Divorce query

If you do not want to give divorce, then you contest the case meticulously.  Generally in trial court the case will run between three to four years.  If he does not have sufficient grounds for divorce and his sole ground is to get married with extra-marital affair girl, he will not get it, even though in his divorce petition he puts several allegations against you - disobedient, insolent and abusive wife, in-laws interference in his matrimonial life, cruelty he has been facing every minute in the hands of his callous wife (you), your abuses against his old father and mother solely dependent upon him, your insistentence to live separately with him depriving him to stay and serve his parents .....bla....bla.  Do not fear of such wild allegations, which are quite natural in divorce petitions.  You contest the case adroitly without showing any lacunae on your part.  You will definetely succeed.

Do not file RCR, because it will not give you any releif but bring problems in future.

You are also entitled to file maintenance under Section 125 Cr.P.C. as you are housewife and your children are minors. 

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"Divorcee" word socially today is no more remains as a dirty word.

Many advocates are making this word look like alien to contemporary Indian vocabulary probably to continue receiving their professional fees yet forgetting that eventually parties will agree for divorce one way or other where facts talks about a SECOND WOMAN in man’s life.

Besides template wordings recall by Lord I see you in a shocked stage and suggestions are as follows;

1.  Contest his divorce and meanwhile file for maintenance under Civil or quasi-criminal laws.
2. If he does not get divorce then on papers both of you will remain married people. Post dismissal of his divorce (if any) from court the then social situation becomes much more worse as his heart will still remain somewhere else and you will still wear the vermillion mark for sake of society which is typical Indian face-of. Suggest to empower yourself now onwards by vocational / technical course or part time job so that inevitable transition post divorce life is adopted into.
3. If you file for RCR then it will not slow down his divorce but both cases will run parallel. If you win RCR then option is there to execute the Order but he cannot be forced to re-join matrimony. However under its execution if he has an regular income / property in his name then under RCR decree you may file of their attachment which is 'financial security' for minors and for you in future and RCR in wife’s favour is never waste of time as Lord thinks probably due to lack of experience in handling wife’s RCR (whatever).
4. If you are not a working lady then free legal aid is available to you from State. You may also apply for maintenance for yourself as well as for minors if not working.
5. So far as Mutual Consent Divorce is concerned if financial offers are good r/w child custody (visitation) and for financial security and yet re-marriage chances still there then one should not feel remorse not to grab the offer while one can. If however the financial offer are not so bright from his side then one is left with contest of case9s) and counter filing of RCR are civil ways for a wife other than experimental criminal cases if teaching him lessons is advice one is getting.
6. Accepting back a cheater is like loosing once self respect and he comes with no further guarantee too which is a life changing risk a wife has to make a call on.
Make an informed choice and grab offer coming once way while one can with little tweak here and there instead of wasting once youth in corridors of adversial Family Law of the land.

THANKYOU Tajobsindia.But I will not marry again neither will become his wife in real sense.But his mistress and he has misbehaved me many times and challenged me to get divorce and get married.So I don't want divorce and will not allow them to marry.

His conditions for mutual divorce is also not upto the mark.I am living in his house and he is living with his parents.They wish me to leave the house and go to rented house.

You do posses a revengeful and unhealthy mindset that is typical to many indian wifes! "Husband has deserted me, but I shall not let him go, just to make sure he can not live a happy life". You should realise that every human being has a right to live his life in his own way. Marriage is a social contract to lead a family life with love, respect and faithfulness. If the marriage life becomes unliveable, it is better to separate in a dignified way. That way, both of you and children will be spared from living a filthy family life, just pretending to the society to be a family. Children develop a deep psychological allergy against the institution of family life and marriage when forced to live a childhood in an unhappy family. It is better for them to live with a single separated parent than to live with parents who don't have any love or respect for each other.

do a service to you and your children, motivate yourself to live a life of your own, rather than spending all your resources just to spoil happiness of another person who was your husband. When he thinks you are not your wife, you are not. No court in this world can force him to return to you. You can still win the case and remain his legal wife. But please remember, this is unfair, and is seen as a loop in our legal system. Bill is already in place, and will become law soon, where divorce can be granted much easily if any one, husband or wife, thinks he/she can not live any more with the partner. What will you  do then.

my suggestion, most probably you will not like, is: take a positive attitude towards life, negotiate with your husband for a reasonable alimony, thank him for the good time you spent together, and part way. Also, let your children develop a respectful attitude towards their father. Why deprive them of their father?

