I was married in 2012. This is mine and my spouses second marriage. I was previously divorced in 2010 and as for my spouse, its just a week previous to our marriage.
We had a very good life for the first month after which my spouse started showing bad temper for every small reason. She would start shouting abuses, talk arrogantly and mention all sorts of irrelevant things.
My parents got scared and deserted me.
Taking the fact she had some bad experiences in her previous marriage and that she needed a break, I chose to ignore and help her in every possible way. However, she kept having tensions & depressions every now and then for every small reasons and it started becoming unbearable. She had enrolled for MBA distance education 2.5 years ago and 2012 there were only six months remaining before it lapses. She had 18 papers to complete and began to get tension and stress. She has to commute 3 hrs one way, daily to work. She mentions she could not study and commute to work. I had clearly explained to her about the increase in commute time before marriage and she was pretty okay with that. I asked her how she would manage the household chores, to which she replied she will manage without problems.
Now, she mentions nothing can be expected from her and that she cannot suffer in life (which meant she cannot do any household chores, cook food etc).
I had employed a cook to alleviate the situation, however, my spouse started to get extra friendly with the cook to such an extent the cook started making my spouse do all the work, and the cook was fired.
My spouse had to take two months sabbatical leave to complete her MBA, after which she could not resume her job as the responsibilities were divided to other people. Her company MD asked her to come back after two weeks, by then he may offer her something. However, my spouse was very annoyed and she never went back, neither did she submit resignation or get relieved.
She started to study Java so that she could get a software job. After 3-4 months, she approached the same MD to put down her papers and get relieved. This time the MD gave her a position with a hike! She was happy in the interim but again kept getting tenses and depression that she cannot commute and study. The Java classes are on weekend, from 8am to 8pm. She had a bad argument with one of the managers earlier and now afraid to go back to the same office because she feels insecure. She's also concerned that this managers and others would feel she did not get a job anywhere. the manager had earlier scolded her because she was getting unreasonably friendly with her reportees to such an extent they were not working properly.
In short her tensions, depressions etc., are increasing day by day. She keeps shouting all sorts of abuses, throwing thing around, damaging thing in the house, sending threatening/angry sms, switching ON all the fans, lights, geysers etc in the house - her justification is to create loss for me. What I'm concerned here is that there should not be any fire in the house because of an electrical overload. You cant fully trust our "wirings".
She now mentions we should go abroad. I'm concerned about this because, I will have to leave my current job and go to a foreign country and if she cannot adjust, she might tell me within a week to return back to India.
I am really fed up of all these. I did try talking to her parents but to no avail. They simply say its due to the fact she is not getting a job. She is actually asking me to "get" her a software job! How is that possible? She will have to apply, attend interviews and pass them along with other tests.
She had attended a couple of interviews and was very depressed afterwards, telling me the interviewers were harassing her. When asked how, she replied they were asking her how come she studied engineering in Bangalore while her schooling was done in another state?
I don't think I can put up with such a person. I am getting scared when time comes to go home. She has stopped cooking and I have to order food every day.
She also complains I'm not giving her money, buying her clothes etc. I have been buying her whatever she has asked me to, order items online etc But offlate, she's also busy, especially on the weekends and cannot accompany me to the shops, so how can I be unfairly be blamed. I also gave her money, so that she can go shopping with her friends which she refused.
Please help me on how I can come out of this, - a concrete method. I have gathered proofs of all her communications, damages caused at home etc.
P.S.: She also mentions she had arguments with her ex-husband and ex-mother-in-law, as she did not like her husband visiting her parents. When he goes abroad, he would not take her, which resulted in fights between them. She also had fights with her previous employers and she says they were harassing her.
From what her father mentions, she used to have tension, depression, anxiety etc., during her school days. She refused to sit for the engineering entrance exam as she was scared of it. Her father had to pay capitation fees and get her admitted in Bangalore.
