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Mentally Depressed (will tell you later)     10 August 2011

Any complications of marrying with divorcee woman?

Marrying with Divorcee spouse is not crime as per existing law. But if any man receieves the proposal of divorcee woman, whether it will bring any complications in their married life? Whether the same will be successful in the light of present circumstances as majority of the propsal says that Innocent divorcee making the onus on their ex-in laws.Whether the same will not give rise to any mentally adjustment problems. because what is say in the hindu customs..?
 



Learning

 11 Replies


(Guest)

Copule of things

 

1. Just not go by "innocent divorcee" do your due diligence - find out what all cases went between them, how much money were excahnged as part of deal for divorce.  These will help you gauge what you can expect from her. If one has used 498a before it is all the more likely that she is going to use it against new person as she is already trained in it.

 

2.  Find out  what was the root cause of the problem - 498a, DV divorce are only sympotms, root causes are always something deeper inlcuding incomtibility, controlling nature, wealth greedy, family neglecting etc.

 

3. Find out how long she has been in market, what are she looking for - usually she will tell you the reason for last seperation in her first five requirements. For example it she had problem  with compatibility she would demand  'Spouse should be accept me as it is, respect me  and should be  family oriented.

 

You will have to apply both science and arts in evaluation.

Mentally Depressed (will tell you later)     10 August 2011

 

OH MY GOD..

Actually I am 30+ and received most of the interest from divorcees/Innocent divorcee on the matrimonial site showing interest on profiles.Most of them are represented by their brothers,sister in law seeking the telephone numbers..

I don't know the ground reality behind this. Thank you once gain for your advice

Now I am little more depressed on seeing all this

Aishwarya (Teacher)     10 August 2011

@ depressed..

Come over Your Depression first and then unleash the thought of marriage..

One should always make a first step to improve within then go for outer world..take some more time don't rush into things..equip yourself with life skills you need to regain your confidence , wisdom and faith..work on these first .

dont feel that Age is an obstruction , dont think about this anymore..

to get married you need to be right, truthful, virtuous and be able to acknowldge your good and bad and let the other person also know all this dont hide anything and even make such a rapport that the other confides in you.. this way am sure everything right will happen in your life .

No backlogs would help you to know a person, its always the PRESENT that is Worth which values the situation through his her words and thoughts that decorates the overall relation. .

we cannot authenticate what an individual would do next . Or Can we ?

its always ....

  ACTION = REACTION

Both can be controlled interchangeably by people in relationships...

remember you've got this one life, you or me really dont know about the other  one if it exists or not..well it depends on Karma I believe..anyhow.. so make it best no matter what..dont waste time in overdoing with thinking and stuff..

LIVE IN THE PRESENT ...

rgds

2 Like

(Guest)

 

Come on man....you are just 30+......you can find so many unmarried girls.

Now a days it has become fashion in girls to get married after 26-27....don’t worry..Just have positive attitude and start the quest....interact with people...socialise.....

 

I won’t suggest you to go for divorcee as everybody says they are innocent however if you know somebody personally or through some reliable well wisher...you may go for it...but please be cautious :-)

superfast munnabhai (trainee)     11 August 2011

Is there any innocent divorcee? How does it look? (lets keep extreme and rare case out of the context. talk of general mass only.)

 

 

You should rather find and unmarried girl even though she may be a bit older or so and who couldn't marry due to some obligations, responsibilities or ambitions etc...

 

 

But think again while marrying a divorcee..

 

 

Come on! ....

 

Ek bar galati ki hai to samaz sakta hai. But tum do bar wahi galti dohrao ge to uspe kya tippani karenge hum!!!

 

 

May God give you a good and appropriate options.

 

 

ye dimaag naam ki chiz badi zalim hai.

 

Aur ye saamaaj, society bhi badi ajjeb hai, Would they hire a person of criminal records or a convict, for a job ?

 

Going to court for family matters is also same.

 

Log dusaron ko salah dete hai.

 

New inning, new married life .... second chance to foster trust in the institution of marriage!

 

All these bookish words are for others and preachers of those words only talk but they never follow it for themselves.

 

 

talking is simple but implementing is not! Giving advise to others is simple but implementing it on own case is not!

 

 

Wake up! and don't get carried away.

 

Or else find such a case after a thorough check, go and talk to her ex-husband and his relative openly and decide.

 

 

Best thing is not to marry agaiin unless you have found a real match. then in that case the couple doesn't even bother whether they are married or living in!!

