Dear Expert,
I am Nishant, When I got married I was in Dubai (2012) and I came in India in Aug 2012 my marriage got fixed and due to visa we have done court marriage on Aug 21st at Gaziabad Court
We formally got married in 27th Oct, 2012 at my native place (in Uttarakhand) as per Hindu customs.
As I am the only son, we have spent more on the marriage as compare to bride side and we don't mind.
Though before marriage it was known that girl parent has been divorced long back, but post marriage we came to know that Girl has been raised by her father and step mother, her real mother went to LONDON got married again and again got divorced from British person, but now hold UK nationality.
Girl Elder sister is also in London with her real mother and her sister is also a divorcee and now resettled again with a new husband at London.
Girl BUA (Aunty) is also dovorced... and soo on.. in total Divorce is seems to be a ritual in their family...
So the family values are completely missing and on every small issue Girl use to commit suicide attempt, considering her suicidal nature and Dubai strict Laws I never took her to Dubai (though I got a avisa for her) and finally apply for a transfer to India again, after some disputes of her past relationship as well (don’t want to write much) we use to argue, though she loves me but for every small thing her parents use to main tain a stand that I things r not workable better get separated and from the fourth day of marriage they started talking about STREEDHAN and MAINTENANCE … at that time these words were new to me and for my family.
My family and relatives tried a lot patch up the things but the girl’s parents (specially her real mother never gave a dam to the things) one fine day So she went to her home with her passport all major items and of course all jwellery, which she never returned (I dont mind still) // I still thing some time is for girls money, jewelry etc.. is so much important that they put their relationship on stake…
Again lot many iterations happened and finally I convince her to come back, Post to that after couple of months, we split from our houses and took a rented apartment in Gurgaon, but whenever Girl's real mother come from London... huge arguments were there and even she use to call police and lot many samjhota parta we use to right // These episodes happened to me but there is never a hated feeling in me for her I don’t know why?
One more Incidence happened in last April (2013) I was on a trip to Africa from office side and post reaching Africa I came to know that she was pregnant, she didn’t share this news with my parents and even she told me not to share with anybody, she also told me that her mother (from London) don’t want this child as our relationship is not smooth, I convinced her to my level best that don’t do any thing wrong and this child will make our life more beautiful and all….
But after 10 days time her mother came from London and she said that she faced a miscarriage because of some medicine… though this thing was not at all digestible to me… I retured after a month and still I accepted her and console her, but still there was no heted feeling in my mind for her…
At Later stages when things becomes more worst, as for any small thing she use to give me a threatening for suicide which I use to escalate to mediators but no positive response, even they blame me that I use to do domestic violence with the girl, after some time some people from Society came forward and they decide the mutual settlement.... which was initially agreed to both of us.. but again she approached me that lets try one more time and we will be happy this time... and finally we decided that better leave the parents and lets try... though we r happy in start.. But at later stages she started involving her parents again. Specially her mother from London.. and lot many arguments usually happen between us... many times she took her stuff and went to her home Noida and after 2 - 3 days’ time she return to house and now this becomes a regular practice of our house…
We celebrated all festivals together : Dushera, Diwali, My Birthday, New Year, Lohri, Karwa Chauth... and alll.... which falls from sep 13 till March 14 duration.. Things were not smooth but was better..
In March 2014 her mother from London again came to India, though I didn't reacted ... but again my wife wants to stay with her at Ashram (Osho – Her mother is a Osho Follower and she use to stay either at my house or at OSHO Ashram ) lot many things happened again.... (as expected)
2n d April, 2014 she went to see her mother and she said I will not come now... finally I was able to convince her that better come home.. she came back home on 6th April but without luggage and on 7th April, we again had a small quarrel he cursed my mother like any thing,.. and finally she told me that I am gonna leave this house (from past couple of month she was doing job as a registrar in an International school at Gurgaon) on 7th April, she finally took her all stuff... whet ever possible... and left the house.. and just massaged me that please return my laptop, the Bed sheets (as the almirah was locked)and whatever money decided by the mediators... as alimony... I didn't reply as she use to do these things 1000 of times before, finally after 4 days I got a call from WOMEN CELL NOIDA (UP – the girl’s father is a resident of Noida) that she has launched a complaint (not FIR) against me in which she make me accused for dowry, Abortion, Domestic Violence and also have mentioned the name of my PARENTS, MY SISTER and Brother in LAW, though I don't have any contact with them from past 7 months...
I went to Women cell, they address my case well, Women cell SHO also supported me but she seems to be bound by the law and finally they referred our case to a Marriage Councilor... there also she responded only on money, Streedhan, Jewelry (which she has taken long back) and finally she refuses to come again for further sittings with Councilor.
She again approached WOMEN CELL with a jack, I again got a call from Women cell that come and meet us in person, they told me DO's and DON't of the FIR and what will be the consequences and also demanded some stuff for settlement.. They asked me that as per the complaint I am accused for 313, 323, 498 A and also the respective family members will be accused.
I said I wanted to be with her, but now she allegated me openly not for the things which were the actual problems but for the things which never ever happened so in this situation I don’t know how to react.. my parents already warned me long back that the girl is somehow disturbed and her family witnessed many divorces so you will be in a bad situation, I even leave them for her and finally no body is supporting me..
This is the current situation, though Women cell agree to that fact that... my case is genuine.. but i dont think it will help...
Again they called me in Women cell (on 27th April) and tried to console the girl and her father and ask the girl for the out of court settlement… like take the expenses which her father spent on marriage, jewelry and other stuff is already with you (girl)… and boy financial standing is this much…..
But they refuses that and wanted to go ahead for an FIR (313, 323, 498A) and I came to know that they have finally lodge the FIR against me..
Finally Women cell told me that there will be no arresting and this case will be sent to SURAJPUR COURT for mediation and let’s see what will happen
I showed them all possible documents (like ultrasound reports which is normal, I ticked to Africa during that duration, girl is asthmatic and usually get face severe attacks and I have spent more than 1.5 lacks on her hospital bills so there is no point to ask dowry, and she has a suicidal tendency and she use to hit herself and showed to them that it’s a case of domestic violence…
Everybody from women cell accepted that fact, but they are still bound…to help me out..
Please suggest me what to do now,, (my take home salary is 70 K and her’s was 20 K and she left the job just 4 days before filing the application in women cell)….
Nishant
