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subbalaxmi (Engineer)     20 July 2012

Married daughter's resposibility towards her parents

I am married since 2 yrs.I am the only daughter of my parents,who are senior citizens with age-related illness. I have to give physical and mental support for my parents, but My husband doesn't allow my parents to stay in our house and denies my right to stay near my parents and care for them. On the other hand, his parents can stay in our home and its my responsibility to care for them. I feel this is highly unfair and cruel to me and my family.What can I do to get justice?



Learning

 7 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     20 July 2012

1. Before marriage you were property of your parents in terms of rights and duties.
2. After marriage you become husband’s property. After marriage husband's home is your home and husband's parents are your parents. Your rights and duties after marriage shifts towards husband and in-laws sides and not remain back at natal home only.
3. In their current illness you should seek first "permission" i.e. sabbatical from your In-Laws and from your Husband and balance your duties.
4. Husband has a legal right to say no to accommodate your parents at his place.
5. If you are talking of rights of natal home then they are limited only i.e. towards inheritance of property from natal home side. After that you have no rights from your natal home.
6. As far as duties towards natal home are concerned after first following para 3 then only you can perform your duties being married woman now. The moment you take long – short jumps here or there your above empowerment question confuses you.  
7. Your question of Law usage does not arise. It is not unfair at all.
8. If you thinking that you are unfair in getting justice then divorce your husband amicably and perform all your duties to your parents and after they are hale and healthy “request” your ex husband for re-marriage.

If you think I am talking some alien language then try performing your duties without permission / request from/to your husband and see what happens to your present matrimony and do update me which current Law in
India helped you balancing your duties to natal home while still being self called yourself as" happily married" J 

1 Like

Adv Archana Deshmukh (Practicing Advocate)     20 July 2012

@Subbalaxmi,

 

Your concern for your parents is quite right and justified particularly if you are the only child of your parents. You cannot force your husband to keep your parents but you should do your duties towards you parents even though you are married because a daughter does'nt cease to be a daughter of her parents after her marriage and her bonding with her parents is not severed becoz of marriage. A daughter does go to her parents house after marriage, so should u go to your parents house occationally only to receive gifts and presents for yourself and your husband and his family? Nope. Talk to your husband politely but firmly about your genuine concerns about your parents and assure him that you are not ignoring  and will never ignore your responsibilities towards him and his family becoz of them. Do not ignore your in-laws bcoz you have your parents to take care of, bcoz that will be unfair and will also antagonise your husband more towards your parents. But try to strike a balance between both matrimonial home and maternal home. Be good and caring towards both the families. I am sure with time your husband will also understand you and will help you in discharging your duties towards both. Though you are not staying near your parents but you can visit occationally and talk to them on phone everyday so that they would not feel alone. Keep in touch with them and try to arrenge for some maid to take care of them daily.  Go to them and provide your assistance whenever they need you. 

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     21 July 2012

 

Originally posted by : good girl.......
 
my mom beared  equal pain when I was born with my bro...had equal sleepless nights that she had with her only son..this is a time of gender equality..
then why you are talking nonsense to this lady?Does right in property decides love & duty towards own parents..?
Would you advice the same to a male querist?
why you always encourage lady querists to divorce..?
and welcome divorcees with lots of love and care even if they are wrong?
 

1. There is no question of "gender equality" coming in this query. Do good research of the meaning of such high profile words before time passing with me next time.

2. A male querist will not ask this question for the reason being he stays at his own home with his own parents whether they are hale or sick. Question of a male queriest asking as this query author at the end of her query asks "What can I do for justice?" is rare until you create a new avatar as you time pass women writers do here quite often and ask exactly that too. Infact I would live attending that query too – watch my answer then what I give
J. Shall we !.....

3. If you know law more than me and can quote Section of any The Act and or The Code, Guidelines – Binding precedent – Amendment – Circular etc. you are welcome to quote and I will thank you for teaching me question of Law as asked by this queriest.

