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smita (not working)     01 December 2012

Its a request..i need a solution

Hi.Its not even an year since iam married but my inlaws and my husband's sibblings tortured me a lot to get dowry from ma parents and my husband nd his family had written an amicable settlement in the station dat they would not repeat again but they have been repeating the same.even before the complaint all of them had taken an AB.they had threatened to kill me and get my husband married to another girl.now the case is registered under 498a,504,506 and DP act....WIth lots of love i had married to him but eventhough what i say he is right he doesn't listen to me..every tym my fatherinlaw says him to throw me out of the house he does it.

Listening to his sibblings and his parents my husband has tortured me mentally and his sibblings and he had beaten me many tyms.eventhough i approached the police,they never helped the victim but they have been helping the accused.

Iam not interested in dissolving the marriage .So what is the solution to fight the case and get back my husband  so we both could lead a peaceful lyf away from his sibblings and parents torture to me.. they some how are not allowing us to live together.iam in my parents home from past6 months.



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 26 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     01 December 2012

1. Once such criminal (Penal) action initiated there is no possibilities of re-union.
2. Before invoking such harsh Penal provisions you should have filed RCR (if wish is to get back husband) and via Court mediation things would have still remained in civil re-union domains.
3. Now follow the criminal action instituted by you diligently to its natural conclusion. If he is convicted from such Penal actions under evidence production from your side (STTE) then end of this marriage. If he is acquitted then tell him you tried teaching him and beg to him to take you back.
4. A husband should not act as puppet into the hands of his wife is my view; one moment harsh criminal complaints and very next moment (i.e. after 6 months deliberation when you started living at natal home) developing soft corner for very husband is not right approach. If you after thoughts of mental and physical tortures meted to you as you say in your brief instituted such harsh Penal actions then stick to them donot make mockery of criminal Justice system by saying I still love my husband is also my view if you like or donot like it but have to hear it out as same will be said by Judiciary now if you opt for compromise.

There cannot be any other way out to help you once a complainant institutes harsh Penal provisions which one should have thought a lot before instituting if idea was to get back a husband. What will happen to Dowry tortures that you say they did if you opt for compromise? Getting back husband after family law criminal complaint is not done thing statistics wise is also my view. Law takes its own course once instituted.

One can say you have option to quash complaint case as compromised but I doubt reading down your opening paras that he / his side will like to take you back. However if it helps then discuss with your own criminal side practicing lawyer how to take back complaint and get your husband.

2 Like

MADHUSUDAN G R (Dy.General Manager)     01 December 2012

As already suggested, when things hv gone to such an extent, there are no possibilities of reunion.   emptional.    U are not employed n staying with yr parents, as per yr brief.  If so, better file a criminal case under dowry.  Do not be emotional.  Be practical.

smita (not working)     01 December 2012

y not a reunion possible ?when they had demanded such heavy amount as a dowry..its all the right i have to lodge a case..From past six months yes iam not living with him..in the early hrs of morning..he tried to kill me nd with a great difficulty i managed to escape from all the attempts he and his family made .i was pushed out of the house so with threat to lyf i cudn't get back.lot of councelling was done in station and mediation was also done.his family is not allowing him to get back to  me...Iam not emotional over here..my only concern is dissolving marriage is not a big thing but y can't we try in all d ways to settle things instead of the case going on fr 3-5yrs.

 

My husband is not even ready to give a mutual conscent divorce...he has not filed a divorce case yet too....I have not been working because he never allowed me to work nd i agreed bcz his intention was gud..only aftr the marriage i was treated worst than a maid and was not allowed to go out of the house nor meet or even speak to any of my parents,relatives.

 

smita (not working)     01 December 2012

I gave up everything for him..but had not expected dat he will cheat me lyk dis.The marriages these days have lost meaning bcz they are broken fr reasons lyk dowry...

 

what are the other cases that i can file so that his family will be pressurised so then atleast they would come to compromise and let us live together?

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     02 December 2012

 

Tajobsindia

really

simply

just

 G R E A T

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     02 December 2012

Reply to your two subsequent wishful thinking;

Observation first:-

1. By saying I have given dowry so he must be in my control is not a happy marriage thinking. Infact dowry was given because your father wanted to kick start your new life in matrimonial home as his obligation towards his children and/or in consideration of a jumping his status he gave dowry. There are thousands of marriage still hapenning around where no dowry given / taken.

2. Everyone knows giving and taking dowry is crime. So unless one gives there cannot be takers in society ! By giving dowry one does not become Mother Teresa in eyes of Judiciary or society!

