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sudharani (mbbs)     30 March 2013

Marriage issue

hello,

this is sudha i have got married 3months back[arranged marriage].after marriage my aunt  started harrasing for dowry.my husband doesnot speak a word before his mom.im a student preparing for pg.his mother is uneducated.my husbands brotherin law also brings disputes among us.i concevied 20days back.his mom beat me and pushed me out of their house and it got aborted.my husband didnt even come to see me.pls give me a valuable suggestion regarding my problem

thanks,



Learning

 14 Replies


(Guest)
Originally posted by : sudharani

hello,

this is sudha i have got married 3months back[arranged marriage].after marriage my aunt  started harrasing for dowry.my husband doesnot speak a word before his mom.im a student preparing for pg.his mother is uneducated.my husbands brotherin law also brings disputes among us.i concevied 20days back.his mom beat me and pushed me out of their house and it got aborted.my husband didnt even come to see me.pls give me a valuable suggestion regarding my problem

thanks,


It is unclear whether it is your aunt or it is your mother in law.


It is unclear as to what you plan to do.


In such case how could you expect any suggestion?

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     30 March 2013

Beating resulting in abortion may be punishable either by one year's imprisonment for intentionally causing simple hurt, or by seven years' imprisonment for intentionally causing serious hurt. If any torture is done by the husband or his family members, which is directly related to a dowry demand, then section 498a of IPC is applicable.

www.mehnat.in

1 Like

sudharani (mbbs)     30 March 2013

Aunt means my mother in law.Im fed up with such a irresponsible husband.Im 23yrs old.He does even value me my family.He is not even answering my cals.

                                 Im thinking of leaving him because i still have my education(MBBS) to complete.If i go back my mother in law does even alow me to attend classes and she is abusing  me with illict relationships.In case is there any chance of staying with my husband without  her.

sudharani (mbbs)     30 March 2013

Aunt means my mother in law.Im fed up with such a irresponsible husband.Im 23yrs old.He does even value me my family.He is not even answering my cals.

                                 Im thinking of leaving him because i still have my education(MBBS) to complete.If i go back my mother in law does even alow me to attend classes and she is abusing  me with illict relationships.In case is there any chance of staying with my husband without  her. My husband is a software employee.30yrs old.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : sudharani

Aunt means my mother in law.Im fed up with such a irresponsible husband.Im 23yrs old.He does even value me my family.He is not even answering my cals.

                                 Im thinking of leaving him because i still have my education(MBBS) to complete.If i go back my mother in law does even alow me to attend classes and she is abusing  me with illict relationships.In case is there any chance of staying with my husband without  her.


Pehli baat toh yeh ki aap dono side ki story leke nahi aate, not just you, but majority of them come with one side of the story, they beat me black and blue, throw me out of house, husband is villain, MIL is monster, FIL is a devil. My marriage is hell. Now coming to advice part: There are good people, and there are bad people. These people your MIL or husband are bad people according to what you have told.


What you can do is, file for divorce and ask for MCD to your husband.


Why I do not suggest you to file a criminal complaint against your in-laws or your husband is only for the reason that, after giong through physical harrasment it would be bringing upon yourself mental harrasment by filing such criminal cases.

Even if your husband realizes his mistake or your MIL realizes her mistake etc, and somehow convinces you to take back such cases and that we will jolly well live together by forgetting the past, it wont be the same again, getting arrested. in remand, etc will have a deep impact on anybody, be it innocent or be it not that innocent.  People who have beat you, might also want to kill you, if you take back cases and believe them that they have changed, due to grudge they have as you had put such criminal cases against them..

 

And these cases drain out energy, time, money, [of both parties] and by the end of it, whether they are punished or not etc, you will be drained out mentally, and you would never want to marry again, even if you did, you wont be normal ever again, after filing such cases.


I have full sympathy with  you wrt your abortion.


Filing for mutual consent divorce would be the best option when people start punching and throwing blows at each other, for whatever reason they feel correct, as its best to part ways as gentleman than to carry on the harrasment process for years together.


GET MCD, complete your MBBS, start afresh.  There is a long life waiting for you ahead.

