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Ritwik (IT)     11 September 2014

Matrimonial discord

I got married on 9th December 2009. I have a son who is just over two years of age now. Going through immense mental sufferings due to the martial discord.
Following point may best depict my present situation in brief
 
1.Does not have a conjugal life [in fact, she barely communicates with me]
2.My wife has completely withdrawn herself from my social life
3.Since last two years, she spends most of the time in her parental home
4.She does not listen to me or even doctor's suggestions regarding my son and does whatever she/her parents wants
5.Does not even talk to my parents since last four years [though they live in the same residence] and often uses derogatory wards to my parents
6.Contuniously pressurize me for a separate residence for her
 
Till now I have taken following steps
1.Tried several times to reconcile, only got rejections
2.Approached her parents several times to make her understand, but in vein
3.Apporached Psychological counsellor, who told to bring her to him, which she refused 
 
Last Sunday my wife wanted to leave home and 
her father and uncles came to my house. An altervation took place and her father threatended to put me and my parents behind bar.
He also said that he would sell my house and claim share.
Later on, my wife agreed to meet a councellor or marriage councelling. She also agreed that she would bring normalcy back in our matrimonial
relationship. But just from day after she started behaving like she was doing before. Kindly suggest me what shall I do.


Learning

 6 Replies

Tajobsindia (Senior Partner )     11 September 2014

1. Try more to maintain status quo on matrimony if that is also what you want otherwise Court is there to part parties. 

2. Agree to take separate residence (which she insists too and not tried by you) and see if her behavior changes for the better of parties relationship r/w minors welfare. 


[Last reply]

Ritwik (IT)     09 October 2014

Hello Tajobsindia,

           thanks for your suggestion. May be I will move to a separate residence but don't you think forcing husband this way to leave his parental home and the kind of activities she has been pursuing for such along time amount to mental cruelty to me?

Ritwik (IT)     15 October 2014

What if I create provisions for separate kitchen so that she can do her stuff all her own?

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     15 October 2014

She is not talking to you for the last one year, not talking with your parents for the last 4 years, not taking care of the son, then what is she doing?  How is she spending her time?  First, as suggested, take a separate home for you,your wife and son, near about your  parents' house.  If she is not a working woman, insist her to get some job so that she can spend the day time in the society.  Next, if she accepts to take up a job, engage a full time maid to do domestic chores and do not insist that the wife has to do outside job as well as domestic chores.  Share the rented house charges half-half.  I can understand your problem and I have sympathy.  But at the same time I point out that when wife is asked to leave her parents and stay with the husband and his parents, we do not see any illogic and accept it as custom.  If wife asks the husband that just leave your parents as I have left, we see the unreasonableness in such a demand.  Any how, without going into such ideological issues, to protect your family life, I suggested you above methods.  If you insist of going to court, o.k. you can file the divorce case on the ground of mental cruelty and the result of the case totally depends that how you bring your evidence to the satisfaction of the court.

Ritwik (IT)     16 October 2014

Thanks for your suggestions Adv. Chandrasekhar.  She spends most of the time with her parents. I believe her mother takes care of everything there. When here, she does domestic chores for herself and child only, completely ignoring  me and my parents. Recently we went to marriage counselor and she agreed to bring normalcy back in our married life if she can do her domestic chores independently (not in joint family format with my parents). She again went to her parental home for couple of weeks now. When she comes back, I am going to provide her with provisions as agreed upon. 

I do not have any willingness to go legal. But if this provision does not work, I will for sure.

Adv k . mahesh (advocate)     16 October 2014

why you have taken your wife for marriage conusellor you have not mentioned 

because the daily chores which she is doing does not need any conunsellor to solve the problem it is you slowly change her behaviour and bring normalcy 

what disturbances have occured between you both should first resolve the issue as you said you stay with your parents so here may be she is not comfortable with your parents so do not force for some time to pressure her to do all things which spoil your relation 

in my view taking separate residence and leaving your parents at this age will give her more chance to behave like this 

alright if you and your parents also want the same then plan a residence near your parents house and see for normalcy in your wife behaviour 


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