From the Washington Post Style Invitation, in which it was
postulated that English should have male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice and explain their reason.
The best submissions: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SWISS ARMY KNIFE -- male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just
opening bottles.
KIDNEYS -- female, because they always go to the bathroom in
pairs.
TIRE -- male, because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.
HOT AIR BALLOON: male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it... and, of course, there's the hot air
part.
SPONGES -- female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGE -- female, because it is always getting hit on.
SHOE -- male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue
hanging out.
COPIER -- female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
ZIPLOC BAGS -- male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
SUBWAY -- male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
HOURGLASS -- female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom
HAMMER -- male, because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5000 years but it's handy to have around.
REMOTE CONTROL -- female...Ha!...you thought I'd say male. But consider, it gives man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and
while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.
Now tell me which one is most funny and convincing?