Reply now:-

1. As you ask, the situation today cannot be changed because you are on “teaching them” a lesson mood just being hurt. With such hurtful mood a husband does not come back to you nor with any pressure he can come back is also my supplimentary view. Logical ending here is to seek divorce and re-start life as quickly as possible. Divorce is now-a-days no more a ‘dirty word’.

2. Well he is not ready for Mutual Consent Divorce as you say is for a simple reason; the criminal cases which you filed are fresh once and are there on board various Courts and unless you approach him for mutual consent by quashing these criminal cases and drawing a 'just' agreement as MoU how do you expect him to give you divorce? Only time will now lead both of you on Mutual Consent Divorce route and it is too early a situation to comment further on it.

3. You say and you want to know about other cases that can be filed to "pressurise them/ him", my only observation here is do you think / your side thinks that it is cake walk to prove criminal allegations so easily when you have just filed criminal cases to think and burn money on more criminal or civil cases? If answer is yes then you can file three maintenance case; S. 24 HMA + S. 125 CrPC + maintenance under DV. If you want you can also file RCR (restitution of conjugal rights). You can also file a civil case “injunction against him not to marry till case on floor of various courts”. Well these cases cost bomb and if you / your father can meet legal fees then apart form these ‘sky is limit’ to pressurise them / husband. But in my opinion such blasts does not help in dead marriages at the end of the day. But no harm trying after watching below representation of “metro housewife 


Illustration:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=05JRF_s00Bc 

1 Like

smita (not working)     02 December 2012

'Giving and taking is a crime yea....but  in ua context according my case u are absolutely wrong sir.i have never told he needs to be a puppet and listen to a wife only..even before filing a complaint.i had asked him if not interested let us go fr a mutual consent divrce.he never agreed just because he cannot afford for one tym settlement and he is not willing to give maintanence if he gives ....he will be in trouble to manage whatevr the commitments he has...they some how wanted to snatch the property whatever is n my name to his name wch was not possible so they happend to torture me in all d ways and his father,mother nd his sibblings are very money minded..

Iam in no way to interested in taking any revange just bcz iam hurt..when one has such intentions shd have told bfr the marriage.y trouble after marriage..these days its become common that just bcz gals family is very well off so they marry and later trouble and torture and harass mentally and physically to fulfill their need of money.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     03 December 2012

Originally posted by : smita
  Giving and taking is a crime yea....but  in ua context according my case u are absolutely wrong sir.i have never told he needs to be a puppet and listen to a wife only..XXX
XXX
...when one has such intentions shd have told bfr the marriage.y trouble after marriage..these days its become common that just bcz gals family is very well off so they marry and later trouble and torture and harass mentally and physically to fulfill their need of money.
 

 

 

 

Cool down and re-think a question; Before marriage if prospective groom family say we will torture you for dowry would you have still given dowry that you are agreeing to “giving and taking dowry is a crime”? The issue in your brief is that you gave dowry inspite of knowing it is crime and thus more demands arise out of giving it, had you not given dowry no marriage would have taken place and now you would not be here saying “I filed criminal cases yet I want my husband back…..” that is why I wrote “a husband is not puppet….

It is common to give dowry as some kind of bakshish for good conduct and/or when matrimonial home including once husband do not dance to a DIL’s tunes all hell breaks is what is fashion now a days inspite of admitting dowry giving is crime.

Correlate these two once you are cooled off then let us talk more on solving your legal issues and by rebutting me your issues in hand are never going to get solved. 

1 Like

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     03 December 2012

Hi Tajobs sir,

I am becoming your big fan! Wov!!.

When i said my in laws that I dont expect dowry, they happliy accepted, later when difference of opinion appeared in married life,  they said you did not expect dowry because you had some faults with you and did not get girl to marry! What hyporcritic society we live in!

 

Never Give Up (Fighter)     03 December 2012

“I filed criminal cases yet I want my husband back…..” that is why I wrote “a husband is not puppet….

 

Very true sirjee..

 

I have come to the stage where my wife keeps yelling i want to be with my husband in all courts and i denied it in all courts. I said,  i told you the same thing when you filed 498A during counselling sessions, that come back we have good life together. At that time you were on cloud 9 to file cases and getting us arrested. Now you see no way ahead ..and you want to come back ..

 

She must be repenting all her misdeeds now...but its their ego that does not allow to say i am sorry...

 

As they says : Ego is like underwear, you should have it but you should not show it, unless you are super man/woman !!!

 

1 Like

Samuel (CEO)     03 December 2012

Smita Case sounds exactly like the way my wife fabricated...,

My wife used to say everything all beautiful lovely words, love you, you are my god, husband is all...., all of sudden due they called me to settle along with thier family give up my relation father, mother and my family.... she went and made a complaint along with her family to police station 498A, DV, all false allegation like GOld, Car , house that I am demanding to live with her...... I still love my wife to come back! But the scary part is, what is the guarantee she will not take another revenge out of anger another time that I am not coming for single family along with her family!  

