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suzzie (senior manager)     09 May 2011

love gone sour

Hii All,

My sister was in love with a guy from other caste, they both loved deeply caste was not the problem ... for 3yrs they were goin around, had physical relatioship and so on ..... but they brokeup , citing that my sister become very posseccive and would harrass him by calling every 5mins and other misunderstandings as has she would link him with any girl  .... then my parents married off my sister to some guy, she while with her husband maintained relationship with her ex-lover, and divorced her husband... now again my sister had become very posseccive of her ex-lover and she started accusing him of having affair with other girls, he broke up with her again .... now she is saying  she will commit scuicide , he cheated her and will file for rape ....  but isnt this consent s*x and my sister on her part maintained extra marital affair .... would this case in any way stand ......... what can happen if we go to police regarding this issue ?? .... the guys says he is ready to go to jail than marry her, becoz he cant bare her torture...


Kindly help .... dont pity my sis nor guy .... pass ur jugdement lawyers ...

Waiting for reply



Learning

 27 Replies

Gundlapallis (Advocate)     09 May 2011

Neither Police nor court of law can be of any help to your sister's emotional entanglement with her intimate relation - show her to a psycriatist and show them both (ex-hubby) to a family cousellor.


(Guest)

Your sister is the the most selfish girl I am reading about,and of course her lover also, who maintained relations with her after her marriage,even though he had broken up with her earlier.

 

Your sister has dug her own grave.Her lover is a very practical person who left her when he got fed up of her nature,restarted relationship with her after her marriage and left her again.I am sure he too realised that if your sister can't remain faithful to her husband,she won't be faithful to him as well,if they ever marry.

 

In all this drama,her husband has been the biggest sufferer.Why did you marry her off,after keeping her husband in the dark that she had physical relations before marriage?

Your sister is not a baby who needs pampering always,which you seemed to have given her all her life.She wanted things to happen her way all the time,and when it did not happen,she is threatening suicide and a false rape case.

 

Her false rape case won't stand in court,as there was mutual s*x with her lover.So no forced penetration and injury marks will be seen in medical test.

 

If you again bow down to her emotional blackmailing tactics and file a false rape case,her smart lover,which he is,will not keep silent.He too will hire a good lawyer who will prove that the s*x was mutual..This will defame your family in society  and your sister will be thought of as characterless and a liar,as she had physical relations before marriage,then had extramarital affair,and contd. her relations even after the divorce.

 

If you have any plans to remarry her,they will also get jeopardised,for she will earn a bad name in society
.

 

Similarly,don't pay attention to her suicide threats.She is doing so,only to get your cooperation in filing false cases against her lover.Just ignore her.

If she at all attempts suicide,the police will also investigate the matter and her lover who is already fed up of her by now will also retaliate by showing all the proofs of her overpossessive and abusive nature,in form of letters,SMSs,e-mails etc.Your sister must have surely showed her possessive and abusive nature in her e-mails too.Then he may also prove that despite her marriage,she continued her relations with her lover.

If such proofs these are shown to the judge,he too will get convinced that your sister is aggressive,overpossessive and also unfaithful in any relation and has attempted suicide just to gain attention and sympathy.The whole case will go against her and all of you will become a laughing stock and the centre of gossips in your neighbourhood,relatives and so on...Do you want such things to happen?

 

It's good that you are seeking advice and not falsely siding with your sister.

 

You become strict with her now instead of bowing down to her all the time.Your sister does't respect any relation and hence has failed twice-once with her lover and once with her husband,where the husband was not at all responsible.

 

Ypu take her to a good reputed counsellor who will give her behavior therapy and if need be,will refer her to a psychiatrist.

 

Take the above steps quickly,before it becomes serious.

 

All the best!

1 Like

Om Prakash Dhusia (HR assistant)     10 May 2011

Dear Meenal: Bravo for such an excellent piece of advice.Regards.

