Harassed by mother-in-law


Hi, I have been married to a guy and got our marriage registered legally in Mumbai, India. It has been about 13 months of our marriage and I am carry his baby and expected to deliver in next 2 months.

The issue I face is that I am constantly being harassed, absued and made to feel worthless by my mother-in-law. She constantly nags me for petty things, doesnt allow me to have proper nutrition, treats me like a domestic help and insults me infront of the family. Initially my father-in-law and husband told me its misunderstanding and nothing more but our conflicts grew day by day and she treats women and me so differently. She things men are superior and wifes are just burden. I was shoked to hear that being a women how could she speak & think like that. I was in for a shock..a rude shock. I discussed this with my husband and he says she is like that and nothing can be changed about her now .. you have to adjust the way we all have.. Even my father-in-law doesnt reply back to her even if she scolds him and uses foul language.

I then spoke about these things with my parents. When my parents confronted my in laws they first denied all those allegations of mistreatment, abuse & harassment which was a torchure for me. Later they gave assurance that I will be looked after well and no complaint would come.. few days pass by again the same things started by my mother-in-law and she was mentally harassing me..It was draining my energy and becoming mentally weak.

I asked my parents to help me and they spoke with our relatives and their relatives for a solution. After that meeting, it was again assured that things would be normal and they would be no complaint form her.. Few days passed by and my mother-in-law started again.. I am pregnant and about to deliver baby in next 2 months, I am physically drained and mentally torchured and not sure what to do.

My husband doesnt want to leave his mom (mother-in-law) and stay seperate. I do not have any issues as such with my husband but I cannot stand my mother-in-law. 

Can I press charges against my mother-in-law? How do I gather proof of her harassment? Should I approach women forum or mahila mandal who can speak to my mother-in-law or file a police case under family law?

I do not know if I do this, what step my husband would take, he make look for seperation as well and I need to think from that perspective as well. Being a housewife and just a BCom graduate, I need to take care of myself and my future kid. I plan to return to my parents if it comes to divorce and in that scenario, can I seek for compensation/maintainence for myself and my kid.

Can I file the police complaint and lodge a case in Bangalore court (my home town) though I currently live in Mumbai and registered my marriage there? 

Please guide me here.. I am totally petrified even with the slighest sight of my mother-in-law and need to live my life peacefully.

Thanks in anticipation.

 
Reply   
 

First, do not allow the situation go out of hand.   Go to your parental home for delivery without perpetuating the situation with your MIL.  After delivery, you try the change of your MIL's attitude towards you after a new member entered the family.  If she will not correct herself, then also do not think of divorce, as your husband is pretty good but incapable to change the attitude of old woman against the feminine gender.  If mental harassment continues, instead of asking a separate house, approach the court under domestic violence Act against your mother-in-law seeking residential orders in your in-laws' home itself,  seeking separate part within the house with a restriction against your mother-in-law not to interact, interfere, transgress and disturb you.  Such restrictive orders are possible in DV Act.  If such orders you obtain, I hope, they will not antagonise your husband and FIL against you.

 
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LEGAL CONSULTANT

She must be having that dominating nature since the beginning, and even her husband must have been hen pecked. So as a new entrant into the house she has starting targeting U. This  is a common feature in many households. Actually UR husband  should side with U ,but he does not have the guts to oppose his mother. The matter has to be settled within the four walls of UR house to avoid unecessary publicity. I am not supporting UR MIL, (THE MOTHER IN LAWS FORGET THAT SAAS  BHI KHABI BAHU THEE). Intervention of third parties will further worsen the situation as ego's come into picture.So kindly have restraint till the baby is born, and I presume things will come to normalcy. Dont  think of legal process to curtail her, that may even distance U with UR husband. WISH U ALL THE BEST

 
Reply   
 

As suggested by experts, do not let go the situation out of control.  No doubt these are all trivial issues involving the ego problems developing into such ugly scenes.  This is commonly prevalent in almost every household but it is not necessary that every woman/daughter in law should face and endure such humiliations in the hands of the elderly dominating woman of that household for ever.  Some solutions to be arrived at some given time.  However, for the present, you may stay in your parents' house for a while more even after the delivery of the baby, the child's birth may bring some changes in the mind of the grandmother, if it also fails to invoke any response to change her attitude with you,  the alternative option can be thought about it afterwards.

 
Reply   
 
Logical and Legal Advisor at Family Court

Don’t try to approach the problem at hand legally.  Once you involve legal ways, marriage is as good as over, it will be just time before you guys start fighting with each other.  Having a baby and being in such situation will be even more difficult.

 

For every action there is equal and opposite  reaction.

 

Try not to talk back to MIL is the golden rule for you.  I might sound wrong by advising this, keeping mouth shut helps a lot in continuing relationship.

 

Or move separately is another option.

 

But for Christ’s sake don’t approach police court for such problem as suggested by esteemed members above.

 

 

All the best.

 
Reply   
 
LEGAL CONSULTANT

Dear querist kindly have patience and act according to the suggestions of the experts

 
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