicion on his wife has a cause and reason. Any partner male/female should not allow the suspicion to grow. Its not that difficult to do so. All that men need is a fair talk. If you run away from him and like to get rid of him but still want a hefty lump sum or his property as alimony then what message are you sending to him? Its all in the psychology. You may have hundred laws and hundred different sections completely favoring female gender but end of the day the erring one will suffer.

 

What if a woman is in the position of the husband and she suspects that her husband is cheating on her. Would you all offer a similar advice? How different is a woman getting killed after husband cheats on her and then kills her for additional dowry?

 

Here this woman may not be cheating on her husband but she did not try to resolve the differences with her husband instead she ran away. Believe me and I bet its not impossible to change a suspicious man. I have seen people who have tremendously changed. Here in this case the woman she did not even given a try. I can guess the reasons.

 

Final comment, listen lady, he will not pay you. Take it for granted. You know the facts. Don't overdo the job. One day you may reap what you sow. Anyway he can prove your desertion and get rid of the alimony. But I don't want the worse to happen to you.


(Guest)

 


You have messed your life by taking name of your boyfriend.  It is very natural for husband to doubt you.


You better give divorce to your husband rather than begging for years together.. give me alimony my lord.. give me maintenance my lordship...



There is a lot of difference between friend and boyfriend.  But after marriage, friend of the opposite s*x will also be treated as a threat to marriage ie will be treated as a boyfriend.  So all these things you should have understood.

498 A fighter (Advocate)     15 November 2013

completely agree with stalker sir

Yes the wives are doing same instead of solving problems , they ran away to their father home, and from their the send missiles of biased law over husband and still think husband will take her back one day, yes man will , but till then milk get spoiled and turn into curd and is almost immpossible to convert  it inot milk again.

Helping Hand sir, rightly advised, there is deep sense in his advise and that is universal truth.. no one can change  this so divorce is sure and divorce will also without condition then only you can free from cases and courts soon and start new life and enjoy.

Ranee....... (NA)     15 November 2013

Now you decide what do you want.If you are willing to continue the relation than ask for apology for what you have done with  husband and  never ever try to contact or let him(boyfriend) contact you again.Happy marriages are based on mutual trust.

.

.

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[[[[[If you want to keep talking your ex then use a new SIM in absence of your husband!!!:P:P:P]]]]]


498 A fighter (Advocate)     16 November 2013

Ranee madam " again problem wo nayee sim to le aayegi par new time kaha se layegi, utan patience to hona chahiye, chalo inko patience her inke boy friend ko kya pata ki kab inka pati inke saath hai ab use , usi time............ baat karna tab ye kya karengi,

agar baar baar cell band mila to wo bor ho jayega, jhaala ja jayega aur ghar aa dhamkega tab to aur bada dhamak ho jayega, aise sare kaam patience aur planning ke hote hai, agar ye sab kar lete to ye naubat kyon aati , so new sim idea is not suitable for them,,,[ Murder film me  yahi to tha aur aisa hi hota hai ]

only suitable way is either leave husband or boy friend dono ko ye naari manage nahi kar payegi haaan pati vrata ka rasta agar chod de to 1oooooo ko manage kar sakti hai... choice iski hai.... 1 boy friend ki jagah 1oooooo baithe hai.....


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