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Radhika Jain (Finance Manager)     05 August 2012

Husband taking salary

Hi,


I got married in december last year 2011. It was an arranged marriage. I am working at Mumbai in an IT Company any my husband is into a contractual job earning 1/3rd of my salary.

Since starting i am having problem in my married life. my husband do with draw money from my account after my consent. can i ask him to return the money he has taken from me. we lived together for 5 months, but after some altercation between me and my husband, my husband sent me back to my parents home for  so that we both get some time. But now i dont wish to return. Its already more than 3 months since m living with my parents. My education n passport documents are also with my husband, which i needed last month. I requested him to give me my documents, which he didnt refused to give but never gave even. My company is sending me to US for few days on project. Can i go there without consent of my husband and in laws. I took police at my in laws home to search for my papers but could not find any of my papers. so i have to get my passport made again for visa.


Till now my husband has not taken any action, he is just requesting me to return back by email and his family memebers asking me, but i dont wish to go back. What if he files an notice under section 9 or RCR.

What should i do. Please suggest.

Radhika



Learning

 12 Replies

Yudhish Padman S (Advocate (Madras High Court) 9566217446)     05 August 2012

Let me be frank.

In your own words, you have described that you husband is not cruel, impotent or disloyal.  Hence you could not succeed a Divorce Case and he could succeed if he files a case for RoCR.  I suggest that you convince your husband for a "Mutual Consent" if you really wish for it.

But I strongly advise that you approach an Advocate in Person for a more individualistic approach for your case in hand.  There are a lot of remedies available that you could not even imagine and we cannot arrive at a correct decision based merely on the above data.

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     05 August 2012

1. Happy marriage is all about give and take.
2. If his earning is 1/3rd. of yours then do you want him to steal or rob to fulfill his shortcomings. There are so many unfortunate husbands around who earn less than their wife. 
3. What for you are earning more? I mean if to send money to natal home (I personally donot mind that) OR for saving for future but at cost of breaking present day's matrimony!
4.Quite often marriage gets broken on one spouse keeping too unreasonable upper hand for quite a long time.
5. Without consent of husband you are not supposed to leave matrimonial home + overseas.
6. Docs. not found in his home has alternate remedy which you used i.e. involving police for search and seizure and before that asking him for which he never refused nor gave them to you but the moment police enters a couples home the relationship is not worth keeping for.
7. Suggest to think finally if you want marriage on papers or divorce by decree fo the Court.
8. If on paper then carry on with your career and don’t pay head to RCR it will eventually culminate into divorce after 1 year of execution of decree. So till that time you are on paper bonded.
9. If donot want to maintain matrimony then before going overseas opt for Mutual Consent divorce with no alimony but all your stridhan returned back which includes your documents. If he is sensible he will opt for it as events unfolding speaks he cannot maintain for long his RCR position.
10. If want to maintain matrimony then do the arithmetic on salary division when in needs of family comes and live with him and part away salary as help to him to stand on his own feet which is what woman who believe in continuing social marriages do. While maintaining such marriage you still have option with consent to go overseas for better future for the “family”

Be straight forward first to yourself and then act accordingly as breaking marriage is very easy but then what !.

Sunny (Other)     05 August 2012

Awesome, this is one of the good cases. He will file for alimony and you will have to pay him madam. If you would have been in his place, would you have left your alimony ?

 

Plus I don't think you can reconcile now since you took police to his house. He's a nice guy that he's still asking you to come back, my god, why do you want to leave such an angel and torture him?

HK_Jain... (498a Fighter)     05 August 2012

talk to your husband and try for mutul consent..

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     05 August 2012

Can i go there without consent of my husband and in laws. I took police at my in laws home to search for my papers but could not find any of my papers. so i have to get my passport made again for visa.

YOU CAN GO ABROAD AND LEGALLY HUSBAND'S OR INLAWS' PERMISSION IS NOT REQUIRED.  NATURALLY, AT RANDDOM SEARCH YOUR PASSPORT COULD NOT BE FOUND AS IT WAS HIDDEN SOMEWHERE ELSE TO HARASS YOU.  YOU CAN FILE A CIVIL CASE AND SEEK DIRECTION FROM THE COURT TO DIRECT YOUR HUSBAND TO PRODUCE YOUR PASSPORT.  OTHERWISE, YOU CAN FILE CRIMINAL COMPLAINT AGAINST HIM BEFORE THE MM AND GO FOR SEARCH WARRANT OF THE REQUIRED DOCUMENT.  WITHOUT SHOWING SUFFICIENT PROOF THAT YOU LOST PASSPORT, IT IS DIFFICULT TO GET A DUPLICATE  PREPARED.  SHORTER METHOD IS THAT YOU FILE A COMPLAINT IN THE POLICE STATION SAYING THAT YOU LAST THE PASSPORT AND ON THE BASIS OF THE COMPLAINT GET DUPLICATE PASSPORT FROM AUTHORITIES.  


Till now my husband has not taken any action, he is just requesting me to return back by email and his family memebers asking me, but i dont wish to go back. What if he files an notice under section 9 or RCR.

