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(Guest)

Fiance cheated and breaking up with false allegation

Respected all,

I am posting here to get advise on the bad situation I am going through in a troubled relationship.

I met Vikram in my last company in Hyderabad.We gel up well and within a short span we got into a relationship.Gradually I realised that I truly heartly fell in love with guy and seriously want to spend my life with him.

Even he shared the same quotient and proposed me to get married and he loved me.He has a bad drinking habits,chain smoking and going out with friends whole night that kind of habits.

I pushed him to gave a name to this relation but like other guys he was reluctant for commitment.He told me he had many relations in past.Now it's been 3yrs we are in relation and shared a deal in life.

Finaly our parents met and talked about wedding.Engaged infront of parents.No ring exchange.Everyone in family and friends know about it.

He changed later , we took few months to get settled well.He stared later taking me as burden,he was expecting dowry being a telegu guy but my stand was clear from beginning, so he keep taunting me asking as if you are going to bring dowry why you are talking about house buying,car etc.

Now he is making excuses not meeting me,not picking my call,saying cant mary u because I cant stay hapy with you ,his parents also doing every posible thing to take his mind off me.He is being selfish,going dubai so planing to ditch me in the due course.His parents supports him a lt even when he is grossly wrong person.I am very dedicated to this guy and loves him no matter how much he troubles me.He put a condition that I have to be under his feet always if I  realy want to mary for which I got shattered and said no.

I am crying every day and in so much of pain.But he has become hearttles.Forgot the space we shared and what all I did fo him,his family and friends.I wonder how he become so heartles ,

Please advice its a very critical and painful phase for me.I cant bear the way he rejected me giving silly excuse.

My people said he does not deserve your love and attention but is it okay to just let go that Guy.He will do the same things with other gals as well.People will come us ,take advantage have fun time and once they dont feel like any more will leave gal crying and move on?

 

Please advice.

 



Learning

 14 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     24 March 2013

You should be able to pick one advice out of below two yourself;

Option 1 – Forget and move on with life.
Pros. – One forgets faster bad relationship phase and moves on with once life faster realizing love is never permanent and it always takes two to make a relationship work out.
Cons. – Though one can forget but takes long time to forgive h/er partner hence unknowingly gets influenced and generaly opts for option 2.

 

Option 2 – Take a cue from below 2 day old case of Delhi if all sound advises that you say you got have to be ignored;

https://www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/Woman-files-fake-rape-complaint-to-get-married/Article1-1030725.aspx

Pros. - The CrPC Amendment 2012 which is now a Law gives this much empowerment to women.

Cons. - Adversial law is not for chickens; it should be serviced until its logical conclusions.

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     24 March 2013

Forget him and move on. He is already suffering due to his addictions.

www.mehnat.in


(Guest)

Manish Sir,

Thank you for the quick response and advise.

It is very painful for me to move though I am trying hard every moment.

What about thier family who si taking their side in all his bad.My family already insulted because of this cycle.Now he is enjoying with friends and going to Dubai for his office work.He already got a criminal case from UK where he was studying for which he can nevenr go back to the country.I get to know about this much later.I want to realy punish and stop his flying abroad or doing any job in India.When he will be with no money and reputation then he will realsie humanity I guess.

Please let me know if I think wrongly.

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     24 March 2013

Sangita ji

There is the question of proportionate response. You may send him to jail on rape and cheating charges. He will get from 7 to 14 years in jail. From your point of view, this will be punishment for him. But his life will utterly destroyed, he will be finished totally. And not only his life, but the life of his parents will be finished. A family will be annihilated by the unstoppable force of the law.

 

Do you think this is a proportionate response for his wasting your time and using your emotions and body (in which you also enjoyed pleasurable feelings of body and mind)? What would you have done if he had been sincere in his promise to marry you but had died all of a sudden? Who would you have punished?

 

I have had many of my wives and many women leave me after using me emotionally and not finding me fit enough to measure up to their requirement. As a result of being used by these women, at the age of 42 years I am single and childless. By your logic, I should have killed some of these women, since the law in India does not permit me to punish them for using me emotionally.

www.mehnat.in


(Guest)

Manish Sir,

So in this scenario I should not react at all or make him realise his fault and take the pain I am going through as I also enjoyed whatever time he has given me in past.

Is this what you are concluding in your advise.

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     24 March 2013

I have said what I wanted to say. You do what you want to do.

www.mehnat.in


(Guest)

Bahuto dekhe...


There would be a few things I'd want to tell you.


There are people who can act, and how, you could never make out who they really are.


There are people who act, and how, out of love, not letting go and not letting know for they may hurt the other person.


There are people who act, but cannot do it for a long time, and eventually show their true self.


You should be thankful to God, that you and your parents came to know about this guy quite early of the actual person he is.


I am not saying that there is no legal recourse for people like you where you want to get justice [see the guy in question behind bars etc]  But those legal courses will take away lot of time and money and also enlist you in the black list where a girl before getting married had filed such and such case against wouldbe.  Even if we think that you will be able to punish him according to law, you wont be marrying him, so you'd have to look for someone else, and that someone else would definitely be scared to death about you, as people who file cases against wouldbe are seen as a threat, so you will end up having lesser options, go weaker in mind due to past experience, and prefer to stay single.


If you are not taking any of the legal actions as described above, you can as well be more cautious in choosing your partner in the future.


My advice to you would be that you forget this idiotic guy and move ahead in life. 

Ratnesh kumar (Advocate)     24 March 2013

There is only two way out sangita first as everybody have told u too move forward....

second is to file a criminal case since having a relation with any lady in trust of marraige also amounts to rape..

now the choice is yours..

but to destroy some one will also take your time tooo...

ratnesh kumar

advoca

09334185956,09835450455

Ranee....... (NA)     24 March 2013

agree with @Helpinghand. dont waste time for this guy.

Ranee....... (NA)     24 March 2013

agree with @Helpinghand. dont waste time for this guy.

vijay (M)     24 March 2013

having relationship with promise of marriage tantamounts to rape??  this is difficult to digest...   while having relationship was the woman, not adult enough to understand that what she is getting into it.  suppose a boy did intend to marry some one and had relationship, and then found out something abt the woman which he did not like and decides to call it off.  then it tantamounts to rape.  this is crap

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     24 March 2013

This is crap but this is the system here, our crap system.

www.mehnat.in

1 Like

Manish Udar (www.Mehnat.IN)     24 March 2013

ACCORDING TO INDIAN LAW Accidental touching in crowded buses is m@lestation, refusal to marry after s@x is r@pe, harsh words exchanged is m@lestation, looking at a woman in a mini skirt is voyeurism, staring at a woman is a m@lestation bid, sending sms is stalking, consensual s@x between 17 year olds is r@pe. Everything is r@pe and everything is obscene.

1 Like

(Guest)

I would like to heartly thank each and everyone for taking out valuable time for me and advise me so good.I got to know now how to move on now.

Thanking you

Best Regards

Sangita

1 Like

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