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Suraj Kumar (Business)     14 May 2014

Please guide

Hello All,

I need a serious guidance. Actually I am a divorcee and recently one of my friend who is working in the same organization where I am working, have approached me to get married with his sister-in-law who is single. He has arranged a family meeting wherein I got a chance to talk to the girl and I cleared my doubts whether she is ok marrying with me knowing I am a divorcee and had a child in my earlier marriage and she confirmed that she has no problem with that.

Brief facts where I am confused and could not make the decision:

1. The girl is from a poor family and belong to a Scheduled Caste family

2. She is single and 10 years younger to me

3  I am the only child and has my mother living with me (Father is not alive). Having my own flat in Delhi and earning close to 80k a month with a reputed company

I am afraid as it only seems to be relationship out of greed as see no point of an unmarried girl marrying a divorcee 10 years elder to him. 

In case if I go ahead what complications will I get if it becomes a blackmailing relationship. All the property is in the name of mother. If the things go good then I will be the lucky one however if they go on the other side, I feel that I will be on the weaker side as they must be having some special privilege being SC and having an unmarried status

Please guide

 



Learning

 9 Replies

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     14 May 2014

why think negative in the first instance as you said there family is poor and may be your friend seening your problem in your first marriage and divorced it he came to a conclusion that there is no problem from your side and you came out from the marriage 

as you got doubt so consult your well wishers and discuss about the same and with your mother and come out with a answer because here you have to see your mother and your child well being .....

Mahesh R. Sonawane (Lawyer/Fight for justice)     14 May 2014

Please confirm the back ground of the family of that girl...

get information about there social status and then clear these doubts from your friend... and thereafter take steps...

adv. rajeev ( rajoo ) (practicing advocate)     14 May 2014

What happens in future who knows.  Before going for the marriage think twice and proceed.

Laxmi Kant Joshi (Advocate )     14 May 2014

i suggest you before proceeding further you must know about the girls back ground and also take advice from your mother as she is from sc , you are also thinking in a right direction , you just wait and take help from your relatives and select the girl according to your age and your cast you will get it as you are earning well .

Kapil Gupta (Advocate)     14 May 2014

I think you should marry to a girl of same age. You can marry to this girl bug after a deep inspection of her family background. It'll be the best to marry a girl of same age. For anymore help, you can contact me on my e-mail id or my mobile. E-mail: kaypee.gupta@gmail.com Mobile: 9795117398 Thank you.

great india (manager)     14 May 2014

Adv joshi has hinted you the best way. Think twice. Even if you finalize, you can opt for a pre nuptial agreement. Keep a strong paperwork brother. I still suggest think twice. Age matters

Summersail (Service)     15 May 2014

Cross verify the family background of the girl.. There is a famous saying in our area,"Dont look at the girl look at the Girl's mother." As she is the one who has nurtured her, The girl will end up being the same kind.

Looting by using feminine laws is a kind of disease. It runs in the family of such people hence check if someone in her family is involved in filing false cases or involved in any such kind of mischeif. If you get a single negative hint run miles away from beauty queen.

Go for Kundali match and also try to give some time for relationship before getting married.

Saurav (Engineer)     15 May 2014

see SC or not SC , rich or poor dosent matter. In my own experience, I have seen saintly girls from the so-called Lower castes and seen absolute witches from the so called upper castes....

 

In your case the problem are 2:-

a. AGE difference is a LOT. 10 years is A LOT of age difference. So in your case my advice is DONT GO AHEAD.

 

Look at girls of your own age or max 2-3 years younger.

 

With 10 years Age difference you will face HELL lot of problems......Morally and ethically also it is wrong to marry girl with 10 years age gap.

Suraj Kumar (Business)     15 May 2014

Thank you all for the nice suggestion.. I am finally rejecting this proposal as don't want to go ahead with confusion and fear. If I would have known the girl or atleast something about her family, I would have proceeded further but the fellow members are correct that age matters whereas being a divorcee I would need a mature and broadminded gal


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