Hindu boy and a muslim girl marriage

Mr. Rakesh,

    I suggest you first convense parents of both sides. Indian citizen can marry a girl of any religion. so after marriage she approach leagelly to convert into Hindu.

There is no way of convening our Parents because they are not like other. They don’t  care about  their child They only care about their respect in the society .So please tell me 1 st what I have to do?

There are 2 ways in which you can get married.

(1) You remain a Hindu and she remains a Muslim. You get married under the Special Marriages Act. Afterwards she can convert to Hinduism, if both of you want so.

(2) Go to an Arya Samaj Mandir and both of you become Arya Samajists (Hindus). Afterwards you can get married following Arya Samaj ritual.

You are loving the girl for the past 5 years. It means you are loving her since you were only 17. How old is the girl? Has she reached the age of consent for girls?

Also both of you beware of honour killing.  

file application spl. marriage act for ur marriage

Changing name and marriage are two different things. She can change her name and then get married or both of you can get married and then she can change her name.

 You are just 22 and she is 21. Have both of you or either of you have sufficient means to lead a married life and support a family? As you are getting married without the consent of your respective parents, they may abandon you, if not do some thing like honour killing or forcibly take away your wife even after marriage. Further other than financial, young couples will need so many other kind of support. Your families may not support you if and when you are in distress. Many think that they can marry or do things without caring for the society around. That is not right. And when you say society your parents are also a part of it and they will only first come to your support if and when need arises.

 Further each of you may have different food habits and family customs. Both of you should have tolerance and spirit of accommodation. You may be in the habit of going to temple and she may like to go to a mosque, her willingness to become a Hindu, notwithstanding. You may feel that your children should be brought up as Hindus and she as Muslims. Under the Special Marriages Act, children will have no religion until they reach the age of 18. Just by changing her name to that of a Hindu, the Society may not accept her as a Hindu. She may not be allowed to enter temples. No Hindu priest may do service to your family. That is why I say that if she is willing to become a Hindu, both of you go to an Arya Samaj Mandir and become Aryasamajists. Aryasamajists are Hindus only. Aryasamaj was a movement founded by Swami Dayanand Saraswathi in the last century to enable conversion from other religions to Hinduism. Even if orthodox temples do not allow your wife to enter, both of you can always go to Aryasamaj Mandirs. Aryasamaj priests will perform services to you. If you have dedicated friends to support you, that would be very important.

 It is not because that your parents do not care for you, but it is because they care too much, that they may object to the marriage. After all, so far, both of you grew up under their care only.

Taking into account all these things, if you still wish to get married, go ahead.

beautiful reply from Dr. Ramani.

I understand your Point. But we know each other more than 5 year. Nearly 8 year. We know each other very well. She always told me that she want to be a Hindu. And we don't believe in Gods or maintain to go any Tamale or something. We don’t have any restriction to eat food or cloths. Mean we don't maintain any restricted ourselves by some Religious. We just remember one thing that is we are a human and we should fill our Human Being each and every moment. So we have no problem to leave with each other.

 But our only problem is this society Because this society is not having a good Human being Maximum People think about Cast, Religious etc. we just read all those good words in our childhood book’s and when we become adult we don’t even think about those good word, written in our child hood books-Human have only Religion, cast that is Human being.

So I decided to do the marriage without telling our parents .Then we will handle her parents fast (Police case, Honor killing, safe my wife – WE KNOW THOSE GONNA BE HAPPENED), then my Parents.

SO, Please don’t suggest us about food, Temple, Cloths, Culture, Child – We can handle that. PLEASE PLEASE suggest us

1)     1 )  After reading our post and some other’s we decided to first change her name then marriage. So, Is it possible to give a Hindu type name to Muslim girl (I am not going to change her last name Just First & Middle)

    And who many days it will take? And procedure?

2)      2 )   Then I will go for Special Marriages Act, But How can I stop the letter after register was done, that is going to send to our parents.

