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jatin c. Vanniar (marketing planer)     20 August 2012

If girls family break engagment what can boy do?

My name is jatin vanniar, in feb I got a message from jeevansathi.com that a girl and her family is interested in my profile and want to take descussion futher, I called back on the number, then went to meet the girl, 1st day itself we had some kind of strong attachment, we were in love from the same day, at that time i was working as a contracter with L&T in Dahej Gujarat.

After few days my famly and I went to baroda to meet girls family, after a long talk rishta was final, we gaved them shagun and came back to gandhidham, in march girl brothers and her bhabi came for doing rokka of mine (similar to engagment), we had a grand function at gandhihdham my all relative and friends were there.

then sudenly my work was iffected due to payment problems and i had to left my contractor buisness and started searching job, but not able to find one at that time, my fiance use to give me moral sapport as we were very deeply in love we use to talk for hours, one day i went to meet her and we were not able to control our feelings and we went physical.

because i was not having any earning her famly decided to break the relation and then did the same, her phone was switched of no body from her family was receiving my calls, i am very disturb, i kept on messaging and tried to get in touch with her but her family has not leting me to meet her, even i told them we had physical relation then also they are not ready, i made a mistake i uploaded a pic of her and mine on the facebook, now they have washed her brain due to that mistake of mine, and have appossed her against me.

I want to marry her can i do something from which i can stop her geting married to anybody else? is there any claw in our legal systerm? pl advice me!!!



Learning

 12 Replies

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     20 August 2012

Legally you cannot do anything to stop her from getting married to some other guy. If you have found some good job then approach her family through some relatives and convince them for marriage. If they agree then its ok but still if the girl and her family are not ready to reconsider their decision then, accept the fact, forget everything and move on with your life.

Saurabh..V (Law Consultant)     20 August 2012

@Jatin

 

@Adv Rachna has given the right advice.

 

@Adv Rachna, my sincere question is regarding the legal point of such cases. When the foul player is the groom's family, then a large hue-n-cry is made but why is it not even moral for the bride's family to get this marriage done?

 

//peace

/Saurabh..V

1 Like

jatin c. Vanniar (marketing planer)     20 August 2012

Thanks Archana ji for ur kind reply!!!

Y cant I file a case? intention of me is just to stop them and mean while I can get time to convence them..., If in this case I had done this thing then can they file a case? if so I am shamed of our legal systerm.. why they is difference between groom n bride? both are human, law there is for all leaving being even for animals, animal ko hurt karo toh bhi punishment hain mai toh toh bhi insaan hun......

there should be a way for my prob also. there are cases like this, in U.S. and germany there is a special claw this come under breaking cummitment in india also u can file case under s415 this i have read in net.

I am not an advocate but i am fighting for my life, without her I cant move...

If you can help me would be very apriciatable..

jatin c. Vanniar (marketing planer)     20 August 2012

Saurabh ji thanks for ur cumment,

but I am not finding any solution for the same, no one can feel others pain, if they do toh duniya mai pain hota hi nahi..

if possible plz disscus with your other colieges, kuch hal nikal aaye

god bless alll!!!

Ranee....... (NA)     20 August 2012

 

@jatin c. Vanniar, she does not love you.She loved your money.My request to you is if you get a good job, then also don't go for her.She would create problems for you in future.

