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Rita---------- (T)     29 March 2013

Woman gets in from mutual consent

my husband wants a mutual consent divorce from me.I have a childof 4yrs. He is not interested in her upbringing. So far his parents stayed with us. twice he has sent me notice to go for mutual consent.so far a lot has happened.I have done lot of police cases against him. He also must have done false police complaints . first they tried to prove tht I am mad so tht he easily gets divorce.tht he was not able to do so.then his parents tried to harass me. he wud not sleep in the same room with some or other reasons.He wud abuse me in front of my child.he is having affair with another woman.not much proof tht I have.abt their chat and some mails.hotel bills would not say tht they were together.he accuses me with some or the other things saying that you dont send sms to my father to ask for money as they have now shifterd a little further.Since then they have not come to meet us.but my husband goes and meet them.They all go out together and enjoy.and now my question is since I am also earning. After going through all this can I ask a divorce and maintenance.or only maitenance.we hv a flat in both's name whose EMI he is paying.How much % of house can I get and maientance for my child?In mutual consent wht shud I ask from him.Do I need to pay EMI or ask him to transfer the house in my name and without anyone's intrference allow me and my child to stay there.He is actually not a human who doesnot love his own child.Please help.



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 27 Replies

ragz hyder (PM)     29 March 2013

Your parents and he hangout and enjoy after they moved a little further? He asks you to sms your father for more money?

AV Bagur Advocate (Advocate )     30 March 2013

 

Dear Pari,

From what you have stated above I can only feel very sorry for you.  Who advised you to file lots of police cases against your husband and still expect him to be a epitome of humane kindness towards you and the child?  What would be consequences on attaining adult hood, the child holds you vicariously responsible, if not wholly responsible,  for depriving her of her fundamental  right to fatherly love,  and she (the child) takes action against you ? Do you expect any Court to refuse decree of divorce to your husband if he were to take the stand that after humiliating him and his parents the marriage has broken down irretrievably? 

 

Please talk to elders in your family and that of your husband's. See if some thing can be salvaged by discussions and consultations.  If nothing works out, mutual consent would be the best option. Set a good example to the small child of going to inspiring places than to advocates and Courts.

stanley (Freedom)     30 March 2013

@ author 

your biggest mistake is filing lots of cases and do you expect the relation ship to work . 

a.  Maintanence for the child is co- extensive and both have to contribute for it 

b.  As for the flat which is in joint names either party has to prove their respective shares and the contributions made towards the same and the same can be purchased by either party in proportion to their respective shares as per the market value or can be disposed off and the proceeds can be distributed in proportion to their respective contributions towards it  .

Rita---------- (T)     30 March 2013

Hi

He is not a human-I thut I dont need to explain .but it is a man's world.So let me tell you since the time my child was born,my husband has only thut him as an toy for his entertainment,he has not taken of him all the time my child has remain sick, she is always sick.hospitalised twice .she had undergone some therapy which husband didnot bother to do anything. Ihad taken months of leave for her therapy.My hsband didnot even come once. before that I had taken 1 yr leave when she was born. He has not taught her to walk or do any of the father's duty never of a husband.The joke is that he was arguing with me about my child's weight when we went to a therapist for my child.the doctor understood that he doesnot know anything about my child.All questions were answered by me.He has behaved as if I got this child from my parents house.Do I need to write more what I mean by He is not human.A father who snatches laptop from his child's hand.Who runs away from home when his child is sick and needs the most.Who has never taken her out of the house to play?I have been a single parent though not divorced since the time of child's birth.Thanks to being Indian and Hindu!(I dont think I want to explain that ,you can ask my high profile father in law).What is wrong in asking father in law for money when is a billionare.

I just wrote a gist of what happened .

Someone told me I should not complain to the police ,even if he strangles my neck in front of his parents.Is it a joke for you guys.No wonder if people like you would be judges then rape victims will be punished for being woman.Shame on you.

stanley (Freedom)     30 March 2013

@ Author 

When the relation ship does not work out the opposite spouse comes with all sort of fairy tale stories . 

1. Husband is a physco, alcoholic rapist padepholic and the word is spread to all of society :-) .

2. i have noticed that you potary yourself as very smart as stated above as you have answered all the questions of the doctor .Hence why seek over here handle your issues in a similar manner .

3. Father in law is not liable to pay you maintanence .But your husband is liable to pay maintanence for your child and that to it is co-extensive as both of you are earning . 

 @ lady now it would be better if you stop farting around and highlighting rape victims which is irrevalent to the subject as though it never existed before as your criteria is just to abstract the property and money and you dont seem to heed the advise given above hence there is no point trying to justify .

 

Rita---------- (T)     30 March 2013

pls read carefully.

Rita---------- (T)     30 March 2013

Thanks for your valuable help.All the 5 points are very helpful.