@Lota, what your heart says do that only.

Try to reason with him. Try to get family court to order compulsory counselling by a professional psychiatrist, no less. Let the psychiatrist show him the error of his ways. You have not mentioned any dowry harassment, and you are living in his flat, so he is apparently a reasonable person to some extent. Some people may advice you to file 498a, but that is an atom bomb which will finish your marriage (already finished) and damage your future if people get to know about it. If he has committed cruelty which is not related to dowry then seek legal remedy for that. Do not stay in a dead marriage. Find a man who is willing to love you and honour you, though it may be difficult for a mother of two children.

www.mehnat.in

You do posses a revengeful and unhealthy mindset that is typical to many indian wifes! "Husband has deserted me, but I shall not let him go, just to make sure he can not live a happy life". You should realise that every human being has a right to live his life in his own way.

Shyam you said like above.If he was not happy with me then why he did not divorce me before kids came into our life?

What type of happiness is this that makes a man forget minimum responsibility towards kids?Yes this is a dead marriage just because of him.I tried a lot to bring him back.I cried, requested, begged to come back just for the sake of kids..But he is characterless..even his mistress also ..once she called me "bhavi"..but  at the same time she slept with her so called  brother(!).Only because of them I am helpless..my life is far away from happiness because I loved him very much..this is not easy for me to forget him.

Originally posted by : lota
	Hello, my husband filed divorce as he is willing to marry another girl.As I have been cheated and have minor kids dont want to give him divorce though he is pressurising in mediation for mutual divorce.If mediation fails and case sent back to Court again then how can long will it run? If I file a RCR case to slow down the divorce case , if I win the case and he won't come to stay with me.Then what will be the impact of the RCR order in my favour on his divorce case? Only unbiased legal advice is begged hereby.Thanks.

Why did your hasband cheat on you?

Taali ek haaath se oh nahi bajti.......

If dont want to give divorce, tell dont want to give divorce, until the day your illtreatment is proven and he is granted divorce.

But until then it is happy roaming to court halls!

You have no other option except to force this man to go to compulsory joint psychiatric counselling. He has done a horrible thing to you if what you say is true.

Another option is to give child custody to this man, let him take care of kids, and then it will be easier for you to find a real husband.

Originally posted by : Helping Hand !
	Originally posted by : lota Hello, my husband filed divorce as he is willing to marry another girl.As I have been cheated and have minor kids dont want to give him divorce though he is pressurising in mediation for mutual divorce.If mediation fails and case sent back to Court again then how can long will it run? If I file a RCR case to slow down the divorce case , if I win the case and he won't come to stay with me.Then what will be the impact of the RCR order in my favour on his divorce case? Only unbiased legal advice is begged hereby.Thanks. Why did your hasband cheat on you? Taali ek haaath se oh nahi bajti....... If dont want to give divorce, tell dont want to give divorce, until the day your illtreatment is proven and he is granted divorce. But until then it is happy roaming to court halls!

he was cheating me ..i was unaware..he had relation with many girls beside this affair and a so called happy family.The day i came to know his hidden world we had fighting on these issues..He says as he is a male he has right to do so as many men in the society keep relation with other women.I protested "you can say this a taali from my side".Can you believe he is not at home since saturday morning, he is outstation with the mistress.My kids are calling him but he is not responding so that I can not trace him.

@Manish

I can't play with my kids sending them to stay with him.He even don't care when they have high fever..he is not seen for a week even when they are sick..dont entertain 4 year old son when he insists to go school with papa..he will spoil them leaving with maid...sorry but i found this piece of advice very unsound!