Ramanathan G (Independent practice)     20 August 2012

Sir, In your question, relevant points are what I quote below, for which I give reply. “then sudenly my work was effected/ lost due to payment problems and i had to left/ leave my contractor business and started searching (another) job, but not able to find one at that time, my fiance use to give me moral support as we were very deeply in love we use to talk for hours, one day i went to meet her and we were not able to control our feelings and we went physical. because i was not having any earning her famly decided to break the relation and then did the same.. “i made a mistake i uploaded a pic of her and mine on the facebook”. (1) In future, prior to marriage and other-than in well secured atmosphere, never go for physical relations. Due to performance anxiety, you must have failed in the said “Physical”, resulted in present good-luck/ predicament. Only after you lost the Contractor job, you had physical, means prior to they decided to ditch you, she wanted to find how is your performance. If that had been superb, she must have continued saying, Private Job will come and go, but love is supreme. However, due to the depression of ‘loss of earning’, ‘whether any body will come suddenly’, ‘if she will get pregnant prior to marriage’ etc thinking, you did not s*xually satisfy her and she had finalized the “ditching judgment”. I do not think that, even if you had a permanent job, you must have performed well at that juncture. It is good that, you lost job, she lost attraction of your income, and in the end she wanted to find your performance prior to tying the knot. You are very lucky. Suppose after the marriage if she did not get satisfied with your performance, she must have tried for adultery. From paras 2 and 3 below, you will find two possible reasons for your loosing this girl/ woman. (2) About 10 years back, in a Delhi News Paper (Hindustan Times or TOI), in Agony Aunt/ Psychiatrist column, there was similar question. One man/ client of the column, got engaged; prior to marriage wanted to try once physically. His erected penis had only 2 inches length. She broke the engagement, now she is not even talking. The Doctor/ Agony Aunt gave reply that, the clitoris of female is only up to 2 inches deep, thus even a 2 inch long penis will satisfy a female, but in future, only after marriage go for performance. This also may be your problem. Please note, the depression, anxiety etc might have caused erectile disfunction, but that is not a problem for ejaculation. (3) As another example, one Politician in Kerala had been unmarried, but had a large number of females for physical/ illicit s*xual intercourse – like who want transfer, Govt. job etc. he had very good s*x life till his own marriage. After the marriage, he was not getting erection. His wife was frustrated. Ultimately, they started to travel from place to place. At one hotel, when the legally wedded female and himself were trying to do physical, suddenly there was a knock in the door – it resulted in his sudden memory about all other females he had till that day, the same insecurity in bed – he got erection and could perform his conjugal role. This is a real life incident I read in “Manasastram Monthly”, about 2 decades back. Said magazine was a reputed book and not a p*rn or semi-p*rn magazine, thus this real story is reliable. (4) You are in trouble because of the photo uploaded in the face book. Remove that immediately. Normally the female’s side file a complaint at their local Police Station and the money which you have now will have to be spend to Advocates, Policemen and Courts. Remove that photo immediately. (5) If the boy’s side break an engagement, there can be FIR and Civil Compensation case. However such things are not practical for girl’s side ditching – reason is, such compensations are not approvable for Indian Males. However I read that, when one Actress of Holliwood got married for a short time, at the time of divorce, her ex-husband left her without compensation etc. that is not possible in Indian Legal System. Wish you all the best. 20-8-2012 at 9.35 pm Ramanathan2108@gmail.com

Ramanathan G (Independent practice)     21 August 2012

Sir, Yesterday i gave answer to one more question about "Practice area query", which had been acknowledged by many a persons. However, this answer is not acknowledged either by the person who asked question or any other person. If like this REAL LIFE REPLIES are not liked, please tell so that i will not write in future. 21-8-12 at 9.40 pm

