Exclusive HOLI Discounts!
Get Courses and Combos at Upto 50% OFF!
Upgrad
LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

mahesh.kalluru@gmail.com (Sr.DBA)     22 June 2011

Suggestions please

 

Hi All,

 

 

 

I have been married according hindu rituals in 2007, i am the eldest son of my parents, and mine is of arranged marriage, at the

time of the engagement i am in Belgium. 

 

The problems started from 9 month of the marriage, she asked me to send her to her parent's place for festival 

 we  came to conclusion that first 15 days she will be in her parent's house and then she will visit my parent's house on festival holidays

she too accepted this and gone to her parent's place, from there she called up me and said she is not willing to go to my parent's place

and scolded my parent's at that time i clearly heard my FIL prompting her on the phone. I kept silent after 20 days she returned with her father.

When i asked him why he did that like that he replied, she is my daughter i will take every decision, who you are to ask my daughter to visit your parents.

Then i replied him is i have married your daughter or is i am in living relationship with your daughter, if you are going to involve like this in further

i am not going to tolerate. Then he said Sorry and left from my place.

 

In Sep 2009 , we came to know that she is concieved and we both are leadign a happy life till then, for an official work i went to US

in Dec 2009, she gone to her parent's place where her sister came for holidays. Till the date i gone to US she is in perfect health state

and i have given some money to her along with my Debit card to keep up.

 

I returned on March 1st of 2010 and gone to her parent's place to see my pergnent wife along with gifts i bought for my wife and 

to be born my child. She kept all those gifts with her and she came with me to my parent's place, as i got emergency call i left to US on the 3rd of visitng

my parents. Her father came to my parent's place and took her to his place for delivery.

 

On March 25th 2010 i recieved a call from my wife stating that she is critically ill and her blood pressure is 200/140 and Doctor wants her

to admit immediately, then i asked her to give the phone to my FIL, when i asked him about the condition he said the same , and he said

doctor has given some medicine to take it immediately. I asked him whether she took it or not, his reply is NO. When i asked him why his reply is

i don't think that is serious one, let me talk to my friend who is also a doctor. This is happened at 6 PM of Indian Time. When i called up again

at 11:30 PM he said his friend also says it is critical she has to take that medicine. But still he hasn't given any medicine to her.

 

Then i called up my parent's to visit her immediately and admitt her in hospital, my parents reached their place by the morning and asked her

to admitt in the hospital and myself is on the way to India in next two days. Her Father relucantly said, no need to admit in hospital i know

what to do with my daughter, but he admitted her in the hospital by the evening.

 

On 31st March Doctors has said segerian is required and its urgent, so they did segerian on that and myself and my wife blessed with Baby Boy

in the 8th month of pregnancy. As he is pre-matured baby he is admitted in NICU,i only paid up all the hospital bills for my

wife and kid.

 

My FIL took the paid bills from me and said he will keep them for record, so i handed over them to him, he went to my wife by showing the bills

he said he only paid the bills and i am scolding him and asking him money, this one i came to know when i visited my wife and kid

 

I replied her check the hospital bills they are paid by my credit card, the number is also there on the bills, she is convincing by that

and i left from that place as she is shouting behaving madly , i thought she is in hyper tension and getting aggressive if i leave her alone

for some time she may cool for herself. But it went wrong her father and sister gone to her immediately after i left and poured some

more allegations on me saying that i am a drunkard/smoker and asking them dowry. Till the date she gone for delivery with her father

she knows i don't drink/smoke and i married her without any dowry. My Family has a strict policy of not taking dowry.

 

 

When i gone back to visit her they haven't allowed me to see my wife and kid, I tried my level best to get in touch with them, 

i sent my brother, father, sister and brother-in-law nothing went fruitfull. In the mean time i gone sick due to this and admitted in hospital,

and i am in serious condition, surgery is requred Doctors said, my father called her and informed the same,even then she hasn't came to visit me

 

Three months back i heard that she has kept name for my child by taking him to Tirupati from her cousin , then i gone to her paren'ts place

and tried to reach her her father said she is not here i sent her to my eleder daughter place, and we will do whatever we wants to do. And her distant

cousin came into picture and threaten myy father that he is going to kill me if i tries to contact her or my kid.

 

This is what guys i am facing please suggest me what to do now.

 

Thanks



Learning

 4 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     22 June 2011

@ Author

The brief is all about 'interference of In Laws in matrimonial life" You have limited options;

1.     Based on your last para (she has gone to elder daughters place...) you can once narrating short facts till date of interference of your In Laws file immediately a HCP before State HC. I am aware that you may know where elder daughter lives and can go there but then same routine interference from yoru FIL in your married life is going to happen. So with HCP what will happen is that HC will direct local police to produce your wife before HC in 48 Hrs. and once she is produced orally pray to Lordship for sending you two to jurisdiction family Court counseling center minus FIL.


2. During counseling you listen to your wife about her possible grievances and try to rectify them and if you feel she is not clearly telling you what is hidden behind then tell her it is better to have mutual consent divorce as no point every now and then FIL interfering into our lives ! This will send to her side clear message as to what may come in days to come.