1 Like

Ravikant Soni (LAWYER IN JAIPUR)     10 May 2011

I am of diffrent opinion. It's a natural fenomenon. No need to go for a counseling or psychitrist as well. Meenal answered asuming all fault on the part of gal. 

Your sister was in deeply love with that person. And when someone be in love then it is natural to be possessive. This is not a wrong thing. Even every wife is possessive towards her husband.

I think any one is wrong in this story is the person 'lover'. Definitly he induced the girls for divorce.

and second faulty person is parents who without will married the girls to a person whom she do not love.

 

I suggest girl to file a case against lover for s*x abusement, alimony. 


(Guest)
 
    "

 

. And when someone be in love then it is natural to be possessive. This is not a wrong thing.

I disagree with you here.


Possessiveness and jealousy in a relationship is not love.It is insecurity and control tactics.Such people cannot give a breathing space to others.Initialy a person feels pampered and importnat when his partner feels possessive of him.But later this trait makes him suffocated and he wants to run away from the partner.

 

I think any one is wrong in this story is the person 'lover'. Definitly he induced the girls for divorce.and second faulty person is parents who without will married the girls to a person whom she do not love.


He is definately wrong,which I also stated above,but the girl is not an innocent baby.It's not that her lover hypnotised her and so she "UNKNOWINGLY" had extra marital affair with him.She is an adult and can think of her good and bad.

 

Her lover had already broken up with her before marriage.Hence her parents got her married to someone else.Therefore there was no force or duress upon her when she got married.This is also stated above by this girl's sister who has posted the query.So why did the girl have to get involved with him again after marriage?She should have felt fortunate that despite her affairs,her husband and his family could not find out about her past,and got married to her in good faith.

 

And,why did she not apply the notion of "ONCE BITTEN TWICE SHY?"After getting an experience of  "cheating from her lover",she should have remained devoted to her husband,which she did not.So she dug her own grave.

 

 

I suggest girl to file a case against lover for s*x abusement, alimony.

 

Being a lawyer this can be expected from you.As far as I can understand,she can't demand any maintenance from her lover for the period when she was married.About other legal points,I can't comment.But my intutions say that such cases won't stand in court

 

SRISHAILA.DHARANI (Advocate&consultant)     10 May 2011

Tell your sister to file a case against her ex-lover, and teach him a lesson, no to have relationship with married girl.Apart from this , pls get counselling for your sister from a doctor/ with any ngo.

srishaila/bangalore/9741425514/sdharani120@gmail.com

Gundlapallis (Advocate)     10 May 2011

Meenal's analysis is mature and perfect.  Expressions are very good. 

In my answer above i mistyped ex-hubby for ex-lover.  Hope the readers now will find some sense in my reply after correction of the mistake.

 

This line is hard to understand but is so damn true !!!!

 

"Once you lose someone, its never exactly the same person who comes back"

1 Like

Ravikant Soni (LAWYER IN JAIPUR)     11 May 2011

I think support of such a persn lover like this case lead this society to a worse end.

Meenal being a lady not supporting girl??? !!!!! Surprising!!!!

when a lover be faithfull to his lady than why the question arises to be possesive?? somewhere he peering others and the girl becoame possessive.

@meenal! Be practical and suggest like a wise person.

Ravikant Soni (LAWYER IN JAIPUR)     11 May 2011

Very funny!!

When the lover went thru physical relationship he not sufferd from her possessiveness and now when she insist for marriage he caim her voilence.. Goooooodddddddddddddd.....

 

 

AAJ KI SOCIETY KO MEENAL JAISI ADVISER KI JAROORAT HAI !!! WAH 


(Guest)


 

Rather I am surprised that you did not reply tpo the above points I raised yesterday,but diverting the topic by unnecessary replies.In other words,you are diiverting from the issues raised,perhaps because you have no reply to give.

