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needhelp (partner)     28 February 2012

Please suggest

Dear LCI members,

I need suggestions with my current situation, let me brief my position.

We got married almost 14 yrs ago and got two kids, both are above 5 yrs old. From the last 4yrs we are apart because of our issues, kids are with her and she didn't shared them with me up untill now.

She filed for guardianship of the kids and I filed RCR, two cases are combined and coming close to hearing. I am always open to reconcile and to get together but I always got negative from her side. I never wished to divirce or loose my children.

Recently we are communicating, she too don't want to divorce, but again she don't want to get together. She wants to share the kids down the road, I am very happy for that.

It is difficult for us to attend the case, since both of us are living abroad, for that matter both of us and our kids are not Indian citizens. We are from india, got married in india. We can only be India at max 4 weeks. I am thinking of leaving my current job and stay in India until these cases end, because I didn't wish to loose neither my rights on the kids nor my rights. I know I don't get anything even If I win both the cases, they only favor me some safety.

Her aim is to get full guardianship of the kids and some more money, she already had enough share of what we earned together. My aim is to not to loose my rights on the kids, money is not my higher priority.

She wants me to with draw on the guardianship. I am proposing I can withdraw from my side, if she withdraws from her side. Can we be able to that? When the cases are combined. I initially planned to apply for visitation rights, it is very difficult for my kids if she didn't prepare to share them. I don't to force her either on this.

Please suggest what should I do? We don't want MCD either. I know it is very tough and sensitive. I will continue to convince her to get together, but it doesn't seem like she will agree.

Both of our interest is kids only, but she is not ready to join me and needs time to share kids.

I trust her a lot, but it doesn't seem like she trust me for so many reasons.

Your help will be greatly appriciated.

Thanks in advance,

Needhelp.



Learning

 3 Replies

Adv. Gulammayudin A. Gagdani (LEGAL ADVISOR)     28 February 2012

well in you situation what can be said is you both can withdraw the case by choice.

other thing is normally this kin of matter stays for long and have also noticed in some cases if matter is delayed and you apply to famliy courts i.e. for mediation expert will try to resolve the matter otherwise you may have to wait for long to resolve the issues, and it will be better if you allow her some type and show that she can trust you always but it is not so easy. you may have to continue your legal fight and on the other hand you have to allow some more time. 

 

Dr J C Vashista (Advocate)     02 March 2012

Increase your visitation with kids, I am sure children shall help both of you to come togather.

Hardly you shall get in litigation, sit togather and sort out your past mistakes applying "FORGIVE AND FORGET" formula, definetly you shall suceed and enjoy.

Best of luck

needhelp (partner)     14 March 2012

I asked my lawyer to file for interim visitation, but he is saying we can't do that, since there is a stay. Moreover he is saying since it is at the final stage, there is no use. Case is sill post poning with two month interval dates.

I am worried that, it is already 4 years that I saw my kids with further delay it will be very difficult for me to miss them.

My lawyer is trying to convince judge to get the evidence from both of us in adjournments. He is saying that case won't prolong too long from here, hardly matter may be settled within 6 months. I know it all depends on number of cases pendng in the court and it resources. Do you think it will prolong like this for much more time?

Mean while is advisable for me to file a case here in US? My aim is to get in touch with kids slowly, few occational visits in beging and want to share the kids, like part of the week. It is very possible in US to get the partial custody and it is quite common. I can invest on high flying lawyers although it very expensive here, ready to sacrifice for the kids.

My attempts to convince her to share the kids, going nowhere. Please help me with any suggesstions.

 


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