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Karan (Engineer)     11 October 2013

Marriage failed & seeking advise to go for divorce

Hi Experts,I had married 6 years ago, it was arranged marriage. we were leaving in her hometown as it was my job location. we two were leaving only as my parents & siblings were at my native place. still my wife's & her family approach to me & my life was not satisfactory. they were expecting control over me including financial. their ways of living was never as per my expectations. due to such behaviour from wife & her family I was not happy with my marriage as we were having regular fight & I was failed to change my wife's nature. she had neven given importance to my family or rather me. later after 4 years of marriage we got a baby & after that I saw that their nature got worsen. since last 3-4 months she has gone to her parents & asking that only if I will give her complete control than only she will settle down the relationship. even I was also never happy with the relationship but somehow I was carrying it as i didn't wanted to loose my job. after my baby's birth they are coming hard & as my baby is my weakness they are trying to exploit & snatch the control over me. i have decided now that I won't be able to live with her & wants to take divorce & custody of my child at any cost. I am also suspecting that sooner I may face 498a from them or even they may try to attack me from their political resources. kindly suggest & guide me so that I can save my rest of the life from them & also of my baby. thanks in advance. BR//



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 10 Replies

Karan (Engineer)     11 October 2013

Hi experts,

Anticipating for your earliest help, pls confirm if you got the issue I am facing or any query. BR//

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate )     11 October 2013

1. I will never suggest you to go for divorce , try to reconcile the matter involving some of your elders from both sides , 2. try you both to change yourself ,don't put ego in any condition . 3. nobody can control forcefully to any body in family, only love , faith and sacrifice are the factors which give you power to make somebody yours .

(Guest)

@ Author,


1. In your 6 years of marriage if you were not satisfied at initial stages and even after 2 years of marriage you have noticed such differences then what made you to produce the child.


2. This is where The indian couple are not rationale in their decisions. "Yarr agar takleef hai starting se toh bacche paida karke us bacche ko kyon takleef dena"


3. Now all the maturity has been sucked and all the game has been played and now you have to get divorce from her.......very good.(shame on the couples)


4. Anyway's you need freedom as every man on the earth needs freedom for peace and prosperity. So,divorce in India is like a chinese war where alway's a sensitive issues arises even after the war's.


5. In your case you have to built two grounds for geting divorce i.e Desertion for 2 years or Mental cruelity of undoubtful chracter. Whoever comes first , choose those ground and file for divorce U/s 13 HMA 1955.


6. For child custody it will be decided by Guardian and wardship act .Whoever fit for the betterment and proper  wellfare of child will have his/her custody.


7. But my sincere advice to you is have a amicable and soughtful talk with her and try to resolve your marriage. Convince her that her family is only you,me and our child and not her parent's after marriage. So, better concentrate on our future , our child's future,don't ruin them. and then see what's her say on this.....


8. If not agreed then File for U/s-9 Hma and give a pause and to define her cause as why she is not able to perform her conjugal duties.


9. In your case it will be better if you start with RCR, as denial of conjugal right's will cause you to proove the certain desertion by her and you can use it on her further maintenance petition to counter her claims and even use it for divorce once you got the decree and she not joined you after one year of the said decree.


10. To end the relationship you have 3 options but to resolved the relationship you have only one option and that is amicable talk,shower of love to your child and your wife and try to put the circumstances where she will feel that what she wrong she is doing.


Best of luck.

Karan (Engineer)     11 October 2013

Thank you sir for your direction.

1.You are right sir, one should not produce child even if he senses some differences. it happened as we were hopeful & were not expecting such greedy family as her/hers, I was't in condition to loose my job. also she was not conceiving so there was huge pressure on me to prove my potency.

2. Amicable and soughtful talks were made many times in last 6 years even between elders. After birth of my baby they have changed completely & this is because wife is the problem & she is influencing her family against me to get what she wants from me. She is so lezy that even she used to scold & push my 1.5 year baby to learn to pee only in bathroom else she used to punish her. she has never follow my culture & hated my family members since begining, never been to my place more than 2-3 days in a year. 

3.I want peace & happiness in my family so I may accept if she changes, I have lost hope now & so decided to quit else it will be more late. I have not seen my baby since 3 months now. if I leave ego & my family behind than also our relation was not having that bonding which a married couple should have. BR//


(Guest)

Then follow the Ponit No. 5 & 6 as mentioned above.

Karan (Engineer)     11 October 2013

Sir, can you help me to get & understand conjugal duties of hunband & wife as per hindu marriage law. rgds.

Karan (Engineer)     11 October 2013

thanks for your reply sir,

For getting divorce i.e Desertion for 2 years I have to wait for almost 2 or more years.

Also my case is related to Mental cruelty of undoubtful character, as I am suffering disconnection with my child now.

After understanding conjugal duties I will definitely go for RCR.

rgds,

Karan (Engineer)     11 October 2013

hi...thanks for your reply...you won't believe my wife & her family are exceptions...they have superiority complex. wife doesn't give importance to me & my child rather always ready to sacrify us for her family & relative. time spent with her was miserable I need to be relived from them now & will do anything to get my child from them. I am alone ready to take care of my child for forever. love & affection between her & me or my child can never develop, I have tried every possible way. pls guide.

vijay (M)     11 October 2013

when you go knockingfor justice, bear in mind the default settings of the system here.

every soorpnakha is  a sita even if proved otherwise.

every ram is a ravana even if proved otherwise.

2 Like

Karan (Engineer)     13 October 2013

hi experts, pls help me to understand conjugal duties or a husband & wife as per hindu marriage law.

I have found some on internet, pls comment from your end & add if something is missed.

  1. Participate in the creation of progeny
  2. Work for the welfare of the family members.
  3. Respect the Hindu dharma and family traditions by performing the obligatory duties, various samskars and rituals.
  4. Perform devotional services, charitable works and other morally and spiritual uplifting activities.
  5. Serve the gods, earthly beings, the ancestors and the dependent parents and relationships.
  6. Look after each other through thick and thin.
  7. Assist each other in their spiritual progress and work for each other's salvation.

also help me to understand if wife is having marital obligations for in-laws too as per law. also if some cruelty I have seen against my child from my wife than how can I prove it if sufficient evidences are not available??


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