Mutual divorce : advice needed

@ Lady


Unfortunate query.


1. I would rather suggest to take such extreme decision calmly. The stated marriage is very old and out of wedlock a teen is amidst you two.
2. May be he might have said in a haste. Old flames do flicker with stress and pressure of changing times. May be he meant it ! Whatever..........
3. To test I would rather suggest reconciliation meetings before an Authority. Here proper Authority would be the Court appointed Counselor(s). To approach them one needs a suit matter relating to marriage filed before them so that same may be referred for reconciliation of parties.
4. Here is where you have to take a call. That is instead of making a hasty decision on mutual consent divorce probably hire a seasoned advocate services and apply under RCR (S. 9 HMA) where you are calling for restitution of your conjugal rights i.e. right for bed and board from your husband under his roof. This suit can be filed living under same roof. The moment you file it both would be referred to Counselor(s) appointed by the Court. There you state your apathy and wish to retain such old matrimony. Husband will state his reasons of speaking hastily to take mutual consent divorce. He may be roped in to tweak his behavior and may be a marriage thus get saved and traumas of a teen gets saved.
5. Failing which Mutual Consent is the option which can again be processed living under same roof. Only thing that one has to state in the joint petition is that “we are not sharing bed and board” from last 1 year. Means "no conjugal rights as husband and wife is being performed between us". Court understands such sentences especially comign from such old marriages spouses 
6. On question of one time alimony and child support read with custody atleast jointly decide what is enough for enough of both of you as there is no such formula from Court to give such and such alimony (payment) for 15 years old marriage. Each case are different and both of you can amicably solve between each other how much will see you through in high inflation cost of living and who will keep the custody of child and how visitation could be amicably decided between you two.
7. But whatever course you both ultimately choose don’t involve child as stepping stone to kill each others 15 years old marital bed of roses. The child is in h/er teens and this is the time when the child needs to build h/er self esteem and not live a life under depression kind of state that it is because of h/er,  parents are taking divorce!

Sit calmly, think, tweak something here – something there then decide and confidently lead ahead with child best interest saved.


All the best.

Before the estranged couple come before the divorce court seeking mutual consent divorce petition, they can and should discuss and come to an agreement on the following matters: 1.  how much permanent alimony / monthly payment he is willing to pay to her (if she is in distress condition like you) 2.  who will keep the child permanetly and what are the visiting rights to non-custodial parent?  If the child is allowed to be retaining by the non-earning spouse like you, for the child's maintenance how much he will pay?  If he has any permanent immovable properties, at least one residential house for the divorced wife shall be bargained for her future stay.  While discussing about permanent alimony / monthly maintenance, my suggestion is to seek lumpsum amount, as there is possibility that if monthly maintenance agreement is reached, he will not comply it and for its execution, you have to visit courts time and gain.  once you both reach on these important points, then you both can move mutual consent divorce petition and one year separation for filing this petition is a technical necessity, which can be overcome by intelligent petition drafting. 

Unlike people here,  who says that please live in marriage even though it means dying everyday in the relationship - I recommend comming out of relation ammicably.

Please sit with your counterpart, talk different things - many goof points has been recommended in the above thread.

Most important is be mentally ready for 'to be" world and be ready to take care of yourself.

Thank you tajobsindia!

ofcourse i will not be taking any decision in haste. But as I am by myself and all alone in this situation, it is good to know my rights. I can give the answer to his threats like get out of my house.

Thanks again and it is a great relief.

Yes Shankar, I do agree. instead of living in dead relationship it is good for everyone to be free.

The one year living seperately period is not to be taken literally even if husband and wif are living in the same house even in the same room, but not as a husband and wife - the period would be taken into consideration.

As regards your maintenance - mutual consnet gives you the flexibilty of deciding on an amount lump sum or monthly. Secondly if your husband is not ready to bear the responsibility of your sustenance - don't give him mutual consent and seek maintenance