4. Today husband when marries a wife it itself is his pain more or less equal to your mother bearing you and your brothers childbirth pain in today’s metro life. Don’t dramatize childbirth as to the one and only pain a gender bears. Believe me when I advise you with this medical lollipop - you will not feel any childbirth pain if and when you give birth post marriage as from mid 90’s the statistics on C - section has risen alarmingly pan India
J

5. What you expect me to tell a particular female queriest after she narrates her facts and if facts are smelling / leading to divorce? Shall I tell her to bear the violence / destitution / beating endlessly. TH
ANK YOU. This honor I leave for your time pass. For records remove rainbow glasses and read replies that I give to Males too where after reading their query I tell them for seeking divorce.


The problem here is not my answers but you time pass women with no iota of legal knowledge and just a zeal to treat all women queriest as last abalas on Earth and all male queriest as the only rapist, dowry seekers and child killers. Now where is your high five "GE
NDER EQUALITY" claim in those queries. PERIOD.


I donot give reply to please any gender. What laws says I use law and make replies. If you have better idea then instead of condemning my replies, use your left over brains if any and write replies here which suits according to you is better why should I stop you for doing that exactly here.

If you are not satisfied by any of my query replies then request any of your best Advocate friend here in LCI board and or outside LCI board to challenge my replies legally / section / act / code / reasoning wise and I keep open my challenge for today, tomorrow till my membership stands here. I exactly know tools of my trade. 

Shall you now………........


Savvy !

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     22 July 2012

Dear queriest,

You have got not only moral duty but also legal duty towards your parents, even after you got married.  The Senior citizens' maintenance Act imposes such responsibility on daughters, who are class I heirs ( you have already clarified that you have no brothers).  Going to the provisions of the said Act clearly imposes such an obligation on the children.  If your husband is trying to stop you to do your legal duty, he is doing illegal and unjustified act.  In the male dominated society, the male section of the society interpret the law in their favour.  After marriage, a wife cannot become a milching cow to the husband and his parents.  But in most traditional families, they think so.  There is no mention in any provision of HMA that which is the matrimonial home.  Even then husband bringing in the old and archaic traditions,as they are favourable to husbands, says that his house is matrimonial home and his parents are his wife's parents, but he does not have any thing to do with the parents of the wife, whether they are indigent, sick and old and helpless expecting some love and care from their beloved daughter.  Quite often you see, that husband complains that wife's parents' too much intervention ruined his matrimonial life, but ignores his own parents' interference in his matrimonial life.  Wife is not an object, nor immovable nor movable property, which (read she) can be in the custody of the parents till marriage and her custodial rights go to husband and his parents.  She is a living human being having her own respirations, perspirations and inspirations.  Just like man, she has her own identity in the natal home as well as husband's (I am not saying matrimonial) home. 

Try to explain your husband about a daughter's love towards her parents, irrespective of her matrimonial status.  If he understands, it is O.K.  Otherwise provide financial help to them and arrange a maid to them to help them in distress conditions.  If your husband does not permit even this much of assistance, he is not worth to be called a human being.  I leave the option to you by ending this post by saying that you have got moral as well as legal duty towards your parents, despite your marital status.     

2 Like

Ranee....... (NA)     22 July 2012

Very good reply by Chandu sir.Thank you.

Goodgirl, have you deleted your reply out of shame?

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 July 2012

 

 

Originally posted by : Roshni B..

 

Rejoinder:-


Bhaiyaa
Take 1: The last time I heard from your 2 inch mouth on your recently celebrated 30+ frigid frame was that I am your Uncle ji OR Papa ji now I am hearing further relationship frustration turning as an insatiable urge to address me with something further cross pollinating into some kind of exasperation as improvisation thus referrign me to as - Bhaiyaa. First decide what relationships you may be interested in making with married men here i.e. on internet then go further that is first rule of media engagement.


why do u always think dirty all the time?
Take 2: Inform public readers here first if you have never seen an "A" Movie in your life and never talked “A” talk with even your ex husband. Pick any Women magazine and it will tell you that woman talk more dirty than men and same column would be written by a woman only. Savvy!


please act mauredly now that u have crossed your 50s.even young boys of decent families control their urges in public places.
Take 3: Either address me as 50's man or address me as a young boy bze using your youthful finger the sentence that you typed are self contradictory.


u r a renowned lawyer.arent you?