jatin c. Vanniar (marketing planer)     23 August 2012

One of the most noticeable changes in recent years is the increased cases of breach of promise to marry. Recently a case has hit the head lines ,A couple who had originally met in civil service exam training institute initially became friends - the man courted and proposed to marry her; she accepted his love on the condition that they would get married; and subsequently the man who topped the civil service exam got selected to the Indian police service. There was love lost between them. The happy beginnings started to stir up contentions. The girl has knocked the doors of justice –the man who has promised to marry her has failed to honour his promise. Whether her charges hold water ?The decision is anchored on the trial court's findings and conclusions but the case has thrown up several issues. Can the provision of law protect a girl from such breach of promise? An action for breach of promise to marry may be taken by a man as well as a woman. When the female is the injured party, there is generally more reason for a resort to the laws, than when the man is the sufferer. My colleagues have been debating whether the breach of promise action is an appropriate remedy in our present day legal system. Some of them argued that the remedy is inimical to the mores of our present day society and that breach of promise to marry per se is not actionable, except where the person has actually incurred expenses for the wedding and the necessary incidents thereof. A woman's livelihood depends on marriage. Her social obligation is to marry and build a family; this is an emphasis constantly reinforced by peer groups ,family, and also a popular opinion. It is important that a woman's reputation is intact and her eligibility protected. Involvement in a failed engagement could threaten this. The promise and reciprocal agreement of marriage is considered to be a civil contract. There are countless gaps in the laws which leave so many victims of moral wrongs helpless even though they have actually suffered material and moral injury. To vouchsafe there is adequate legal remedy . There can be an action for breach of promise unless a contract to marry has been made. There are no formal requirements regarding the contract. It need not to be evidenced by writing and the law prescribes no particular form of words. A promise by one person to marry another is not binding unless and until that other also promises to marry the first person. Mutual promises to marry may be implied from the conduct of the parties. A mutual promise to marry may be made expressly or impliedly. The contractual relation in a marriage agreement is different from other agreements. In re Marriage of Mehren & Dargan, the California Supreme Court differentiated the contractual relation in commercial contracts from that of marital contracts. Generally, commercial contracts have a specific object and the parties enter into such contracts to achieve their objects. Marital contracts are entered into with the expectation that the contract will never be revoked. Moreover, marriage itself is a highly regulated institution of undisputed social value. Parties intending to recover for breach of marriage must show that a valid contract existed for the purpose of marriage and parties had an intention to make a binding contract. The essential element for the creation of a marriage contract is that both the parties must understand each other’s intention to enter into the marriage relation. Parties incapable of entering into a contract cannot make an agreement to enter into a contract for marriage. Incapacity to enter into a marriage is a valid defense to breach of a promise to marriage. Additionally, a promise to marry a married person is invalid. A promisor to such an agreement will be held liable for breach of a promise, in the event of termination of prior marriage by divorce, annulment, or death of the former spouse. For a contract to be valid and enforceable, there must be a meeting of minds between the promiser and the promisee. In a marriage contract, one party’s promise is adequate consideration for the other party’s promise. The only condition is that the consideration must not be illegal. Parties to a marriage contract can rescind the contract by mutual consent. A contract can also be rescinded on the basis of vitiating elements like fraud, duress, incapacity, coercion, or misrepresentation. In a marriage contract, a breach of promise results from the unwillingness to perform one’s promise to marry. Unless there is a legally justifiable reason, an unwillingness to perform one's promise to marry creates a breach of promise to marry. Mere postponement of the marriage will not amount to breach of promise. However, arbitrary postponement without any valid reason will amount to a refusal to comply with the promise. One type of agreement which is clearly unenforceable in English law, is the ‘pre-nuptial’ agreement common in the United States. This type of agreement is made prior to marriage in order to avoid, or minimise, disputes about the distribution of property if the marriage breaks down. Such an agreement is however, regarded as contrary to public policy by the courts, and therefore unenforceable. Breach of promise to marry is a remedy which is sui generis and has features in common with an action based on contract and an action in delict..( an intentional or negligent act which gives rise to a legal obligation between parties even though there has been no contract between them ) It not only amounts to a breach of contract, but also constitutes a wrong against the injured party. Recoverable damages include Compensatory Damages for injury to the feelings and health as well as to his or her reputation. One may also recover damages for any financial loss resulting from the breach, comparable to the recovery in a breach of any other contract action, in addition to compensation for loss of advantages that would have stemmed from a marital relationship with the accuser. The act of marrying is a personal obligation, therefore legally; a demand for specific performance is simply out of the question—being tantamount to involuntary servitude. Therefore a suit for specific performance has nothing to do with forcing a marriage to take place. In Frost vs Kight (1872) –case pertains to an agreement to marry.The defendant had agreed to marry the plaintiff once the defendants father had died .The defendant broke of the engagement before his fathers death.Chief justice Cockburn observed that this renunciation tantamount to breach of promise. In short vs stone 1846 8 QB 358 –Chief justice Lord campbell observed that if a man promises to marry a women on a future date and marries another woman before that date then the promisee is entitled to file a suit against the promisor for breach of contract to marry. A critical study of these two decisions set an example in the jurisprudence of marriage agreements and exemplary damages.Two points arose in the aforesaid decisions-1)The breach of promise to marriage is actionable. 2)Exemplary damages along with normal damages can be awarded (the basis of damages include hurt feelings, embarrassment and damage to reputation. Our laws do not provide specific reliefs for cases arising purely from a breach of one’s promise to marry another.An aggrieved person can claim compensation or damages for breach of promise to marry.Once the existence of promise to marry is proved then its breach would certainly be actionable under section 73 and 74 of the Indian contract act. Damages for breach of promise to marry shall include not only material and pecuniary losses but also compensation for mental and moral suffering. Fraudulent representations regarding a marriage is capable of giving rise, in appropriate circumstances, to criminal as well as civil liability Breach of promise involves an individual’s right to prosecute or make a claim against another individual who has reneged on a promise. Breach of promise to marry at best would also attract an offence of cheating under Section 415 of the Indian Penal Code. "For instance, if a man who promises a woman to marry ;breaks the promise, it is false representation If, at the time of giving such a promise, he did not intend getting married, then it would certainly amount to cheating .It could also be interpreted that Breach of promise to marry is different from a case of false promise to marry. Each case has its own peculiar facts which may have a bearing on the weight of evidence, keeping in view the fact that the burden is on the prosecution to prove each and every ingredient of the offence. Failure to keep the promise- There may be countless factors for which an accused may fail to keep his promise. He may even change his mind for various reasons, foul or honest.. “Chastity and / or ‘virginity’ of woman can also be covered by the definition of property used in Sec.415 IPC, property in the sense means- stealing chastity of women as if it were property. Impugning Chastity is a property type injury to a girl’s reputation. Sexual purity is the sole valuable component of their “property” law has not reinforced the social significance attached to a woman’s s*xual purity. There is a parallel to be drawn with the law on chastity. Chaste is a primal code of conduct that defines the duty of a girl within the social group .A social code of chastity differs from a legal code .chastity is implicit rather than explicit and objectified. Chastity can also be distinguished from dignity, which is measured against an individual's conscience, rather than against the judgment of a community. A girl dating with a boy or in romantic relationship without physical relations is judged by the community as a person of loose morals. The word chastity is shrouded in euphemism and it also depends on ones thoughts and behavior. The law of chastity is a moral code . It is also defined - to be morally clean in "thoughts, words, and actions."India has rich traditional values and dating is not a customary practice in India, dating, snogging, petting, hugging, fondling violates the boundaries of chastity. Our social code do not digest the relationship of a unwedded couple as platonic, romantic but chaste. society looks on platonic relationships with jaundiced eyes and cast aspersions on the girls character . The prejudice is invincible and the physical suffering, mental anguish, social humiliation, besmirched reputation moral damages and embarrassment suffered before ones relatives and friends causes irremediable damages. Courts should take into consideration the realities of Indian life as they impinge on marriage and the social and moral stigma that is attached to the agony ,insult and neglect of the victim of a broken promise to marry.

