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Anil (Software Engineer)     28 July 2009

Need an advice for taking divorce

Dear Sir/Madam,

We are married for four years but staying seperately due to few reasons as stated below after 8 months of our married life. Following are few problems I am facing.

1) My wife wants to alienate me from rest of my family members and friends.
2) Her father is hen-pecked and whose mother (Second wife - Got married to this lady after his first wife expired) dominates all family situations.
3) My wife listens to and acts in accordance with her parents’ wishes at all times,
4) My wife is hypersensitive and therefore easily gets insulted for even a simple thing
5) Blackmail (emotional or otherwise) and threats to get her unreasonable demands fulfilled by me and walks out to her parents house following an argument and stays away from me indefinitely without any effort towards reconciliation. Her parents never make any efforts to get her back to me.

After leaving the house she came up with three conditions and said that she will join me after I fulfill all of them as said below
1) Seperate family
2) No one will stay with us including my mother
3) She should not be invited for any kind of family get togethers or functions

She never bothered to inform me about her pregnancy at the time of leaving my house and came to know about it latter on from the sources. We have a baby girl and whose age is two and a half years now. She was with her mother till a couple of months back. From last couple of months I am taking care of the child.

I personally tried to convince her several ways and by several relatives. Every effort went in vain. As she never showed any interest, we have filed a mutual concent divorce in December, 2007. We were given six months of time for reconciliation. During this time I made my efforts again and fulfilled all her three conditions and during the final hearing on 6th of Oct., 2008 we withdrew the case as she promised to join me.

Later on till date she had not made any such efforts for joining me even after I setup a seperate house. On asking her about the same she emotionally blackmails me and threats me to get her unreasonable new set of demands fulfilled. If I don't do the same she just stays away from me and never makes any efforts for reconciliation.

I am totally depressed with these kind of activities of my wife.

I am no more interested in living this kind of unhealthy married life. Please suggest me how do I get seperated from her as early as possible. Can I approach Lok Adalat for the same. At the same time I am worried about this section 498 as they may take any undesired advantage of this section and harass me much more.

Also, I don't want her to claim for our baby. I don't like my baby to grow in such an environment.

She is now working for a small IT firm. Do I need to pay her the maintenance?

Please provide me the approach to overcome all these problems.
 



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 13 Replies

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     28 July 2009

You can apply for divorce under the ground CRUELTY.. having child in your care may be positive for you.. if you prove her job and salary... you need not pay maintenance...

1 Like

lawyer_rajiv (9811284735) (lawyer)     28 July 2009

better communciate with her and convince her to take divorce by mutual consent and child custody to father.  this way, you will also be able to avoid frivolous litigations and precious years of youth would be saved.

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     28 July 2009

excellent advise by Mr. Ganesh and Mr. Rajiv.Mr. Anil, please go ahead with their advise. At last God is great.

1 Like

Anil (Software Engineer)     28 July 2009

Dear Rajiv Sir,

Thanks for your valuable time and suggestion. My wife is not interested in going for the mutual consent as well as she is not sure whether to give the custody of the child to me. I kept requesting for the same from the last couple of months with no answer from her. She asks me to go ahead and do whatever I want. She is just blackmailing and confusing me by not giving any clear visibility of what she wants to do.

Hence, is the reason I want to go ahead and apply for the divorce.

Thanks & Regards,

Anil

lawyer_rajiv (9811284735) (lawyer)     28 July 2009

in that situation, you may file a petition for divorce and state the reasons for it...viz. mental or physical cruelty and at the same time, you also file a civil suit against your wife, restraining her from forcible taking the custody of your child.  the court would order that she cannot take the custody except by due procedure of law.  this way, you ll be able to save alot of harassment.

1 Like

Anil (Software Engineer)     28 July 2009

Dear Ganesan Sir,

For your information, I have never taken any dowry or nothing of that sort. We both quarrelled a couple of times before we got seperated in May, 2006 following an argument as said in my original statement. There are no major issues between my mom and my wife too. My wife just just zooms in too much for any tiny aspect.

Under these circumstances, may I please know if I file the divorce under the ground CRUELTY, is there a chance she charges me under section 498? Because I don't want my mother (My father is expired in 2001 and since then my mom is staying with me), nor any of my family members to suffer with the action I take.

Also, may I please know filing a case under section 9 of Hindu Marriage Act for Restitution of Conjugal Rights will it overcome the problem with the section 498?