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     30 March 2013

File criminal complaints against your in-laws if you wish to get out of this marriage and you wish to punish them instead of leaving this responsibility to God. If your husband is not answering your calls then he is no longer interested in you. Apply for divorce. The dowry demand allegation which you are making is a standard allegation, so I cannot believe it outright, and neither will the courts. The abortion matter is more serious. But your statements are not clear. First you say that you are preparing for PG then you say that MBBS is not yet complete.

www.mehnat.in

sudharani (mbbs)     30 March 2013

i recently completed mbbs and im preparing for pg . im asking u that is there any right for me to stay with my husband without my my in law because the main problem is her telling my husband and my husband acts like a pupet in her hands.he knew everything but cant speak a word before her. he was just watching her beating me.im annoyed with his negligence,irresposibility.he is not even answering my calls.what r the rights as a wife do i have?is mcd only solution 


(Guest)
Originally posted by : sudharani

i recently completed mbbs and im preparing for pg . im asking u that is there any right for me to stay with my husband without my my in law because the main problem is her telling my husband and my husband acts like a pupet in her hands.he knew everything but cant speak a word before her. he was just watching her beating me.im annoyed with his negligence,irresposibility.he is not even answering my calls.what r the rights as a wife do i have?is mcd only solution 

 

I wish you good luck with your PG studies.


When you take the word RIGHT, there comes restitution of conjugal rights, which you could file, but your husband should be willing to joini you in the first place, no chance that you could go back to matrimonial home and ask MIL to get out.


IN the given case, there are no much chances for you to get back your husband, though many would suggest various means, those as I said are all  time consuming and the marriage will be as good as dead once you file any cases against your husband or in-laws, making you dig your own grave.


Having said that, as I suggested, the most decent way out is go for MCD, if husband does not agree for MCD, anyway the marriage is broken due to no respect from your husband towards the relationship of husband and wife, you coudl as well follow Manishji ka advice of threatening to put false cases, if they dont agree for MCD.



Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     30 March 2013

Go to the police station and tell them about this assault which led to the abortion. Tell them not to register a complaint.  Do not give them anything in writing. Let them call your mother-in-law and scare her. Tell her you will not file a written complaint if she leaves you and her son alone. Do this only if you are willing to have a genuine and loving relationship with your husband after the police helps you to live separately.

Another idea would be ignore my advice and go to the CAW Cell and ask them to provide you some advice.

www.mehnat.in

rajiv_lodha (zz)     30 March 2013

1) MCD can not happen b4 one yr of marriage, ur marriage is just 3 months old

2) No law forces a husband to live with his wife, at the most husband has to provide money & shelter to u. He cant be forced to cohabit with u in that shelter

Many things hard to believe in ur story:

1) A 3 month newly-wed BEATEN BY MIL?? I think a lady in her twenties (a doctor indeed) may very well overpower a lady in her fifties,  When husband is a mute spectator, what with-held u from protecting ur self from such a beating!

2) Ur husband is so moron that he is PUPPET & KEPT ON WATCHING THIS BRIDE-BEATING, and u say so many bad things about him in a single breath.........THEN WHY ON EARTH U STIL WANT TO LIVE WITH HIM

So lady, tell us all......what is truth?

sudharani (mbbs)     31 March 2013

my husband does speak when his mother talks not when i answer her back.he indeed wil be asking me[when im alone] to compromise every time his mother fights with me.he acts differently when he stays with mother and when im alone with him.

And my mil with her daughter,daughters husband,my husbands brother all plan to move me away from my husband.and my husband is a very gud listener of their words.until before my marriage my husband used to spend a lot of money for them but after marriage they thought im hurdle for them .he is working since 7yrs and does have a single saving uptil now.my mil doesnt wanted an educated girl but it was my hubands interest to marry a educated gal.pehli 2months i was calm doing wat ever she wanted i was doing every thing at home cooking etc but when i had classes i couldnt manage al those so i got a helper, my in law scolded her and pushed her out.but my huband is educated he could atleast understand me?


(Guest)

Trust me lady all men and their mothers are all morons, you are destined to be single.

Courts only can satisfy your ego, so run behind them before it becomes too late.

I can see your fate in 70mm. Your dad spent lakhs and lakhs to see you as a divorcee.

 

Do you know how to deal with your own ego? Na

atleast do you hav the skill to kill other's ego? Na then what you got? For you everyone is a puppet

and you are bl**dy damn good at judging. In 3months you have grown too old for your age.


(Guest)

Ranee....... (NA)     31 March 2013

The abortion you had may have a permanent impact on your body.Many doctors says first baby if aborted there is difficulty in conceiving again.You will know better as a medical student.This is not easy and simple matter beating you to this extent.You have full right and duty to punish them and according to me you should file criminal case on them.They deserve punishment.


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