jatin c. Vanniar (marketing planer)     23 August 2012

This is what i wanted, i wanted a solution not comments or advices, advocate practice mean look in the matter what has happened and what can be done, in our indian law you can break the law legally, you can find many ways for breaking any law, i mean to say for everything there is a law, just u have to do is keep ur eyes open and search for it. One of the most noticeable changes in recent years is the increased cases of breach of promise to marry. Recently a case has hit the head lines ,A couple who had originally met in civil service exam training institute initially became friends - the man courted and proposed to marry her; she accepted his love on the condition that they would get married; and subsequently the man who topped the civil service exam got selected to the Indian police service. There was love lost between them. The happy beginnings started to stir up contentions. The girl has knocked the doors of justice –the man who has promised to marry her has failed to honour his promise. Whether her charges hold water ?The decision is anchored on the trial court's findings and conclusions but the case has thrown up several issues. Can the provision of law protect a girl from such breach of promise? An action for breach of promise to marry may be taken by a man as well as a woman. When the female is the injured party, there is generally more reason for a resort to the laws, than when the man is the sufferer. My colleagues have been debating whether the breach of promise action is an appropriate remedy in our present day legal system. Some of them argued that the remedy is inimical to the mores of our present day society and that breach of promise to marry per se is not actionable, except where the person has actually incurred expenses for the wedding and the necessary incidents thereof. A woman's livelihood depends on marriage. Her social obligation is to marry and build a family; this is an emphasis constantly reinforced by peer groups ,family, and also a popular opinion. It is important that a woman's reputation is intact and her eligibility protected. Involvement in a failed engagement could threaten this. The promise and reciprocal agreement of marriage is considered to be a civil contract. There are countless gaps in the laws which leave so many victims of moral wrongs helpless even though they have actually suffered material and moral injury. To vouchsafe there is adequate legal remedy . There can be an action for breach of promise unless a contract to marry has been made. There are no formal requirements regarding the contract. It need not to be evidenced by writing and the law prescribes no particular form of words. A promise by one person to marry another is not binding unless and until that other also promises to marry the first person. Mutual promises to marry may be implied from the conduct of the parties. A mutual promise to marry may be made expressly or impliedly. The contractual relation in a marriage agreement is different from other agreements. In re Marriage of Mehren & Dargan, the California Supreme Court differentiated the contractual relation in commercial contracts from that of marital contracts. Generally, commercial contracts have a specific object and the parties enter into such contracts to achieve their objects. Marital contracts are entered into with the expectation that the contract will never be revoked. Moreover, marriage itself is a highly regulated institution of undisputed social value. Parties intending to recover for breach of marriage must show that a valid contract existed for the purpose of marriage and parties had an intention to make a binding contract. The essential element for the creation of a marriage contract is that both the parties must understand each other’s intention to enter into the marriage relation. Parties incapable of entering into a contract cannot make an agreement to enter into a contract for marriage. Incapacity to enter into a marriage is a valid defense to breach of a promise to marriage. Additionally, a promise to marry a married person is invalid. A promisor to such an agreement will be held liable for breach of a promise, in the event of termination of prior marriage by divorce, annulment, or death of the former spouse. For a contract to be valid and enforceable, there must be a meeting of minds between the promiser and the promisee. In a marriage contract, one party’s promise is adequate consideration for the other party’s promise. The only condition is that the consideration must not be illegal. Parties to a marriage contract can rescind the contract by mutual consent. A contract can also be rescinded on the basis of vitiating elements like fraud, duress, incapacity, coercion, or misrepresentation. In a marriage contract, a breach of promise results from the unwillingness to perform one’s promise to marry. Unless there is a legally justifiable reason, an unwillingness to perform one's promise to marry creates a breach of promise to marry. Mere postponement of the marriage will not amount to breach of promise. However, arbitrary postponement without any valid reason will amount to a refusal to comply with the promise. One type of agreement which is clearly unenforceable in English law, is the ‘pre-nuptial’ agreement common in the United States. This type of agreement is made prior to marriage in order to avoid, or minimise, disputes about the distribution of property if the marriage breaks down. Such an agreement is however, regarded as contrary to public policy by the courts, and therefore unenforceable. Breach of promise to marry is a remedy which is sui generis and has features in common with an action based on contract and an action in delict..