3. The only possibilities are that today your FIL is interfering your matrimonial life and his married daughter is following all her father's direction where as she is supposed to back you so if you propose of divorce for both parties peace in life then possibly they may react with dowry and cruelties read with maintenance cases whose chances you have to take by contesting them. Anyhow present life is no better without court cases so even if court cases are filed by them then what worse your present matrimonial life is going to be ? 


4. As you say your side is honest and no dowry etc. taken and all maint. as duty to wife and newborn your side has cared for so why fear of court cases if ever filed by her side ! Some years in court and coming out from them and knowing them to be false will atleast make your life peaceful and you may further your carrer and second marriage etc. etc. than what it is presently is my larger views.

Many may comment on my family breaking advise, but all I know is that people come here only when they have read somewhere about some family laws and have very little knowledge about what all laws are there and want to find out remedy so to them suggesting for counseling and elder intervention and all that is not productive enough however you may call for all parties meeting of elders and place before them what they want and why FIL is interfering daily in and out into your matrimonial life and does he want divorce between you two ? Let him answer these que. before community.


If you want my medical views to your issues then I would point to child birth issues which a women faces is very common which only extended joint families in Indian context were able to help cope with in some decades back but now due to nuleus families emerging that family support system is slowly but quite fast is vanishing thus such matrimonial talks are emerging which is not your fault but your situations (overseas visits when she was pregnent and post pregnency) is the root cause possible !  I also mean Indian men quite often fail to recognise the pregnency related issues of their wives......anyhow....


Few days back I wrote a reply to another post similar to your publications as in this brief where I asked a husband to ask his in Laws few prudent que. you may read down those que. which I suggested to another queriest n if it helps in your case you may follow but it is unfortunate that these cases (reverse trend) are also there in Indian society which we are coming to know via such publications before these discoveries all we were hearing were one sided MIL vs. DIL rearmaments. 


But then we wish you and yoru matrimonial life all the very best let peace prevail in Indian homes................

2 Like

mahesh.kalluru@gmail.com (Sr.DBA)     22 June 2011

Thanks TajobsIndia,

I tried the 4 options mentioned by you, and i have recorded evidence for that, as i have recorded the conversations which went on phone and personally with my well wishers and my FIL.

1. I have filed an petition in Karnataka State Legal Service Authority on Restitution of Conjugal Rights it is due on 06/08. And unfortunately her brother in law got job in pune and shifted there, i don't know his address in pune. When i am in india he used to work in Hyderabad, i gone there and came to know that they have shifted to pune.

 

2. My Wellwishers and elders who ever gone to her place to settle the matter asked to reply that, Only  answer from her fahter is as she is asking them to talk to her father or sister everything is in hands she says 

 

     My parent's are not allowed to see my child, and they are not allowed to be in touch with me ( As of know on job purpose i am staying away from my parent even not on phone) I have to call my FIL and MIL as DAD & MOM (If i call them like that what's my relation with her . A big doubt for me ) and handover my salary to FIL.

    3. For this Option i tried orally with him when i last gone to get my wife and kid, he is not botherign to answer or anything.

4. I am not fearing for any cases, and i am ready to face them, just wants to know why they are not allowing me to see my son and wife from their mouth.

Anyway i lost 1 year and 3 months of my kid , As a last trial before going to Divorce i filed an petition of conciliation at Karnataka State Legal Service Authority

 

Thanks

Rohit Shukla (Engineer)     22 June 2011

A perfect reply and a very practical suggestion from Tajobs Sir, I concur his honest and a very clear approach. Best of Luck Mr Kalluru!

mahesh.kalluru@gmail.com (Sr.DBA)     13 October 2011

Wasted good 5 months for the solution from Karnataka State Legal Authority, she hasn't  shown her face to Legal Service authority at all. In her own words its a just  Judicial System who cares to answer them. 

 

She hasn't atteneded any concellation meeting before authority it is postponed for 4 times, Now anybody advice me on what i have to do as of now.

 

 

Originally posted by :mahesh.kalluru@gmail.com

"
Thanks TajobsIndia,

I tried the 4 options mentioned by you, and i have recorded evidence for that, as i have recorded the conversations which went on phone and personally with my well wishers and my FIL.

1. I have filed an petition in Karnataka State Legal Service Authority on Restitution of Conjugal Rights it is due on 06/08. And unfortunately her brother in law got job in pune and shifted there, i don't know his address in pune. When i am in india he used to work in Hyderabad, i gone there and came to know that they have shifted to pune.

 

2. My Wellwishers and elders who ever gone to her place to settle the matter asked to reply that, Only  answer from her fahter is as she is asking them to talk to her father or sister everything is in hands she says 

 

     My parent's are not allowed to see my child, and they are not allowed to be in touch with me ( As of know on job purpose i am staying away from my parent even not on phone) I have to call my FIL and MIL as DAD & MOM (If i call them like that what's my relation with her . A big doubt for me ) and handover my salary to FIL.

    3. For this Option i tried orally with him when i last gone to get my wife and kid, he is not botherign to answer or anything.

4. I am not fearing for any cases, and i am ready to face them, just wants to know why they are not allowing me to see my son and wife from their mouth.

Anyway i lost 1 year and 3 months of my kid , As a last trial before going to Divorce i filed an petition of conciliation at Karnataka State Legal Service Authority

 

Thanks
"

Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register