Also what you wrote about father. I wanted that to happen.I see other kids playing with their dad ,I had to play with my child cause his father was enjoying with his girlfriend all the time.Talks to her late in the night ,dinners and parties and movies and what not.Asked him so many times to take the child out.But tht never happened. I was forced to work  cause he never wanted to maintain me.I feel sorry that she is born in such a cheap family where his father's parents allow his son to enjoy ,and I have to babysit my child since she is born.husband is not helping and ignoring his child I sought his father's help.Bache ko bada bhi karo aur gali bhi suno!I dont think it is a  Hindu mother's duty to raise a child and earn also.Father is also responsible to give a proper upbringing and not just provide money .Cant equate father's love (which never came) with money. yes if he is not ready to do help with the child  upbringing then he needs to altleast provide money.

 

dont assume that since u kept the child in ur womb, u r the whole and sole owner of the baby, very human and got all care.

the father is also as important as the mother. father's role is not just providing money. if u think, u can take money as maintenance or ur r working, so u shld be able to give ur baby a good upbrining.. u r wrong. Dont equate father to money..

 

I came to know what a hindu woman gets in India.

Ratnesh kumar (Advocate)     30 March 2013

hello pari.

i had gone through your story and `found that there are only few options left in your case..
since you both are in a stage where you can not reconcile .. so my advice would be

1)you should file a mutual divoerce and before that u can negotiate the terms and conditioned of the divoerce that will be the u pepole to decide

2)your husband is liable to maintain his child so if u will ask for maintainece you can get it for ur child only , you can not get maintainece since you are working but you can get alimony.

3)you are the joint owner of flat so the right of staying in the flat is equal of y0our husband..

thanks and regards

ratnesh

advocate

09334185956,09835450455

Rita---------- (T)     30 March 2013

Thanks Ratnesh for your advise

Can I ask him that

a.i am ready to pay the half share of maientance and that of EMi,so that i can claim for my equal rights to the house and same for my child.

.b. I dont want anything for myself. Only a roof for my living which I have eqal rights and half mainteneace for my child.

Let me ask this in Hindi(usko mujhe gar ka half rights dena hi padega or I will have to request  him during Mutually agreeing and if he doesnot agree ,contest it.) He didnot ask me for EMI ,but I had paid some amt to the bank and most of time we had given the house on rent .His parents wanted us to shift there but he didnot want to do so.so I didnot allow to put it for rent later on as I also wantedto move from his parents house to my own house.Can I ask him that you allow me to stay in that house with my child and apply points a and  b.Please guide.

Regards,Pari

Ranee....... (NA)     30 March 2013

yes you can.You may keep this condition before him. It is his duty to give shelter to you.

Ranee....... (NA)     30 March 2013

@author, learn to digest some advice that you have got here.Every woman has to undergo such a phase here as those advisers see the wives' faces in her face (querist)!

Pooja_____ (HR)     30 March 2013

You demand shelter and monthly maintenance for the daughter. The home is under joint name of you and him. You can ask him to convert in joint name of you and daughter.

If your father-in-law is a billionaire then son of a billionaire must provide shelter and education expenses to his own daughter.

Rita---------- (T)     30 March 2013

@ parora

Thanks for valuable adivse. But the problem arises only when he has to remove money from his pocket.that time  the whole family becomes garib .We have maids and driver in this matrimonial house where I stay but when my child's education or any thing related to money comes they turn  into the poorest of poor. The law just sees husband's salary not of a rich millionare father in law. And now from few months his parents are not staying with us. So he is paying the bills of the matrimonial house belonging to my rich FIL. to prove that how will he have any money  left for the child after paying all the bills of a big house.So far he was not paying any bills of this house. All bill paying and maientenance was done thru his govt employed rich father.This people are hi fi with a lavish lifestyle.but poor attitude towards their own grand child.

I just want to fight for my rights peacfully. Marriage is not a game. you are done with it ,you leave it like you leave the game. I dont need to do a job also that rich this people are. But to harass me mentally so that I leave their house and my husband can enjoy his lavish lifestyle freely .He is under the adivse of very high profile lawyer whose name appears in newspaper I am not worried about it though.got used to it now.

I dont want to fight over in the court.he has got lot of influence. What ever I can get is probably through mutual consent that is what I feel through this forum.

Thanks again for everyone's advise here.

rajiv_lodha (zz)     30 March 2013

Keep ur aims REALISTIC if u want a peaceful end to this relationship. Honor his genuine demands while u ask for ur rights, so that things are finished timely & with much less mental trauma, at least for the child

1) pay ur side of dues for the falt & half of it belongs to u, nobody can remove u from ur holding this way

2) if u keep the child, provide LIBERAL VISITATION RIGHTS to him (if he demands)

3) ask for realistic alimony, child-maint.

4) return his gold n valuables, ask for urs

I know its hard to believe that BEING A GIRL WITH ALL LEGAL PROTECTION & BIASED LAWS OF THIS COUNTRY, HOW COME I LET HIM GO THIS EASILY!..........but dear, remember, u wil not be able to extort more! better lead a peaceful life ahead

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