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pawan (b)     23 January 2012

Help in saving my sister's marriage

Dear Experts,

 

I need your help to save the marriage of my sister. I know what I am writing below is terrible from our side but please help.

 

We married our sister to a well qualified boy but for the fear of losing a good match we lied about her education as she was not graduate and some health problem. He since then has discovered the lies. It is around 1 year since marriage and my sister is living with us fr last 2 month.

 

The boy is very aggressive and so my sister to avoid getting caught said few more lies and unfortunately got caught and which lead to regular fights between them. In fit of anger my sister inadvertently said some bad things about his family members when he said bad about her family (me and family) about lying about education etc.

 

The boy asked my sister for Mutual divorce and as we are not agreeing, he then threatened us that he will file for a contested divorce case. My family in hope to resolve the issue threatened him with domestic violence cases etc if he doesn’t take my sister back and shouted the lie about him beating my sister in his neighborhood however this move went wrong and further aggravated the boy.  I know it was wrong move from our side but we did that in desperation.

 

We have since apologized to the boy but he is not agreeing. He got no documentary evidence about us lying about education. I know what we did was wrong and I am sorry for that but as they say “Vinashkaale viprit budhi”, now we want my sister to live happily with the boy. Please help with following 2 queries.

1.       Can boy take the divorce based on fraud from our side lying about education or based on regular fights between couple or based on my family telling lies in his neighborhood?  Are these sufficient?( My sister has later on passed her pending graduation exams.)

 

2.       Incase divorce happens; based on the fact that boy is well settled and earning very high salary and we in comparison are not financially sound (Infect he helped us in wedding expenses). Will judge set the maintenance amount based on his salary? What are the basic criteria for setting the maintenance amount.



Learning

 19 Replies

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     23 January 2012

first u lied.

then threatening husband to fie false case.


u should be punished and not helped out.

4 Like

Sameer12345 (SSE)     23 January 2012

Vinashkaale viprit budhi......

1 Like

(Guest)

Seems you Guys have Married for Money / Maintenance Purpose. (Sorry to use such words, But this is bitter truth, If it was not ,  you never predicted his High Salary isnt it?)

1) Why you Lied at very First place about her Education and health Problem ?
- Same problem with my Wife. She did the same thing. So I feel cheated.

2) Yes He can very much proove in Court that you guys have Lied. If he is persistent and No Maintenance for wife who Lies.

3) Putting cased on Him, will push him more away from your sister. If you really want to, this marriage work, Let her Surrender and Apologise to her Husband.

4) Still Dont work, Just walk away with Dignity with Mutual Concern Divorce (MCD). Instead Fighting more. It could back fire and Only losses will be on your side.

Sanjeev (Lawyer)     23 January 2012

There is no legal way out if you want to save the marriage the best way would be to approach them directly take some common known relatives and apologise for the incorrect things without trying any threatening. This should work if the relations are not that spoiled.

 

If it dont work you can still wait for sometime else let the Mutual divorce happen as that would save time instead of unwanted litigation. Maintenance depends on the court based on circumstances and If its a mutual consent then would need to be decided amicably.

 

I think the first option may work if you accept the faults and there is no wrong in accepting and apologising instead of being egoistic and trying to threaten.

 

The cases can be filed for threatening but that n ever make the relationship but break once and for all.

1 Like

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     23 January 2012

@ Author

Unfortunate brief before us.

1. Give time to both spouse and accept time as great healer and donot meddle between them anymore. Support your sister emotionally and encourage her to develop some skill sets and give security support. Periodically check on her depression level by inventing harmonious atmoshepre in the society that she is encouraged to keep.

2. Donot intiate any criminal / civil activity first from your side.

 

3. There are social facts that even after divorce in such cases the other spouse realizes and re-marries same spouse though lesser such incidences but they are there in our society so wait and encourage your sister meanwhile first with a job to keep her busy and donot lie henceforth within family. Past is past atleast better today and coming tomorrow.

4.
Keep maintaining status –quo of humbleness and acceptance of past lies with no questions answered and let law of human nature take its course with positive vibes spreading.

5.  
Set some year as target for waiting for her re-acceptance in that family and beyond that time limit opt in for MCD as per his side’s reasonableness and re-marry your sister on truthful note. Even if he files plain divorce / seperation accept and only plead for reasonable settlement that also before Bench as the Bench deem thinks best under such unfortunate social circumstances.

Your 2 queries answered as follows:-

1.       Can boy take the divorce based on fraud from our side lying about education or based on regular fights between couple or based on my family telling lies in his neighborhood?  Are these sufficient?( My sister has later on passed her pending graduation exams.)
Take: Not sufficient but 'end result' is divorce one day or other so no meaningful gain cometh pondering over evidentary value of non-willing relationships.

 

2.       Incase divorce happens; based on the fact that boy is well settled and earning very high salary and we in comparison are not financially sound (Infect he helped us in wedding expenses). Will judge set the maintenance amount based on his salary? What are the basic criteria for setting the maintenance amount.
Take: Status that the couple were used to clubbed with material records anywhere between 1/3rd/ to 1/5th. of disclosed income in hand is her entilement provided she is not working.  Enough discussion here on asked subject.


All the best to the lady read with your side of family.

4 Like

Ranee....... (NA)     23 January 2012

agree with Sanjeev

this is cheating...

1 Like

(Guest)

First you lied, then instead of saying sorry you threaten of filing false cases..then you ask for money ...

 

Do you have any shame ??Should you have any left , you along with your family should go to boys home and say sorry for your conduct if you want to save marriage.

pawan (b)     23 January 2012

We have aplogized to boy infront of whole community and did everything in our capacity to convince boy to give it just one more try. We did the mistake of threatening him based on a lawyer's advice which we regret. We are not behind his money, I am worried about my sister. The boy is not agreeing to forgive and give it one more chance.

Please suggest pt1, are those points sufficient for him to take divorce.


(Guest)

When trust , which is the base of marriage is not there then what is the benefit of all these things.

1 Like

(Guest)

If trust is broken then there is no point in trying to continue the relationship. Probably guys side wouldnt want to live with the kind of treatment (read threat of false cases) you gave to them.


I think Mutual consent divorce is the way out.

1 Like

Sanjeev (Lawyer)     23 January 2012

regarding your query as to divorce that is not easy and take years that too is challengable in superior court so it would not be easy for your BIL to take divorce unless you are willing for it.

Nadeem Qureshi (Advocate/ nadeemqureshi1@gmail.com)     23 January 2012

Dear Pawan This marriage is voidable ab-initio, there is no legal effect of this marriage in the eyes of law, your sister have no right to maintenance from her husband & he is no aware about law properly, otherwise file a case for annulment of this marriage and declare the marriage Null & Void. feel free to call

Sanjeev (Lawyer)     23 January 2012

Mr Qureshi think you posted in error

Shantanu Wavhal (Worker)     23 January 2012

i agree with Sanjeev sir, 

the marriage is NOT void.


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