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chandermohan (proprieter)     27 March 2012

Disturbed marriage

Dear sir,

           I have been married to my wife for last 3 year. We had small diffrences and had frequent fights for small things and she has left 4 times in last 3 years, but somehow we had convinced her and she came back. But last time we had fight she left on 25 Dec and before leaving she filled a complaint in police. After few days in we wer called by the police and my wife and my ilaws were also called in police station. She had complaint that i am a regular drinker, does not give her pocket mony, use to abuse her parents and all small thing and my complaint was she use to abuse my mother and sister. After listening both parties police convinced me and her that all these thing are small fights which happens in most of house, she agreed that she will come back witin 2 or 3 days. When i called her after 3 days she refused to come and told me that my sisters inlaws will sit and first we will have the disscusion then she will come. My sisters inlaws went there and after all the disscussions she agreed that next sunday they will come to our house. Next sunday when she was called at that time they made some excuses and started postponing the metting. After another 2 month finally we sat and had disscussion on 25 march and all was setteled and she agreed that she will come on friday. Next morning i called up but she did not ansewered my call, i called her elder sister and she told me that not her sister is telling that her problems have not been solved and again is not willing to come back. In my family we are Only me , my mother my wife and 6 Months old daughter and in her family there is her mother chacha and 2 more sister who are married.They dont allow me to meet my daughter at all. I dont want a divorce but instead want to live with her and my Daughter. This same story was haapened with my elder sister in law and she also lived at her parents house for almost 8 months and after that my inlaws forced my brothrt in law to get separated from his parents which he did. in my case they are not telling me directly to get separated from my mother. I want to know wether they can file a dowry complaint as in the complaint filed earlier dowry demand was not mentioned. Please advice me what to do to bring her back and liv with me happily and is there any way legaly to do so.

Thanks & Regards

Vivek Malhotra



Learning

 13 Replies


(Guest)

Hi Vivek

It seems that the basic ingredients of a married life i.e love, trust and respect is missing in your relation. If you really love your wife and your daughter then the easy and hassle free option for you is to kill your ego and self respect and sacrifice as per the wishes of your wife, do what she says and acts what she tell you to do NOT FOR HER but for the well being of your daughter. By God's grace may be in the future, your wife values you and start giving you affection and your bond grows over a period of time.

This is the easiest option for you rest If you can't do this then there are legal ways one is RCR but again if you follow the legal path then be ready to face all the cases like Dowry, maintenance, DV etc and so on.

India is a land of women biased legal system where Men are only considered to be a BANK for earning and paying money to his wife and children and nothing else........

Choice is yours, Since your wife is finicky this is the way I am suggesting you to manage your situation.
 

chandermohan (proprieter)     27 March 2012

As per your suggestion i have agreed to all her demands for the better future of our child, but still she is not ready to come back. Each and every time she create one or other critiria. Can me tell me what is RCR. According to me and all our relatives thinks that they want me to Apart from my mother, but it is not posiible for me . My father expired when i was 13 years old. My mom on her own brought upo me and my 2 younger sister on her own. She was a house wife when my father expired, but she started with a job of only Rs 500 and at that time we used to live in a house at a rent for 1100/-, she use to make pickel, do stiching and that is how she brought us up in this world and today we all 3 are well setteled in life. Now she has retired as a teacher so do you think it would be wise to leave her alone. my inlaws are directly not speaking to separate but i know they want this like it happened with my elder sister in law.

Kindly Reply


(Guest)

Ya I can empathise with you Vivek, Ofcourse you can not leave your mother at thsi stage of life and you have equal responsibility to her.
Actually you wife is just immitating her elder sister and her life and your wife is having self perceived notions that inlaws are bad in general and her conviction got strong after hearing her sister's stories and experience.

Get a separate home nearby your mothers house and maintain balance between your wife and your mother.

My Friend you are unfortunate to land up in this situation and particularly in India where even when a Man is right, still he is always wrong due to women biased laws, If you go through the legal route, your life will become hell by making rounds of courts and losing your hard earned money.

Find a win win solution for all and think practically and by God's grace, you never know your wife start loving you over a period of time and your life becomes normal married life.....

Think about it.

chandermohan (proprieter)     27 March 2012

Thanks Rahul For your advice, but i cant afford to maintain expences of 2 house. 


(Guest)

Remember Baazigar dialogue, Kabhi kabhi kuch jeetne ke liye haarna bhi padta hai aur haar ke jeetne waale ko baazigar kehte hain"

Bend in front of your wife and you can win her over a period of time. Jo bole karo, you will see good times come, she will also listen to you and thats how there will be mutual understanding between both of you.

1 Like

Manoj Choudhary (Advocate)     27 March 2012

Vivek,

I will not go into the details as you stated your questions  as : I want to know wether they can file a dowry complaint as in the complaint filed earlier dowry demand was not mentioned. Please advice me what to do to bring her back and liv with me happily and is there any way legaly to do so.

 

Yes they can file a complaint for dowry,. For that I will advice you to take the copy of the earlier complain filed by your wife in PS. it will help you if your wife complain again..

To bring her back you can file petition under section 9 of Hindu Marriage Act.. I advice you to file this petition as soon as before she file complaint against you..

Best Of luck..

Manoj Chaudhary Advocate.

9310155557


(Guest)

Thanks Manoj, But I have already advised Vivek to follow the family way in continuing his relation rather than getting entangled in legal ways by ending up throwing his hard earned money paying to greedy lawyers whose source of income is just making fool of clients in the name of law...... and getting the dates from the court...

Legal recourse is the last option when all the reconcilation steps FAILS and this is what you should tell in this forum.....

HK_Jain... (498a Fighter)     27 March 2012

If you still want to live with your wife follow Rahul

Otherwise send her divorce notice on the ground of cruelty.

Share your marriage date also.

chandermohan (proprieter)     27 March 2012

Thanks for your advice.I dont think that my wife will file a false complaint against me, as i think she loves me a lot. Is there any legal way were counsaling can be done to both of us so that future of the child should not be ruined and please let me know that if it is possible. One more thing i want to ask you that can some summon or some thing like that can be sent to her for counselling as i think she is in influnce of her Chacha.

chandermohan (proprieter)     27 March 2012

Thanks for your advice.I dont think that my wife will file a false complaint against me, as i think she loves me a lot. Is there any legal way were counsaling can be done to both of us so that future of the child should not be ruined and please let me know that if it is possible. One more thing i want to ask you that can some summon or some thing like that can be sent to her for counselling as i think she is in influnce of her Chacha.

chandermohan (proprieter)     27 March 2012

I was married on 1 Dec 2008

HK_Jain... (498a Fighter)     28 March 2012

Counselling can be done if you both are agree.But in your case, your wife is not with you. you can approach elder person in your family or her family who can act as mediator/counsellor.

If it is not possible, then write a request letter  for arranging the counselling in women cell.I think, It will be beneficial to you before she approach them.

Regards

Hemant

1 Like

Aishwarya (Teacher)     28 March 2012

both of u can go for marriage counseling to make it work ..and i believe u keep updating urself with all legal stuff too as i think that u should not live under such pretensions as she loves or not ..am not saying not to have faith..but u never know when moods change..so just a precaution..

meanwhile just do all what u can to save ur marriage..

1 Like

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