IF YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED TO GO BACK (THE REASONS YOU HAVE NOT TOLD IN YOUR QUERRY), NOTHING IN THIS WORLD CAN FORCE YOU TO GO THERE.  THE COURTS IN INDIA HAVE NO POWER TO FORCE THE ESTRANGED COUPLES TO STAY TOGETHER.  IF HE FILES SECTION 9 AND GETS FAVOURABLE DECREE, THAT DECREE IS NOT EXECUTABLE.  ONLY DISABILITY YOU FACE OUT OF THIS RCR DECREE IS THAT YOU WILL NOT BE ENTITLED TO MAINTENANCE, IF YOU ARE OTHERWISE ENTITLED.  AS YOU HAVE BEEN ALREADY EARNING MORE, EVEN OTHERWISE YOU ARE NOT ENTITLED TO MAINTENANCE.

REGARDING HIS TAKING AWAY YOUR HARD EARNED MONEY IS CONCERNED, YOU SEE, IF BOTH HUSBAND AND WIFE HAVE HARMONIOUS RELATIONSHIP, THEN MONEY DOES NOT MATTER.  IF THERE IS ESTRANGEMENT, THE PROPER SOLUTION IS TO DISTRIBUTE THE EXPENSES AND DOMESTIC WORK EQUALLY.  IT DOES NOT AUGUR WELL THAT MORE EARNING WIFE, AFTER COMPLETION OF HER WORKING HOURS COMES TO HOME AND INCURS ALL THE HOUSE HOLD EXPENDITURE AND ALSO DOES  ALL THE DOMESTIC WORK, WHERE AS LESS EARNING HUSBAND REFUSES TO SHARE EXPENSES AND ALSO HOUSEHOLD WORK.

Ranee....... (NA)     05 August 2012

I feel you should give him one more chance.Join him and go for the project from your matrimonial home.

Sunny (Other)     06 August 2012

He should claim alimony from her

Nina Rakheja (unhappily married)     06 August 2012

Money does no.t matter in marriage only love matters.You are lucky that your husband loves you.

Radhika Jain (Finance Manager)     07 August 2012

I just want to know that can i Travel Abroad without Consent of my Husband. I am afraid that he might write to my company that he does not give consent to my travel due to which my company not allow me to travel.

Can he do so legally. Also if he sends me Section 9 notice than what i should do.

Please advise.

Radhika

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     07 August 2012

Originally posted by : Radhika Jain
 
I just want to know that can i Travel Abroad without Consent of my Husband. I am afraid that he might write to my company that he does not give consent to my travel due to which my company not allow me to travel.

Can he do so legally. Also if he sends me Section 9 notice than what i should do.
 
 

 

In my opinion your question on “consent from Husband” is highly technical to cause of action stated in reply mail.

”Consent” comes into picture related to matrimony in following conditions;

- At the time of Marriage.
- At the time of Divorce.
- At the time of Desertion.
- At the time of parents or legal guardian giving daughter for Marriage.
- At the time of giving/taking on Adoption.
- Below 15 years old bride consent is not needed from a guardian husband.
- At the time of Religion Change.
- At the time of giving dowry.
- At the time of selling property of Husband.
- Taking to natal home above 5 years old child.
- At the time of self re-location.
- Taking T/C from school of above 5 years old child.
- Sexual intercourse with a third party.
- At the time of taking ‘housewife” status just after marriage.
- Consent to return to matrimonial home.

”Consentdoes not comes into picture related to matrimony in following conditions;

- At the time of Abortion (slightly debatable).
- At the time of taking up a Job.
- Taking to natal home below 5 years old Child.
- Taking T/C from school of below 5 years old child.
- At the time of Name Change.
- At the time of seeking money from a Husband.
- At the time of filing any nature of case against Husband.
- Above 15 years old bride consent is not needed from a guardian husband.
- Post divorce and after 90 days appeal period no consent needed as to right to live, work, relocate and or remarry from ex Husband.  

Hence, in my opinion for earning a livelihood a married women is not required to seek consent of her husband while living in matrimonial home and or while not living in matrimonial home.


However as far as S. 9 HMA is concerned no Constitutional Authority can force a un-willing spouse to cohabit with each another under same roof without consent or free will of either but during such cohabitation failure it becomes later ground for seeking ‘divorce’ from each other.


Regarding Company getting to know from Husband (be it his complaint or whatever) and then not allowing you for a foreign Job is a “funny” question to me. For a simple fact, you I think is not living with your husband and “no consent” not to live with him probably is taken so if you take up foreign job “with consent or without consent” of your husband how does it matter to your “personal liberty” other than it may lead to further acrimony but ultimately Court will favor you with your choice of profession so to me I would add “why procrastinate now” that a “bold” step within marriage bonds on paper already taken for whatever the cause of action it rests foundation on by you!

 

Or you want legal sanctity to a foreign job while remaining in bonds of marriage on paper then file a general clause suit matter “not to restrain you for taking foreign job read with not to restarin you form re-location” and your prayer will be heard by Court irrespective there is a S. 9 or divorce or any other case filed between you two till date!

1 Like

(Guest)

First try to settle yur life through mediatin, If problem not solved than think to take some hard step.

Yudhish Padman S (Advocate (Madras High Court) 9566217446)     08 August 2012

  1. If your question is whether you can travel abroad without your husband's consent, then the answer is Yes.
  2. If you question is how your employer would react if your husband notifies them about how and why he does not consent you travel abroad, then I'd have to say that their decision in this matter is subject to your company policies.
  3. If your question is whether your husband could legally prevent you from travelling abroad, then I'd have to say Yes, it is possible.  He has to obtain a Court Order to that effect.  Until then, you cannot be stopped.
  4. If your question is how a Section 9 Notice will affect you, then I'd have to say that you can attend the trial even from abroad vide Online Video Conference.  The Family Court has procedures for it.

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