Please let me know your opinion.

Thanks & Regards,
Anil

Dharmesh Manjeshwar (Advocate/Lawyer)     28 July 2009

Dear Anil. I would advise you to take every step with consensus. I see that u are also aware of the going ons of divorce proceedings ..... A mutual consent divorce would help u a lot in all matters .... but if u file for divorce proceedings .... and if the same is contested by your wife ... the issue may prolong ..... further you have a daughter who at her age needs the mother the most .... therefore I do not see any positive signs that u would be granted the custody of ur daughter ..... as far as maintenance .... if it is evident that ur wife does not have a vaild reason to stay separate and/or has sufficient means for her livelihood as per her status ... she would not be granted maintenance .... but u'd have to give maintenance to your daughter if the custody i granted to ur wife

1 Like

(Guest)

 

File a petition for restitution of conjugal rights narrating all the facts.  In all porobability she will not comply with the order which will provide you additional ground for divorce. In that back ground you may not be liable to may maintenance also.

In an identical case, where husband did not take steps to protect his interest and was sleeping over the issue, the wife went ahead a petition under DV act and obtained a maintenance of Rs.4000/- for self and daughter Rs.1500/-.  She also got an order against the husband for payment of Rent of Rs.3000/- for her seperate stay though there was no justification. Matter is pending in appeal.

So in your own interest file a petition for RCR.

1 Like

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     29 July 2009

 first you prepare for a complaint before police that You wife is going to lodge a bofus complaint as if you are asking her dowry.. then youfile divorce proceedings on the ground that cruelty on very same ground showing the child is with you..

1 Like

VIPIN SHARMA (Mob.-9610000043) (ADVOCATE)     31 July 2009

If your wife is not agree for mutual divorse than you can filr divorce petition on the ground of cruelty and desertion under Sec. 13 of Hindu Marriage Act. You can also apply for the custody of baby.

VIPIN SHARMA, Advocate

337, Akron Ka Rasta, Kishanpole Bazar, JAIPUR-302001

Mob. 9610000043

1 Like

G. ARAVINTHAN (Legal Consultant / Solicitor)     31 July 2009

 i say some different way.. you can file a Guardian Wards Application before family court, stsing that child is under your care and can gety order from court for maintenance of child.

 

Since child is with you, she can not claim any maintenance for child.

You can prove her income.. So better have enough proof and aware before each step

1 Like

Ashutosh Singh (US tax consultant.)     30 August 2009

 

Hi All,

Please note that:-

 

A) My mother resides in a property built by my dad with housing loan borrowed from SBI.  After my fathers death, my mother paid off the interest on loan from his superannuation receipts.

B) After my fathers death in 1997, since there was no will, we 3 brother (Eldest Brother was major and we 2 minor at the time of death and my mother was custodian for both of us) and my mothers were legal heirs in this property (Plz correct if I am wrong here).

C) We did not proceed to give any legal shape to ownership as everything was fine till my brother got marries in December 2006.

 

 

After my brothers marriage, things went sour from Feb 2007  and he has been contesting a divorce case and 498A case since may 2007. We soon realised that girl and her family  is interested in property mentioned in A) above when they went to the extent of break opening the lock of our house and ransacking it. Girls father against my mothers will made her daughter stay in house where this girl created whole lot of scenes and did all what could be expected. My widow mother had to go through all pains.

 

We three brother realised the motive of girl and her father and relinquished the right of property in our favour. No objection was filed by any party with 30 days of publishing in offical gazette and property was vested in my mothers name in July 2009.

 

 

Please advise  

We want to do everything possible to refrain this girl from sharing my dad’s property.

Fyi, my brother is a central govt servant and girl has been living the quarters provided to him by govt . My brother has to live outside in hotels and lodges as his lawyer has advised if my brother proceeds to ask this girl to vacate the quarter , she will try to get roders from court to move to lucknow property. Now when we have relinquished the right of property in favour of our mother  , please advise regarding the legal position.

can this girl still claim right in this property in the name of my mother.

We don’t have any property inherited from our grand father or any other source.

 

Thanks,
Ashutosh

Ashutosh Singh (US tax consultant.)     30 August 2009

Please read

>>"We three brother realised the motive of girl and her father and relinquished the right of property in our "MOTHER's" favour. No objection was filed by any party with 30 days of publishing in offical gazette and property was vested in my mothers name in July 2009."


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