pankaj (self) 08 October 2012

My marials drems went in vain dueto the cruel act of my wife

Hello Everyone,

Hope everyone is doing great!!

Please advise as i am in vain and fully depresses state of my mind.

I have a 10 months old girl child who is currently in my wife's custody along with her parents.

I got married in 2011, and my married life was good for a month or two i had lot of dreams for my future but all went in a vain due to the cruel act of my wife and her parents.
soon after 2-3 months after the marriage she went to her native place and when she came back and started playing all type of games in home to get seperated from my parents.
I kept refusing from that i cant get seperated from my parents any any cost as i am the only male child to them and it's my duties and responsibilities to take care of them.
IS this for what they have grew me so well and made me to stand independenly on my legs, i always use to speak with and give her suggestions like dont feel them as BURDEN but try
to understand that they are in old age and one day even you also need to face that age but she never understood my feelings and affections towards them.
She regurlarly use to fight and quarrel for silly things in home and make it a big issue and ask her parents to come down to my home from there native place or tried to run away
few times from my home too without even intimating me along with my 8 months baby.

5 months back for a silly reason she attempted a suicide by taking sleeping pills which i restricted then she tried drinking phenoyl in night and later she was admitted in hospital immediately
and soon after discharge from the hospital she came home and packed all her luggage and went to her dad's home along with my child and currently staying with her parents.

All my repeated attempts of convincing her to come back to home has failed and she has not turned up and least bothered to come back, her dad and mom are misdirecting her in all respect.
She has challenged many times to me stating that 'She would not give me a divorse but would create such a environment that i would be forced to live with her seperately and her parents warned me
that they would file a 498 case against me, even i have never demanded any things from her parenst.

This lady along with her parents have completely ruined all my respect in my society and making the things still worse. My life has gone so worsed that i dont have words to put across you all

Now she is so stuburned that she is telling that i would stay with you only when i would get seperated from my parents. Which i do not wish to do so.

Most of the ladies are using 498 as a weapon against there husband, i guess this law was not made to use as a weapon but was ment for better use.

I have sent a legal notice to her stating to come back to home, but did not hear from them so far. Instead if she files a 498 case against me then what should i do.

Please advise me how should i get rid of this deadlock situation.

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6 Replies

Ranee....... (NA) 08 October 2012

I think self critisism will help you.

forget ego.

forget what u expected in bachelor life.Life is different from dreaming!

Accept the reality and do your duty as a father.

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner ) 08 October 2012

1. After sending the Legal Notice via your advocate donot file actually a RCR (S. 9 HMA) for restitution of your conjugal rights if you really believe your life is spoilt by her and you don't want to live with her.

2. File Divorce case under mental cruelties grounds and evidences are her suicide hospital records and ill-treatment of yourself and your family before eyes of the society which are enough to grant you a decree sooner than later and in Divorce case file for visitation of Child.

3. Consolidate fast all your resources for a long legal road ahead which includes maintenance + criminal complaints from her side as retaliation whose shelf life are just 3-5 years.

4. Via reference hire Lawyer or search for one in LCI database and prepare yourself and your parents for long innings and there is no mid-path I would atleast suggest since you know little bit of Law and have already in touch with lawyer and it is obvious you have not come to LCI for sympathy!.

Well, it is observed, either you weep for your past or today but atleast not for your coming tomorrow.

Law does not recognize your emotions and sentiments.

Raja (XYZ) 08 October 2012

well said

498 A fighter (Advocate) 09 October 2012

Mr. Pankaj you know your wife better but still yousend a notice means you are in touch of your advocate, their parents thinking of filing case against you means they also know law or in touch of some advocate the safe way is if you want to live with your wife carefully on your lawyer advice bring her back if you have fear and not able to continue with her then on your laywer adivce you can proceed but see it is the question of your daughter from both side no legal action was taken against each other so try to solve the with cool mind and better try tosave the marriage, dont go for hypothetical thinking first if your marriage is without dowry take a note from inlaws so that they will not blame you for this,

collect the record medical of your wife of his acts, and give application that she have such type of mentality in future if she goes like that than also try to save yourself.

most important give application of threatning and do to save your self for future now onward you have to walk on sword edge. so carefully analyse all and and act so that if you are innocent you can prove.

pankaj (self) 20 October 2012

Thank You all for the advise, But the situation now is like they have not given any reply to the notice i had sent inturn she logged a complaint in police station stating that my inlaws and my husband has mentally and physically harrsed me. I had to be in station after i received a call from police, then police try a small councellling both the parties but she was very aggresive then police took statements from us in paper along with the my family signature stating that " she was married to so n so and there use to be small quarells and misunderstanding in home and she also gave birth to the female child and we will take care that these things does'nt happen again and requesting to police to send her back home. I see clearly her dad is playing all the game. they have akso threatten that she is going to put a 498 case.

I am totally disappointed now and want to get rid of all and her.

Please advise what should be my next action plan

498 A fighter (Advocate) 20 October 2012

now it is obvious they file 498 and other case so better soon give application to officers and keep in touch with police havaldar etc who inform you whether they are come with any complaint or not?

be preparered with AB. just read the post, facts and replies of all suffere of 498A and do your home work read the blog of Ad. bharat chugh how to fight with 498A?

and write summary of all till than you your self understood what to do and how?

you can go through my posts also as my situation is similar to you.