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kumar (doctor )     13 December 2013

Kindly help me

Sir/Mam

I got married on june 2011. we both are professionals(doctors). It was an arranged marriage. She knew about my family & financial status before marriage itself. Since iam only son to my parents i requested her to stay in joint family which she accepted before marriage. After getting married within 1 week she started behaving odd. she started avoiding my parents totally without any reason. she would cook separately in the same house.when I asked about that she shouted at me and said that i have to bear all these things if want joint family system. She also added that "I accepted joint family system before marriage .But now im saying I wont accept- what u can do ?"I never took these issues to Inlaws thinking that it would be alright soon.  she repeatedly mentioning to me that my parents are third persons and i should not give importance to them. Even when my mother prepares food for her she wont accept. Over trivial issues she would become more irritable and started throwing her mobile over me. I tried to make her calm. I tried to maintain good rapport with my inlaws , took her to cinema , took her to dinner  & spend more time with her. But inspite of all these she once reported to her father that she was not happy. Once her father came to our home and after enquiring all problems he asked sorry for her behaviour & said that he will advice her. Meanwhile she got concieved and her mother after coming to know all her behaviours through my wife she called me and cried and requested to bear her till Valakaapu function. After she has gone to her parent house for delivery, i have been to my inlaw house almost every week till delivery. she gave birth to a male child by april 2012. After birth every week along with my mother i used to go inlaw house to see my child. Around 20th day of my son birth when i along with my mother went to see my child...My mother in law behave so badly with me over a trivial issue on discussion of  baby name function. my motherin law become more irritable and ordered me to go way from the home. My wife was seeing all these things and was keeping calm. Since the situation was very bad I asked my wife to come along with me . But my wife refuse and added that she will come after few months only when i provide her separate home . I came back and never returned to that home till now. Meanwhile she started blackmailing that I should leave my parents and come with her otherwise she wont come . With lot of pains i waited for few months. by around 9 months of my son's birth she came to my home along with few of relatives and demanded separate home . when i refused she shouted at me so badly standing out of the streets and went back . Her parents again convinced me that they will talk to her and bring her again. but only after 1 month she came back with the same demand . when i refused she again went back this time her parents started hiding all the happenings & started scolding me . after that at 3-4 different times through phone along with relatives they tried reunioun but nothing worked well. she expressed she will commit suicide if continue to be in joint family. she also expressed sucidal ideas through phone to me. when i informed to her father , he said she will tell like that only & took it very light. but she expressed the same in my house he created a reason for taking her back.  I never expected any money or material from her at any time which she also accepts before others. i never take her salary with me. i never restricted her to go to her home. All i wanted was to live together happily .even i dont mind if thier parents come & stay with us.

Over this issue she targeted my mother and claim false allegations over minor issues. Also she accept that my mother never scolded her & no one beat her. But she constantly demand separate home.My wife hide things which happen in front of me to make false allegations over my mother. I cannot tolerate this .

For these issues

She didnt come back to my home for past 21/2 years

she refused to take my son to home

She is emotionally black mailing me keeping son with her..........

when i talk for divorce , she said " I wont come to your home,

                                                             I wont give divorce to you

                                                            i wont allow you to marry others"

From myside

                         I informed her i will become finacially stable & may able to build a own house for us keeping separate kithen in different floors in three years. But she refused & not ready to wait for three years .All of sudden she demand immediately everything should occur..... 

                        " I was ready to live with her but as a joint family only , even she can bring her parents with me"

But she didnt accept for that................. How to proceed? kindly help me

Over the days I started hating her & helpless now......

                   

  



Learning

 9 Replies

Simi Salooja (Legal Secretary)     13 December 2013

Hello Doc,

Where are you located???

Regards

Simi

ANU RAJAN (ASSISTANT)     13 December 2013

Sir/Madam,

The place of birth in my earlier passport is Karukutty ,Ernakulam,Kerala  whereas my actual place of birth is Angamaly ,Ernakulam, Kerala. Now i want to get it rectified.I have my Birth Certificate issued from Municipality as a proof of my place of birth.

Can you please provide the "Affidavit format for the reason for change in Place of Birth" .Its an emergency and I am eagerly waiting for your replay.I hope you will replay through my email Id (anurajan000@gmail.com)

 

Thanka & Regards  

 

Anu Rajan

Simi Salooja (Legal Secretary)     13 December 2013

Rajan,

Contact a local lawyer in kerela.... he will guide you thru and also will get the affidavit done for you.