Take 4: The last time I heard from your 2 inch mouth on your recently celebrated 30+ frigid frame was that I'm a Dr. OR I am some D. Arun Kumar OR I donot know Law OR I own www.mediescapes.com OR I'm from Kerala OR I live at Dwarka Or I am not even a Lawyer OR I am a divorcee OR My wife took my child away from me etc. etc. etc. I have all your fingered page links saved to reproduce before you turn back and say maine kaab kaha tha yeh main toh joke kar rahi si
J Decide this as second time curiosity kills the cat question on internet then go further which is second rule of media engagement.


so y dont you maintain that image?

Take 5: Image is made through person to crowd and or person to person in physical environments basis and not standing behind a façade - Internet (
WWW) is a façade where you can see / hear everything 24 X 7 but cannot maintain for long an image it is all about who has recently scored higher in ivy league Communication Management / Public relations the better way and each day such pundits are produced in internet and go down when bubble bursts so what you are tellign me about "image" Here there are much better professional persons whom you missed knowing about till date which amuses me most J


now suppose a  molestation victim waants to visit you in your chamber to discuss her case.
Take 6: I will thank my cashier that advances have rolled in the day’s cash box and I have a client ready to sign vakalatnama.


if she learns u have a dirty mind
Take 7: The moment she reads my mind she will be at ease narrating its - tits – bits of the incidences feeling safe that she is able to easily correlate with a dirty mind about those unfortunate dirty incidence in comparision to you who wants to maintain a sati savitri image here (on internet) ha ha. Which is actually a fact; why a family in which a murder took place actually approaches a Criminal Lawyer not Civil lawyer. A frigid woman like you does not want lawyers discussing about Digital Rape here OR does not want lawyers discuss single word about wife who files 498a here OR lawyers should not discuss here about dowry given by wife here OR you want all lawyers here reply to women queriest here OR lawyers should not put women in news here so on so forth. You have complains in each and every writings of yours see your own last 20 messages to prove yourself right
J  This Portal is your dowry to Indian public I realized that and just like you could not recover your stridhan back same way this legal Portal site will remain in public space no matter how many avatars you take every time to comment on only me – only me whether I’m going to be here or not. I think you are in love with my hard core legal works here that is why you chant every time my name or my writings or is interested even to meet me too. You get this basic legal observation devi ji straight J But I donto take my clients for dinner with coffee at home afterwards. You have a cash case let us meet - end of our talk here.


By reading your answers she will feel afraid of you.
Take 8: In actual victim justice scenario this is hypothetical situation ever going to arise; that a victim will approach my chamber as well as on her Ipad be reading all about alleged dirty mind of mine that also waiting at my reception! Only a time pass woman writer like you that we are somehow keeping your membership live here can come with such vague hypothesis’s that also in legal portal discussion forums.


so please improve your behavior and do lots of meditation. it is gud for balancing the horomones.
Take: Again after time passing on Law / legal subjects till date you are attempting to time pass on medical matters with a history of failed personal legal life.

please dont mmind my words.i am like your little sister who wants to see a change in her big lawyer bbrother.
Take: As reply to this read opening take no. 1 read with take no.3

Savvy !

1 Like

Nina Rakheja (unhappily married)     26 July 2012

 

  • This is a public forum. Avoid posting content which you do not wish to disclose in public.(no need to disclose your gender unless you have any doubt on it!)
  • Use thank button to convey your appreciation.
  • Maintain professionalism while posting and replying to topics.
  • Try to add value with your each post.don't let your value down by posting nonsense things.
  • this is for one who Rejoins adding DIRTY PICTURES

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