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vishal (service)     26 September 2013

Marriage issue

Dear Sir,

 

My name is Vishal.I got married 2 years back.It was an arrange marriage.

 

My wife is an only child of her parents.We live in Bangalore.Now she wants me call her parents all the time.whenever we visit our home town in Kerala she wants me to stay at her place,which I don't like to .

 

Her father was working in Gulf country for 20 years.

 

Now the situation has become even worse,I came to know that her parents do not have enough money for retirement and now my wife expects me support her parents financially which I am not prepared for.I am not interested in their property.

 

Their family did not disclose all her financial issues with our family.She is not working niether is she getting a job.She is a microbiologist by profession.Her family problems are taking a toll in our married life.I have a feeling of being cheated.They did not disclose their expectations before the marriage.

I am ok if my wife supports her parents after she gets a job.

 

I want to know whether I am liable to support my in-laws financially or can I take a legal action.Or is divorce is the legal option?



Learning

 11 Replies

V R SHROFF (Sr. ADVOCATE Bombay High Court Mob: 9892432152)     26 September 2013

Life partners must share Everything including both's parents. 

u r lucky to have entire property of your wife; so keep cool, and do needful. 

Your wife being only child, u hcv to be with her, and she hv to be with her parents. 

Both the side of coin goes together/ come together. U can't separate Duty and Liability. 

 

Nothing is good or bad in the world. We have to change our thinking. 

 

WIFE have to live with husband's parent Lifetime:.

Why can't you live with wife's parents for few days?? 

Cultivate that habit to save your relationship and Family. 

 

Nobody Loose. Sacrify something for your Wife, with smile. It is her genuine need too. Don't be too selfish. 

To my personal observation: Keralite  girls improves the Life standard, forward, Educated, Wise thinking, and prosper their husband. A good choice, compared to other parts of India. 

So have patience and accomodat her genuine need. consider her parents as part of your life. 

 

2 Like

get_strong (engineer)     26 September 2013

well said shroff...

than thinking legally, its better you think emotionally.Convince your wife to seek a job, and wait till she gets a job, and let her take care of her family needs.If you doesnot like still you can communicate it with her. divorce is not the only reason

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate )     26 September 2013

1.Mr.shroff had given to you very informative ,social and intellectual suggestion regarding your querry. Your wife is by profession a microbiologist and if she gets a better job and let a suppose you and your family became in worse position and then obviously you need help from your wife and she refuses to help them , then what will happen think........... 2. Regarding your thinking for giving divorce to her, then forget it, IT is not so easy as you are thinking ,once you proceed you will see all the stars in The daylight.what you think you will torture her and she will not respond you. 3. So became a good and caring husband help your wife in facing to come out her family in worse situation. You both have moral duties to look after each other parents,not to go for divorce.

vishal (service)     27 September 2013

Thank you experts,

But the issue here is I have a feeling of being cheated.They did not inform us of their financial health before marriage.

With my present salary I cannot afford to support them financially.I have a home loan to be paid.My parents are against me supporting my wife's parents.

To save my marriage can I have this arrangement?Can I ask my wife to work and support her parents financially?

vishal (service)     28 September 2013

But in my case they did not inform us about their financial health,and now they expect me to stay with them and take care of their financial needs.

Now I feel like i am cheated.

Am i leagally bound to support my wife's family?


(Guest)

@ Author,


I agree with "Being cheated in once marriage is a hell about paradise" .....


But it's ironical to comment here that cheating has held you in trouble and deprived your happiness,If so,then go by following things:


1. Ask your wife to be prepared to do job to sort out this financial crisis.


2. Being in tension is not better than searching a commendable job for her at right of this moment.


3. If you have a child and marriage has gone for 2 year's then it's not a time to go back for reverse.


4. Fix your financial issues with their parent's and ask them to know the exact condition which is prevailing.


5. Your wife and parent's can put their properties or asset's on income if such a harsh financial crisis is their,It's not a good thing that he parent's have their source income through other modes but then also interfering in your marital life.


6. If she is the only child of her parent's then I don't think that any issues will be there,As after 60 no body retires without having anything in their hand,so, it's contrary to say that they are going on the road of bankcrupcy if you won't help them.


7. Keep a balancing attitude to implicate harmony and handle the situation wisely.



(Guest)

Vishal u r being selfish ..today u may be in a better position financially so ur wife must be expecting u to help her parents ..and her expectations are not very wrong ..it seems that ur wife's financial status was the sole criteria for u to marry , when u say that u feel cheated ! 

vishal (service)     29 September 2013

I did not have wife's family's money or property in my mind while getting married to be honest.

I am willing to let go off all her property.I am not at all interested in her family;s wealth.I can ask her to get a job and take care of her parents financially and I will take care of my parents financially,this way we both can share the responsiblities,however I think this is extreamely unreasonable when she expects me to stay at her place.I have no problem if she gives her entire salary to her parents but she should not expect me to treat her parents like i treat my parents.I don't expect her to treat my parents like she treats her parents.when she has all kind of expectations from me then i think..."hey this is not what is signed up for"...I don't want to go splitsville but their is certain kind of peace in my marriage.also I want to know whether am i legally bound to help her parents financially?if she can do it with her own salary i am ok.


(Guest)

If ur inlaws are in real financial crisis and need ur financial support for sometime it's no harm in doing so ,although legally u are not bound in any ways ..it's no good spoiling ur relationship with ur wife for any of her genuine financial crisis  and if its a matter of few months ..there are wives who are adulterous ,greedy who only marry to mince money ..I don't feel ur wife belongs to this breed atleast!

vishal (service)     08 October 2013

My wife's family expected that after marriage I will be supporting them financially,which they never told me before marriage.I don't know what to do.

Samir N (General Queries) (Business)     09 October 2013

If the problems you are describing are ALL the problems that you have encountered in your marriage, then you are a very LUCKY person! You will not be able to get divorce based upon these allegations and you will be stupid to try for one. PLEASE do not ask an advocate in your area for his opinion in this matter. He will suggest all possible ways to complicate your matter, file legal notices, etc. and destroy your marriage to a point that the two of you will be left with no choice but to head for divorce. So, be careful as most of the advocates are RASCALS. However, one of the Advocate in this thread has given you sound advice. Follow it. 


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