Regards

Adv Simi

AAK (Advocate)     13 December 2013

@ Kumar.. Admittedly your wife and your parents are not in cordial relationship.. the possible solutions is live separately for at least for 10-12 months and see.. rent a house nearby .. I strongly recommend not to take extreme decision unless you give your best efforts to lead your happy married life.  I understand that parents are also too important and you have to take care of them but unless there is harmony in home no one will be happy.. thats why i suggest to rent house nearby your present residence and take care of your family... Good luck

1 Like

kumar (doctor )     13 December 2013

Sir

Thanks for your suggestion. But in my view after marriage my wife never tried to adjust the situations in my home. but she accepted to be in joint family before marriage. She also know that i rejected some brides specifically for this issue. All this i discussed with her even before marriage. But now she is blackmailing me. Also she is not true to me in the sense that she hide things happened before me in thier home to save her mothers face & also to give false allegations against my mother. I cannot accept this ......... and Iam not ready to leave my parents who are really innocent . THough they asked me to move away for the family health............. This my heart cannot accept...........

Simi Salooja (Legal Secretary)     13 December 2013

File a case in your local family court for separation on grounds of desertion & non cohabitation for last 2.5 years by wife... 

Your case will go into contesting.. since she is not willing to co-operate... you have to fight it out... 

As per mi, there is no otherway, than to approach the court of Law.

Regards

Adv Simi

Adv. Chandrasekhar (Advocate)     13 December 2013

In the last response of Adv. Simi, in the first line, I want to replace the word "divorce" instead of "separation", as both are different in family law jurisdiction.  I second the suggestion of adv. AAk, that as you already gave a proposal of living in the first floor while having your parents in the ground floor and for that sought two to three  years time and which, a very reasonable proposition, has been unreasonably turned down by your wife, you can put one more gesture of staying separately in the same lane where your parents are living and in the meantime materialize your proposition of constructing such house with two floors.  If this proposition is also not acceptable, then you record her conversation threatening of suicide and other vebal assaults and move in the direction of filing divorce case on the ground of cruelty and desertion.


(Guest)

I sympathize with your situation. Section 13 of the Hindu Marriage Act provides for the grounds on which divorce may be granted. According to this section, cruelty and desertion for a continuous period of not less than two years immediately preceding the presentation of the divorce petition are some of the grounds for divorce. Several Courts of India have granted divorce on these grounds.

 

A Delhi Court granted divorce to a man on the ground that he underwent "tremendous" cruelty because of his wife, who deserted him just a month after marriage. The wife, as alleged by the husband, used to quarrel on trivial issues and her family members had also beaten him up when he tried to reach a compromise on the matter with her. Based on the facts that have been stated by you- of your wife living away from you for more than two years and the mental cruelty and harassment that she has been meeting out to you, you may opt for divorce on these grounds. Threatening to commit suicide also amounts to mental cruelty.

 

You may apply for divorce on these grounds to the Court. Also, the Courts have held that a deserting wife is not entitled to maintenance since she has voluntarily left the company of the husband and has no reasonable excuse of deserting the company of her husband. You may also contest for the custody of the child and cite her suicidal nature. However, you should be aware of any cases that the wife may levy on you and your family, namely under Domestic Violence Act and 498a of IPC.

 

Get a lawyer to guide you through the entire process of divorce and the allied issues. You can call me at 09555 507 507 or send me a mail at info@lawkonect.com

 

-Regards

Advocate Pooja

www.lawkonect.com

1 Like

kumar (doctor )     03 January 2014

Sir/Mam

My marriage date : june 2011

My wife concieved around Aug 2011

My wife  left matrimonial home for delivery by 7th month of her pregnancy

my  son born on april 2012

she came back to matrimonial home twice  by 9th month of my son's life & 11th month  for claiming Nuclear family but didn't stay & left the home against my wish  with relatives on the same day as I refused Nuclear family

On august 2013  late evening she came to my clinic alone without son & relatives . I refused to talk any family matters at clinic and asked her to come home . she came to my home on that day but continued to claim nuclear family and ordered she will come with son only if provided nuclear family. I called upon  2 relatives & through them informed to her parents that she came without son & also i demanded them to bring my son to matrimonial home. But my Inlaws refused and asked her to send back the next day morning. As informed I send her to her parents home and asked to come with son for continuing marital life.

Now My questions?

In this situation as she is not coming back Is it legal to file Divorce case stating dessertion for 2 years

i.e. 2 years dessertion means 1. from the date she went for delivery ( or)

                                                        2. the date she came with son but did'nt stayed (or) 

                                                        3. date I took her to home when came to clinic but refused to stay with me to continue family life but stayed that 1 night just for going to her home next day.

                                                                             

Looking forward on your valuable suggestions. All other details I mentioned in my earlier messages. kindly go through it & reply

 

Thank you


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