Still I will answer your irrelevant points  above:

 

Meenal being a lady not supporting girl??? !!!!! Surprising!!!!

Even I am surprised at your immaturity and rigid beliefs that a person should ONLY SUPPORT persons of the same gender,whether they are right or wrong.So that means,you only take the cases of men in your life,because they belong to the same gender.Who taught you this fuzzy logic?


when a lover be faithfull to his lady than why the question arises to be possesive?? somewhere he peering others and the girl becoame possessive.

 

I have answered in my above post.Still I will explain..If the man cheated her before,she should have felt happy that she got settled with another man.But she was immature and selfish to again rekindle old flames with the same cheater lover,instead of being devoted to her husband.

@meenal! Be practical and suggest like a wise person.


I have already advised the most practical and wisest thing.2 persons above have also seconded my views.Or kuch?

 

AAJ KI SOCIETY KO MEENAL JAISI ADVISER KI JAROORAT HAI !!! WAH


Thanks for the compliment!

 

 

Om Prakash Dhusia (HR assistant)     12 May 2011

Ravikant Soni Ji:Yeh toa society hai aur HYPOCHRITES kahan nahi hotai.Aaapne suna nahi, ki," HAM JANAI TOA POOT AUR WAH JANAI TOA PATHAR" ya vartman advertising yug mai,"MERI SAREE USKI SARI SI UJLI NAHI, KYON?".

Thanks

zimmerzapper (student)     12 May 2011

can someone provide an english translation of mr.o.p.d's hindi post

Om Prakash Dhusia (HR assistant)     12 May 2011

It is,"Hypochrites are present everywhere in the society"and it is something like,"If you give birth to a son it is your son but if others it is a stone and not the son" and in advertising world, it may be tranformed into," Why my saree is not whiter than her". it was just an comment on Ms.Meenal's observation on the character assination of some wayword girl.

Regards.


(Guest)
Originally posted by :Om Prakash Dhusia
"
It is,"Hypochrites are present everywhere in the society"and it is something like,"If you give birth to a son it is your son but if others it is a stone and not the son" and in advertising world, it may be tranformed into," Why my saree is not whiter than her". it was just an comment on Ms.Meenal's observation on the character assination of some wayword girl.

Regards.
"

 

 

 

Mr. OPD,

Earlier I ignored your remark,where you called me a hypocrite.However now I want to say something..

It seems you like to argue with people.I have been observing all your posts full of negativity,where you criticise India's systems,lawyers,etc etc etc.But I admired them secretly since I don't believe in feel good talks,but in speaking up for  truth,however bitter it is.

You called me a hypocrite but I think you yourself are the biggest one.

 

In your first reply you appreciated my advice to the author,where this so called character assasination was done.But in your 2nd post,suddenly you realise I was assasinating someone,& therefore started passing personal comments on me.

I simply told the author the possibilities that may arise if she files all such cases.She's not my relative who's bound to follow me.

I did not show any empathy to the girl or her lover.Same was also requested by the author,that we should give her a practical advice without showing pity to her sister or her lover.

 

Can you exactly point out what characater assasination was done by me?Tell me word by word...I will wait to see your responses.

 

If you feel I called her mean and impractical...yes she is.Imagine your own son marrying a girl who had past physical relations with someone that were hidden from you.Even after marriage your daughter inlaw has affairs with the old lover and divorces your son.How will you feel in this entire episode?Blissful or used and cheated?

If you hear of somone cheating on her hubby and divorcing her for another man,and later filing rape case against the same man,what impression will you get?The author also said very specifically that her sister wants to file a rape case.Not any cheating case...You tell me,can a girl file a rape case against her lover,with whom she had consensual s*x?If yes,I will give a thumbs up to this very basic legal knowledge you may have....

Those who find truth harsh and bitter will call me hypocritic and many names...but i don't care.Because they say something...but act just the opposite...preaching idealism in other posts of LCI,but calling others hypocritic if others also do the same


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