( an intentional or negligent act which gives rise to a legal obligation between parties even though there has been no contract between them ) It not only amounts to a breach of contract, but also constitutes a wrong against the injured party. Recoverable damages include Compensatory Damages for injury to the feelings and health as well as to his or her reputation. One may also recover damages for any financial loss resulting from the breach, comparable to the recovery in a breach of any other contract action, in addition to compensation for loss of advantages that would have stemmed from a marital relationship with the accuser. The act of marrying is a personal obligation, therefore legally; a demand for specific performance is simply out of the question—being tantamount to involuntary servitude. Therefore a suit for specific performance has nothing to do with forcing a marriage to take place. In Frost vs Kight (1872) –case pertains to an agreement to marry.The defendant had agreed to marry the plaintiff once the defendants father had died .The defendant broke of the engagement before his fathers death.Chief justice Cockburn observed that this renunciation tantamount to breach of promise. In short vs stone 1846 8 QB 358 –Chief justice Lord campbell observed that if a man promises to marry a women on a future date and marries another woman before that date then the promisee is entitled to file a suit against the promisor for breach of contract to marry. A critical study of these two decisions set an example in the jurisprudence of marriage agreements and exemplary damages.Two points arose in the aforesaid decisions-1)The breach of promise to marriage is actionable. 2)Exemplary damages along with normal damages can be awarded (the basis of damages include hurt feelings, embarrassment and damage to reputation. Our laws do not provide specific reliefs for cases arising purely from a breach of one’s promise to marry another.An aggrieved person can claim compensation or damages for breach of promise to marry.Once the existence of promise to marry is proved then its breach would certainly be actionable under section 73 and 74 of the Indian contract act. Damages for breach of promise to marry shall include not only material and pecuniary losses but also compensation for mental and moral suffering. Fraudulent representations regarding a marriage is capable of giving rise, in appropriate circumstances, to criminal as well as civil liability Breach of promise involves an individual’s right to prosecute or make a claim against another individual who has reneged on a promise. Breach of promise to marry at best would also attract an offence of cheating under Section 415 of the Indian Penal Code. "For instance, if a man who promises a woman to marry ;breaks the promise, it is false representation If, at the time of giving such a promise, he did not intend getting married, then it would certainly amount to cheating .It could also be interpreted that Breach of promise to marry is different from a case of false promise to marry. Each case has its own peculiar facts which may have a bearing on the weight of evidence, keeping in view the fact that the burden is on the prosecution to prove each and every ingredient of the offence. Failure to keep the promise- There may be countless factors for which an accused may fail to keep his promise. He may even change his mind for various reasons, foul or honest.. “Chastity and / or ‘virginity’ of woman can also be covered by the definition of property used in Sec.415 IPC, property in the sense means- stealing chastity of women as if it were property. Impugning Chastity is a property type injury to a girl’s reputation. Sexual purity is the sole valuable component of their “property” law has not reinforced the social significance attached to a woman’s s*xual purity. There is a parallel to be drawn with the law on chastity. Chaste is a primal code of conduct that defines the duty of a girl within the social group .A social code of chastity differs from a legal code .chastity is implicit rather than explicit and objectified. Chastity can also be distinguished from dignity, which is measured against an individual's conscience, rather than against the judgment of a community. A girl dating with a boy or in romantic relationship without physical relations is judged by the community as a person of loose morals. The word chastity is shrouded in euphemism and it also depends on ones thoughts and behavior. The law of chastity is a moral code . It is also defined - to be morally clean in "thoughts, words, and actions."India has rich traditional values and dating is not a customary practice in India, dating, snogging, petting, hugging, fondling violates the boundaries of chastity. Our social code do not digest the relationship of a unwedded couple as platonic, romantic but chaste. society looks on platonic relationships with jaundiced eyes and cast aspersions on the girls character . The prejudice is invincible and the physical suffering, mental anguish, social humiliation, besmirched reputation moral damages and embarrassment suffered before ones relatives and friends causes irremediable damages. Courts should take into consideration the realities of Indian life as they impinge on marriage and the social and moral stigma that is attached to the agony ,insult and neglect of the victim of a broken promise to marry.