She is free to adopt any name, Hindu, Muslim, Christian or any other. There are two ways of doing it. (1) She adopts a Hindu name of her choice or your choice. If necessary you can hold a ceremony by calling a Hindu priest or otherwise, if you feel so. The name will be used only for unofficial purposes. Retain her present name for the purpose of future official purposes. Do you know that the film star Dilip Kumar is actually a Muslim? He has a different Muslim name. I do not know which one he is using for official purposes. (2) She executes an affidavit changing her name before a Magistrate. It would be better if the affidavit is witnessed by two other witnesses. Later the affidavit can be registered with the Registrar of Assurances. There will be stamp duty.  I do not know how much is it? It will also depend on the State, where she executes and registers the affidavit. After the registration she should publish a declaration in at least two prominent newspapers announcing her old name and her new name. It is possible that the Registrar who is eventually going to register your marriage may be the same as the one who will register the girl’s affidavit also.

Which letter are you talking about? The Registrar will send no letter to anybody, unless your father or her father is his friend. Further whether your parents like it or not, you have decided to get married. Let anybody write to them or inform them. What does it matter?

Again I tell you, religion and caste are not all about God or going to temple or mosque. They are ways of life. Religion and caste are not separating people. It is human nature to split and group into many for their social security and cultural satisfaction. The Quran says that Islam will unite the whole of humanity into one and it will not be raven with schisms. But what happened afterwards? Islam split into many sects mutually antagonistic to each other. Hindu scripttures speak about only four castes. But now how many castes are there. Mixed marriages created only more castes. They did not dissolve them. Mixed marriages were there always. What is required is mutual tolerance and accommodation. Children’s books are also written by human beings. The same human beings will be different in their own lives.

I know there is no use of telling you all this. Young people in love will listen to nothing. Their single pursuit will be to get married. That was why I told you, go ahead.

Some people told us that if we are going to register then after marriage register a letter will going to dispatch to the address in the address proof. So, is there any way to Stop it.

Go to Arya Samaj Mandir.  They change her religion in Arya samajist and perform marriage ceremony and issue certificate immediately and that certificate is valid.  In this method, they will not issue any notice to parents.

You can follow the advice of Advocate Chandu. It is very simple. If you are very particular about registration, you can go with the certificate and the Arya Samaj priest who performed the marriage.

When you both are in the bond of real love, without caring for religion, caste, community, society, etc., you must have the guts to face the consequences, whatsoever be that.  Therefore, it is surprising to  hear your apprehension of  the letter from the Registrar reaching you parents.  Be bold and brave enough to meet that situation and go ahead with your decision if both of you have the will, means and ways to live together.  Of course, it is for both of you to deeply ponder over all pros and cons of your decision of inter-religion marriage and arrive at a well considered final decision and thereafter be ready to face together all future consequences thereof without any kind of future disputes or differences between you in whatever situation you will be.  Marriage through Arya Sama Priest is again a religious affairs to which you don't subscribe.  Better way is to marry under the Special Marriage Act.  Best wishes.

Getting married Aryasamaj way does not mean that you believe in the tenets of Aryasamaj. Your immediate aim is to get married and not to defy religion. If you take your fight, if one can call it a fight, as a fight against religion or as fight against your parents, you may have to face unnecessary and avoidable difficulties even just to get married. If do not care for the feelings or opinions of your parents, that does not mean that you send invitations to them and see what happens. So get married the easiest way in an Aryasamaj Mandir. It does not require you to pray to god, go to temple or perform any rituals except the one on the occasion of the marriage.. You can live as you like after the marriage. Both of you will be required to wear sacred thread at the marriage. But no body need bother to retain the thread after marriage.

On the other hand for marriage under Special Marriages Act, you do not have to renounce your respective religions. After the marriage, if you so wish, you can go to temple and she can go to mosque. But there are cumbersome procedures before the marriage. You have to give, I think, a month’s notice of your marriage. The notice will be placed on the Notice Board in front of the registrar’s office. You have to give proof of age, proof that you are not already married etc.

 Further Hindu Marriage, Christian Marriage or Special Marriage is not a question of religion only. It is also a matter of post-marriage laws, which govern you and your marriage.