Aishwarya (Teacher)     12 August 2011

"AS IF" there's a guarantee to people's Behavior newones or the old's

 A divorcee  498a stuck guy could be thought of have taken dowry and barabaric or a women who imposed 498a as cruel.likely to happen ..

that's really a nice way of thinking though but seriously .. it revolves around the fact that  such cases should not marry at all or they should themselves leave the hope of living such life..and rather Noone should even try such men or women cases. And we should blindly go by Fir report and allegations from both sides..yeap..

Anyhow the point is marry anyone one "who will live with you will always live with you, in good and bad times and also with YOUR good and bad.

Find a person who accepts  for "what you are" (individual) and not "who You are" (social)..

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     12 August 2011

one must play safe,no doubt.

 

But u must have seen in LCI itself,that people who married unmarried spouses also faced problems.so its not that unmarried people are "doodh ke dhule",and divorcees are all bad.

 

do  thorough background check of the divorcee,if u intend to marry her,then only marry her after satisfying urself that she is the right partner.now whether the marriage fails or succeeds will also depend on ur destiny,whether u agree or not.

 

i may sound very old fashioned,and may also be subjected to ridicule in the replies that follow.but i strongly feel in matching of horoscopes,and in also getting the horoscope of ur prospective partner read before u take the final plunge.

 

i did not get my husbnd's horoscope read before marriage,under the garb of this so called modernity,but after marriage when i faced abuses,i got his horoscope read out of curiosity.and it analysed his nature,his conduct with his partner so well that i regret till date of not getting his horoscope read.his horoscope clearly say that he will be an extremely abusive husband,a pervert,will have psychological problems,will have bad relations with his own colleagues and relatives,will be too domianting,will sacrifice his wife's life for his mother's sake,and so on..in short he will be a sadist and an extremely selfish person.therefore his marriage will be unhappy.

 

i suffered as i tried to act too modern and did not get his horoscope read.

 

his horoscope has analysed his nature,conduct and personality very very well,which even the best detective would not have been able to find out about him.

 

rest depends on ur own personal beliefs..


(Guest)

 

@Mentally Depressed


Ashwariya is right live in present and be happy.

 

Kisi Ne Kaha Bachpan 1 Baar Milta Hai Khoob Khel Kood Karlo

Kahin Se Awaz Aai Jawani Dewani Hai Saray Maze Karlo

Afsoos Koi Ye Nahi Kehta he ki  "Zindagi Bhi Ek Baar Milti Hai Bhagavan, Ko Raazi Karlo" 

 

 dont regret over past.Enjoy your present moments that what ashwariya said.

 

HE WHO RULES MEN, LIVES IN CONFUSION;

HE WHO IS RULED BY MEN LIVES IN SORROW.

TAO THEREFORE DESIRED NEITHER TO INFLUENCE OTHERS NOR BE INFLUENCED BY THEM.

 

Buddha had said before: Life is misery, birth is misery, death is misery – everything is miserable. It was miserable because the ego was there. Now the boat was empty.now there was no misery, no sorrow, no sadness. Existence had become a celebration and it would remain a celebration to eternity, for ever and forever--The Empty Boat

 

 And dont worry dude i have a Kundli 2009 software.It also includes horoscope so send me your birth,time,place details and i will send your lekha jokha at free of cost at your mail id.;)

Roshni B.. (For justice and dignity)     13 August 2011

how will he benefit by reading his own horoscope?

 

he needs to know his partner's nature and personality before he marries her.so if he has already found a partner,he shud get her kundli read to understand her personality,her attributes as a wife and so on.

so that he can decide whether she is fit to marry him or not.

 

Ms Liberal (others)     13 August 2011

Whether your depression is due to this only?

I don't think its compulsion to marry a divorcee woman and that is through representative i.e brother,father (as you have said). The girl may not be mentally prepared for marriage may be because of mental stigma which might be carrying even after the divorce

Kindly may look upon the other alternatives and proceed only after going through other factors


(Guest)

Go for marriage friend, Life mein up-down aate rehte hain.

30+ age is not more.

Only want to say, Girls are baby/ sister/ maa/ girl friend/ wife/ your best friend in life.

But sometime, We choose wrong person or in maximum cases there is mis-understanding b/w the partners.

So best of luck and move further with +ve spirit.

SAI bless you.

 

Regards,

Abhinatre Gupt.


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