Now I am scared for re union with my wife, but I am scared for Divorce either.. who lied cold at police station that I am drug, abused, dowry so and so which I cant even imagine... I cant take a risk of living with someone who cannot operate on her own brain.. she danced so much with all colorful lies and hoped to put me in prison. when she realized that she cannot prove in front of court, she is coming for negotiation claiming LOVE and Family issue..,

Now tell me what I do with such women what are the choice that normal husband have. ..,

A) Forgive and live with my wife, forgetting past( where she wont realize and proud fully think she has won against her legal terrorism thread!!

B) Give divorce and cry out at Court and look out for evidences and arguments for years together..

C) Amicably settle my private life and find peace in myself.

C) Hang myself and give up the life instead living with Bitter half!

1 Like

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     03 December 2012

Dear Samuel,

1) reunion is difficult and we are all humans , this pain will always wave in mind creatings tides o turbulance an dtroubles more than ever. In my opinion reunion will be more pain than thsi moment.

2) look at any possiblities to change to fast track court as you were implicated in false 498a and proceed for divorce. I think  This is second best option.

3) if you are clever enough, please go ahead if your side has justice.

4) life is gifted, who knows after few years you can have successful life, she may be in misery more than what you can inflict. please dont take such decisions.

 

 

 

 

1 Like

maks (SE)     04 December 2012

 

"Mens brain is large than women whereas brain cells in women are more than men".

When it is about the new relation by means of marriage, some misunderstandings and sort of rejectness by elders happens then it is the time to analyse self, going ahead on understanding the others, discussing with the partner about family, do's, don'ts and how. It is completely an art.

The places where you've pulled them are not holy places, where people go and say "oh god, forgive us" and comes out with a fresh heart. Complaints and notices are not thrivikram scriptts full of jokes to laugh loudly and remember a long, those are cases. No one here delivers judgement for one's case, but what happens is based on the posts the experts and experienced will share their knowledge and views.

Smitha, As per your posts - you were harrassed physically and mentally for dowry by your husb family and then for property on your name, also there is an attempt to murder in the early hours of morning(think about it how he struggled throughout the night without sleep not to kill you but finally decided to do it (just imagine), are you sure it wouldn't be repeated) and most important thing is it seems like there is no one to support you from your husb family side. In such case there is no meaning in saying "Iam not interested in dissolving the marriage" and finding solution "to get back husband". 

When they've harrassed you as a citizen of india you've all the right to go and lodge a complaint. Before filing the complaints(as per your posts only) you are very clear that either continue or go for MCD and asking for onetime settlement and maintenance, but you/(or it would be the master brain befind you, definitely a male, probably your father)  would've tried to know and clear about the consequences of going further with criminal cases and legal notices.

*Dissolving the marriage is not a big thing for you and no concerns on this, but now as these cases goes for years and this concerns you. 

If your husband is not ready to take you back some day definitely he will file for divorce - this is the thing you want otherwise the other option he had is filling RCR(as per my knowledge this is the only other option he had) you even ready for this, you would've waited for some more time without filing complaints, as there is a chance that your husband would realise from the mistakes and take you back, if you are lucky seperate from his siblings . But you've cameup with few more options and ultimatums which would hurt one's ego.There are many cases(like situations) where men took wife back in counselings and after that. But now the time is over, as you are trying to gain knowledge on how to get back husb, he may also trying to gain knowledge in reverse to the way you r tying(but here reverse way means not to reach you).

At parental home women would've born with golden spoons and dimond rings in the olden days, that's why great and grand great of the great grand fathers in our culture invented the word "Dowry" and included it in the tradition. Marriages broken because of real dowry concept are very less where as marriages broken because of egoistic feelings in the face of dowry are very huge numbered. Though poor, men enjoy life better before marriage even than after marrying a woman who comes with a baggage of metals, bundles of paper, and mental torture as a package. 

"Mens brain is large than women whereas brain cells in women are more than men", Initially it follows a master brain of a man and then starts thinking self and wants what it lost.

 

maks (SE)     04 December 2012

By this time you would've contacted some lawyer where you've filed cases or at your local place, contact him, I am sure he will be ready with templates which suits your requriement like maintenance, domestic violence, RCR etc and makes changes as per your story and files in the court.

Dear Experts/Experienced. I've a doubt, is there any event happened where a wise wife filing for RCR after filing the criminal and civil cases?


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