Ramanathan G (Independent practice)     23 August 2012

Sir,

I had downloaded your all 3 writings. I will take time to read and understand that. Later i will reply to that.

Only point i want to reassure you is, here we do not know each other. There are persons who use anonymous log-in names. Many a person's profile is having not even one word.

This is like how we deposit some cash in the Temple - we know, God is not going to carry anything with him - that money will be spend within humans - but how and how the use will take place is not known.

After reading your reply, i will give you a proper answer, to give you a good life and peace of mind.

Thanks.

23-8-12 at 6.25 pm

Ramanathan G (Independent practice)     24 August 2012

Sir, Your main grievance against me is: "This is what i wanted, i wanted a solution not comments or advices, advocate practice mean look in the matter what has happened and what can be done, in our indian law you can break the law legally, you can find many ways for breaking any law, i mean to say for everything there is a law, just u have to do is keep ur eyes open and search for it". Any profession - whether Advocate, Doctor, semi-skilled Mistri or Teaching, only that person who is engaged in that for 24 x 7 can do properly; another condition is, unless having detachment, a person should not do that work, even if he is a qualified professional quote from a Hindi Movie, may be: Munnabhai MBBS, in which the Professor/ Principal of Medical College tells that, he loves his daughter, thus he will not be able to treat her, thus do not love your patient. You are not able to view your problem with due detachment, thus the point of view you had written to me, will not be useful to you. You better contact an advocate of your locality, preferably who may be of aged 50 or above, to give you proper advices. My bonafide advice for future course of action is: Any way, if you will forget this Girl/ woman, you are likely to lead a proper and happy long life. thanks. 24-8-12 at 1 pm

dev (k)     24 August 2012

dear jatin

 forgot this and start a new life with new job many girl came and many go ,

Legaly u don't do any think  "Kyonki shagun ko koi register nahi karvata stamp paper par , or india ka kanoon mahilao ko aage rakh ke chalta hi ,agar usne court me yeh keh diya ki me isse shadi nahi karna chahti , every thing is over ,


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