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lawhands (manager)     15 March 2011

Reconciliation

Hi..

One of my friend was married 2 yrs back.she was harassed and tortured by in laws.they took lot of money frm her parents and later her hubby also started abusing her and hit her. then she ws deserted as husband met wid accident..but husband ws told that she left home herself.but in laws made her go..nw after 9 mnths of seperation andreconile attempts thru relatives etc,, the husband gave her talaq over email....besides he ws threatening 2 remarry..

the girl then filed a 498A and maintenance case and DV..however nw the hubby is saying he always loved her and wanted 2 be wid her..what shud she do? she also loves him.. is it possible thru counselling that happens thru maintenace case in court..does family court counselling really help..????

she is a muslim..

as i dnt kno muslim laws and indian laws what shud i tell her..

is divorce done as per muslim law?

is der any way dey both can live 2geder seperately?

what is d procedure as pe court?



Learning

 33 Replies

M.Sheik Mohammed Ali (advocate)     15 March 2011

if she will ready to live with her husband, then she will attn the counselling at the time of proccessing her case, at the time she and her husband to tell ready to live with her, or she wont to live with her husband then go court proccessdings

lawhands (manager)     15 March 2011

hi..thanx for reply..

But the issue is now she is scared as she had filed 498a and they were arrested..and before any1 comments on it..i wud like 2 say that IT WAS A TRUE 498A case..(she was truely tortured)

SO nw she is scared as whether her husband is really loving her and want 2 giv a ssecond chance or he is taking a revenge..

also, some muslim ppl say ,,the divorce is done and some say its not done..what to do?

they are not on talking terms..so how does she find out.. can court counselling help..does counselling help couples to live seperately without parents interference?is it possible?

plz help..

Hemant (Law)     16 March 2011

I doubt the above query, i think lawhands is asking on behalf of himself/herself. How can you say it " WAS A TRUE 498A CASE"  Whatever may be, i would like to express here-

Once 498A filed by wife, If false (most of them are false), definitely the husband will not come to wife or allow her to be with him. 

Ok, even if true, it will be a big risk in future too for husband to face criminal cases. Hence here too, there is less chances of taking back wife, even by reconcillation. 

498A has never joined families(even if it is a true case), it only has been breaking families. THIS IS THE DICTUM.

Once 498a filed, just look for divorce. I dont see any future in this marriage even by reconcillation. 

Avnish Kaur (Consultant)     16 March 2011

HE must be going to teach her a lesson, risk of life and limb..........

lawhands (manager)     16 March 2011

Hi Thanx all for reply
I wud like 2 ask a simple quesn..why wud a girl resort to court/police if things are
sorted out amicably?
its only when the party isnt ready 2 even compromise a bit then girl thinks of such things..

Besides i wud like 2 brief u about this girls story!!
During theses 9 mnths all attempts of reconcile were tried!! THRU relatives,counselor etc..
But even after that the boys family wasnt ready 2 budge!!
initially this guy dint attend ounselling sessions..throwing attitude!!
later on after 2 sessions when counsellor identified few probs and solution- this guy wasnt ready
2 accept!!! let me tell u in this case the counsellor was a professional and from boy's side itself..
Still when he suggested few alternatives- the boys family refused..besides the boy wanted the girl and her family 2 come say sorry and touch nose dwn at his parents feet!!!
Is this justified?
the fact is when girls bow dwn u men make them bow and insult to lowest levels!!!
u say u cannot become slaves of wife and leav them ,then why do u  expect the same from a woman????

the girls family were ready for reconcile also..and if things dint work out then they said
lets seperate amicably!!!
but guys family wasnt ready 2 return or seperate amicably also!! instead they taught him 2 keep her
langering for few mnths and divorce!!!

the answer is simple -- when men dnt understand simple language of relatives,counsellor,  and use
divorce as a sword 2 kill women --thats d reason laws like 498 are in place!!!
and when a woman uses it- the men cry as if big deal!!

nw back 2 ur quesn!!!
yes i know dis story so well becoz the girl ismy cousin sister and childhud frnd and also the
boy is my cousin brother and childhud frnd!!!
so i had d liberty nd chance of analysing nd listening both sides of story~~and thats d reason
i said its a true 498 case!! any more doubts on dat?

1 Like

lawhands (manager)     16 March 2011

now being a cousin of both!! i dont want things 2 blow out so badly!

so what nw if things are in court? is it that courts ar only for breakups??

is der any way out? cant my sis and bro live 2geder happily?

becoz i cant see dem both go thru d pain..

sumana (practice)     16 March 2011

in my opinion... the girl should simply get divorce charging a lumpsum alimony... and forget  it.. start life afresh.when 498A is filed then why going back... and I cannot understand why the girls think themselves that they are so helpless ... they can do evertthing they want..... so build up your confidence .. and fight the case for one time alimony. not maintance on a monthly  basis.

1 Like

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     16 March 2011

in muslim marriages husband take upper hands, as they get talaq as and when it required.

498a and dv applicable on mohamedan mariages also.

if husband agrees then reconciliation will work otherwise not.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     16 March 2011

' u say u cannot become slaves of wife and leav them ,then why do u  expect the same from a woman????'

 

THIS IS NOT THE PROPER LANGUAGE.

IF YOU WANT TO URGUEMENT WITH SOMEONE THAT IS SEPARATE.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     16 March 2011

besides he ws threatening 2 remarry..

HE LEGALL CAN DO IT.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     16 March 2011

is divorce done as per muslim law?

if the marriage held under mohamedan law then talaq available but if under special marriage act, talaq not available.

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     16 March 2011

please read legally instead of LEGALL

Arup (UNEMPLOYED)     16 March 2011

498a, dv creats pressure upon a man and a little bowdown possible but a muslim girl can not bowdown her husband as a hindu girl can.

 

therefore if you do not want to keep the family then a little compromise with him is required but if you feel to destroy the relation then just leave the relationship. 498a and dv will be continuing even after talaq.

Hemant (Law)     16 March 2011

You need not try to justify the pro-women laws. Every one know how they are mis-used these days. Even supreme court to the trail court know the actual situation regarding such laws being mis-used. Supreme court has termed it as LEGAL TERRORISM. If you are speaking on behalf (hope so) of the couple, then restrict your post to there itself. If you are argueing about the genders, then i have other valid points. Do you think what you heard from your ? cousin? friend (what ever) is total truth, nothing but the truth!

Wake up, None can guess what happens within four walls between husband and wife. Maybe, there is harrassment from wife on husband in certain matters. Not that, it is always the fault of husband or fault of wife. What made husband to behave such a manner? Is wife in any way been responsible for the things within four walls? Watever you heard from wife is gospel truth? Did you try to get the husband side of the story? Or you just beleived wife story???
Sometimes wat you see or hear is not always truth. Family issues are very sensitive. Particularly if one of them wants to continue the marriage. It is not always run to police or court.
nw back 2 ur quesn!!! 
She has used the deadliest weapon on husband and got him arrested too!!! And you justify that action of wife. Wonderful ! I am not saying that 498a should never used, but was it necessary in the first place, especially if wife wanted to live together.

If husband used to harrass/torture her, there are many law provisions to use by wife, keeping 498a as last resort. You say she has used even DV and maintainence. Well, By getting him arrested in 498a, wife has made him lose his reputation in the society too. Dont you think wife has damaged hubby more than he (might have) damaged? With so many pro-woman laws, is it a fair thing? No, It should have been handled in a better way. I personally wish they both understand each other and live in harmony. I need not argue with you hence forth. All the best for the couple.


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