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unknown   26 November 2015

Forceful engagement

Im stuck in a situation where Im forced to get engaged by my whole family without my consent, to a girl whom I dont like ( Its not about the looks only. ) there are several reasons. I do not have any other affair. My family forced me to get engaged to this girl beacuse they had promise the other party telling them that I will not deny to whatever decision they take. They threatened me to kill me or themselves as it was a matter of their ( both parties ) repuation in society and thier promise. They said humne zubaan di h samaj me rehna h, krni to pdegy engagement vrna hum marr jaenge, dada dadi etc etc sbko maar dega tu mana krk.. I had no choice. I also tried to make it clear to the other party that I dont want this enegement to take place, I even told her, her brother and mother that neither Im mentally prepared nor Im financially stable to bear her, her dad offered me to pay every month even if I dont earn a single penny. His words was " beta tum ek ruppee bhi na kamao to hume problem nhi h, me dunga pese har month" to which I clearly denied. I tried to run away from home, but my father threatened to kill me if I do so, he said, " mene 30 saal me izzat hi kamai h, izzat pyaari h bht chahe tujhe maarna pde" to which my grandparents didnt reacted and said, "gusse me bola hoga". I couldnt escape, though I tried to run away even on the day of engament but couldn't succeed, and again they threatened to kill themselves if I refuse to get engaged, I clearly told them that I would oppose this in front of the whole attendees, but I was threatened and could speak and was forced to get engaged, I know they wouldn't have killed themselves, but I was much more concerned about my life. Now the problem with me is that Im engaged forcefully to a girl whom I dont even like, I cant even think of spending a minute with her ( don't know why, I just don't feel like doing so ) niether Im desperate to have s*x on the name of marriage. The thing that made it worst is that the girl belongs to a judge family, and moreover the native place is "bharatpur, India" even if I marry the girl to defend my life, I see a devastating future. On the other hand, India has a law that mostly favors the women, but its not a gal who is victimized every time. A guy an also be a victim. I am totally broken and left with no option, please help.



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 5 Replies

Nitish Banka (lawyer)     27 November 2015

As of now legal case is not made out, you are an adult and capable of taking own decisions, courts and law does not enter houses to solve domestic issues. 

Regards,

Nitish Banka

9891549997

Adv. Yogen Kakade (+ 91 9225510883)     27 November 2015

Hi,

This query clearly indicates you are a genuine guy..

See, firstly as my learned friend Nitish has rightly said, this is your domestic problem and you have to solve it on your own unless it comes before the court.

As being major age you have every right to decide and choose your life partner. If the marriage is made without your will or wish.. then certainly it becomes a void marriage.. 

But currently you are not in a situation to suggest these things of being major age to your father.. being a part of Indian culture we know the consequences better.

In your case better sit with your parents and talk to them. Tell them you are not going to be happy in life with this marriage and you are telling this before the things go wrong i. e. before marriage happens. Tell them that it is true that their Ijjat is important but it's a matterr of your life. Even try and talk to the girl clearly about your thoughts. After talking to her and after spending some time with her, you might change your mind too.

Keep cool.. and think positive.. All the best.

Adv. Yogen P. Kakade

Jurycon Incorporation

Advocates & Consultants
Email: juryconincorporation@gmail.com
Web: www.juryconn.in  

 

unknown   27 November 2015

Thank You Nitish and Jurycon Inc. 

I ve tried every possible way to convince them, I even told them that I wont even have physical intimacy after marriage with this girl, but dont know how orthodox these people are. They are still saying that now we cannot step back as its a matter of thr reputation. I mean they arent concerned about a life being spoiled, I made it very clear that I m not at all happy and will not be happy in my entire life if things are not resolved, but they said thr ijjat and name is on top of my life. They said no one had denied thr decisions till now and if I do so then they may face a problem in finding right match for my cousins etc. I want to ask you that what if I run away after engagement? Is thr any law that can be applied on me by the girl's side? Im least concerned about my family at this point of tume as they have done everything to put me in this situation where I have no option left except suicide, which is tough for me. I am thinking to run away frm home, but m only worried about legal proceedings on me if caught.   Kindly suggest.

Adv. Yogen Kakade (+ 91 9225510883)     27 November 2015

Hi,

Don't run away from the situation.. face it..

Nobody can force you to get married.. A marriage is an agreement which can be done only with the consent of the boy and girl getting married.

It is hard to say but legally you can file a complaint against the parents as they are threatening you of committing suicide and compelling you to get married against your wish and will.

Jurycon Incorporation

Advocates & Consultants
Email: juryconincorporation@gmail.com
Web: www.juryconn.in 

unknown   27 November 2015

I know running away is not a solution but if you try to see the repurcussions of filing a case against my own family, which I can, but ultimately I will have to stay out of family at the end, no matter whoseover wins. On the other hand, I can also lodge a complaint against both the families as they both knew the fact that i was not at all ready for this and still they forced me to do. 

So my question is what if I run away? Will there be any legal proceedings against me in that case? Will I be on record of crime? I have read it on google that they cannot file a dowry case against me as marriage has not taken place and dowry claims cannot be filed on account of breaking an engagement. Is it correct? Please suggest.


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