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Seema Sharma (sr.project lead)     13 March 2013

Is death the only option??????

My surviving domestic violence story is a twenty year journey that taught me who I am at my core, strengthened my faith, and helped form the strong person I am today. My husband could never become a good son,husband nor a good father. From day 15th of our marriage he started hitting me badly .Bashed both my eyes so badly that I am undergoing serious issues due to this. He has always been over possesive and suspecious and thought that I was his possesion. I have two sons and i went through all this trauma only on the hope that things will be fine one day.But nothing improved. He ill treated my elder son too as he was not upto his expectations. He never earned a regular income. It was always game of up and downs financially too.We stayed at my fathers home for about 14 years ..paid rent occasionally. I have been working for 13 years and somehow we managed to purchase a flat . I am the co owner in the flat.I have now separated from him because as always he threw me out of the house and this time I decided will never return back as along with me he also asked his old parents to leave the home at midnight . It was like an awakening for me from deep sleep. I saw my future and lost all the respect for him along with this he also is having an affair with a girl for the past 4 years . Our divorce case is in the court. My husband is not even helping out the kids school fees. He earns well in real estate business now but gets all money in black hence i cannot prove his income. He does not want to give my share of the flat ever. He keeps threatning to kill me or handicap me . He said this to my advocate and the family court councellor too. He is just not letting me live in peace and roams around telling everybody that I am characterless but still in the court says that he does not want a divorce.I cannot stay with him.He is also a s** maniac .He does not let me work in peace nor does he takes care of the kids. He wants alimony from me as I am working in a BPO. He asks me to join some s** clubs and stuff. Is death the only resolution for me? Please help!!!!
 



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 10 Replies

stanley (Freedom)     13 March 2013

As for your kids maintanence it is co-extensive and the two of you would have to contribute towards the same . Hasnt your advocate told you about this and why hasnt he applied for interim maintanence of your two kids ??

you have said that your marriage is 20 yrs old . But you have not stated the age of the kids ?? 

As the flat is in joint names one can buy the others share and than you can buy a new place of your own from the share you receive out of the sale .

1 Like

Seema Sharma (sr.project lead)     13 March 2013

My sons are aged 18 and 13 . I am 40 years old.

My husbands keeps telling the advocate that he does not have any money and emotionally blackmails me saying that he will stop the younger one who stays with him from going to school. He keeps sending abusive messages even after thecourt has passed an injunction order for not sending messages or cal me.

stanley (Freedom)     13 March 2013

@ author 

you have stated that " My husband could never become a good son"   Please dont expect this from him to become your son :-) 

Now for the son who has turned a major 18 yrs and is with you maintanence cannot be claimed . As the minor son is with him it is but naturally that he is taking care of him and is providing him with all the means . What he says out of anger is a different question and what he does practically is to be taken into account !!

Now you have stated that your husband conveys to the advocate that he does not have money . Where is the question of money arsing in this situtation . Your are a working women and hence you would not get any maintanence . The Major son is with you . While the minor son is with him . so where is the question of maintanence .???

As for the flat it has already been suggested above .

As for the messages you can just change your no which is a simple solution since  your advocate to whom you are paying your legal fees i presume is not guiding you as to what is to be done for the injunction order not being followed by you for which you have proof of the same on your mobile . Litigation is dirty and it takes years for a judgement to come at the cost of your time and money . 

 

1 Like

Seema Sharma (sr.project lead)     13 March 2013

I am certainly not expecting him to be my son . Anyways I understand that he my elder son is 18 years old ..so his father should not pay for his fees ? Secondly the younger one is staying with my husband but his school ,transport and others expenses are paid by me though he is staying with him.

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     13 March 2013

Son/daughter is entitled to maintenenance only upto 18 years. Whereas you can stop paying  for the second son  however if your husband also stops paying, then how your second son will get education?..  so careful decision is what needed here.

1 Like

Seema Sharma (sr.project lead)     13 March 2013

I will never abandon my kids and will do everything till my last breath but I have hopes from the court that they help me getting some money from him for the kids and my share of the flat. He has money but wants to use it n himself and his girlfriend.

stanley (Freedom)     13 March 2013

@ Author thats the spirit and keep it up :-) 

1 Like

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     13 March 2013

What kind of solid evidences you have for his adulterous behaviour.. what were allegations covered in pettition. You can PM one of the experts like tajobs  etc, they may help.

Seema Sharma (sr.project lead)     13 March 2013

Hospital records of domestic violence have been given and the allegations covered are ill treatment to my elder son ,domestic violence,defaming me and adultry. I have his recordings which states that the girl was expecting his baby and went through a miscarriage. His SMS records.The girl too had called me and abused me and said that will not let you take his single rupee.What else would I require?

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     13 March 2013

Yours is a case of living in a abusive relationship though I have not walked a mile in your shoes.

You stayed;

 

1. because you fear retribution if you earlier tried to leave.

2. because it was all so familiar.

3. because you are emotionaly a submissive person.

 

It is high time you walk out on below terms assisting Court to allow;

 

A. allowed option to parties for MCD

B. one time alimony to husband parting from joint property share valued at present market value

C. custody of minor child given to you.

 

Further;

 

i. maintenance to you / major child is not possible.

ii. S. 25 HMA needed to have been filed for share / partition in joint property.

iii. monetary compensation r/w restraining order on proved grounds of mental cruelties under DV Act or under Civil laws are possible.

iv. execution of above is a calculated decision you require courage r/w patience and backing of a women advocate

v. end of world as exasperation in reference to context is not possible now.

vi. hospital records are matter of long court duet, alleged bigamy r/w miscarriage, SMS + familiar alleged proofs lean to proving divorce under cruelties and not to his conviction.

vii. you have better chance of growth over him provided you move away from sightseeing of Courts quicker at this juncture of your mend years. 

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