Torture by husband and inlaws
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 26 August 2017
This query is : Resolved
It's six months I am married. Since the very first day my MIL FIL and SIL have been torturing me. My husband never supports me alws takes his parents and sisters side. Demands money from me. His sister who recently got married dint stop interfering in my matters. My husband always supports his mother sister and father's torture on me. My inlwas don't let my husband stay with me. I stayed alone in my room. Dint allow me to eat. Demands money. I am working and I spent money in my in-laws homedespite that my MIL demands more money and tortures me. Physically also my husband tortured me in the room. Now my inlwas asking me to move out of the house and get divorced and they want to remarry my husband to get more money. Plz help me
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 27 August 2017
Try to save marriage, try for amicable solution.
Legal step once taken may destroy possibility to save marriage.
Effort through elders / society effective people / family friends / your lawyer to arrive at the amicable solution.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 27 August 2017
If the efforts to save marriage are not successful, may lodge complaints of Domestic violence, dowry demand etc. Please discuss with your lawyer in detail.
You can lodge police complaint at your parents place.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 27 August 2017
My husband is so much in blind support of his sister mother and father he will never stand by my side. He has extraordinary affection or what exactly is the matter for his eight years younger sister I don't know that he listens blindly to whatever she says.His sister tells him not to talk to me he stopped talking to me. My SIL MIL FIL all together created problems. I tried a lot but all in vain. He tortures me physically mentally and forced me to leave the house threatening me to kill me. Also lodged a GD against me I heard. Don't know what to do. Consulted lawyer says since I earn I can't get any compensation. For the mental and physical torture and their demanding money from me, if I lodge DV or 498 won't be helpful as I earn and has no proof. How will a girl know when her in-laws and husband will come to fight with her or had hands on her that she will be ready with recorder or camera to shoot everything to keep the proofs. Absolutely baseless. Why can't the law support a girl when she is actually being harrassed and forced to move out of the house. Unfair it is.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 27 August 2017
My husband has never done any duty and never showed that I am his responsibility. I spend so much on the family but still they ask for more money and doesn't let me eat. My husband seeing all wrong alws supported his family for all these. Don't know why he married me. He took me as a source of income and so just married me.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 27 August 2017
My husband is so much in blind support of his sister mother and father he will never stand by my side. He has extraordinary affection or what exactly is the matter for his eight years younger sister I don't know that he listens blindly to whatever she says.His sister tells him not to talk to me he stopped talking to me. My SIL MIL FIL all together created problems. I tried a lot but all in vain. He tortures me physically mentally and forced me to leave the house threatening me to kill me. Also lodged a GD against me I heard. Don't know what to do. Consulted lawyer says since I earn I can't get any compensation. For the mental and physical torture and their demanding money from me, if I lodge DV or 498 won't be helpful as I earn and has no proof. How will a girl know when her in-laws and husband will come to fight with her or had hands on her that she will be ready with recorder or camera to shoot everything to keep the proofs. Absolutely baseless. Why can't the law support a girl when she is actually being harrassed and forced to move out of the house. Unfair it is.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 27 August 2017
Do not succumb to pressure tactics of in-laws for dowry, be bold enough to face the situation and take support of your parents/other relatives.
File a police complaint and try to resolve matters through counselling by experts.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 27 August 2017
For counselling my husband need to have a positive thought about the marriage. O e who has stopped keeping any contact with me, doesn't reply my calls or messages, his parents doesn't let him talk to me even. Only option left is filling complain which would end up with police case and all. I stayed mum for six months with the hope things would get better with time. I tried heart and soul for the betterment of the marriage but my SIL she can't see me with my husband and rules him all time. She stays less in her in-laws house and more in her parents house just to make my life living hell. I tried to be nice e with her all time but they take this as my weakness and tortures me more.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 27 August 2017
My husband shared with his eight years younger sister everything we discuss in our room. I told him I don't like my husband to discuss my personal chat with him with his sister but he doesn't respect the marriage. He sdnt have married. His sister threatens me all time that she gave the consent of this marriage then it happened so only what she now wants and says will be final
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 27 August 2017
They have already filed a GD against me. I don't know what all allegations they have made against me. If I file a case I fear they may harm me and my ailing parents. On e my husband SIL and MIL came at midnight 1.30 am to my parents house and misbehaved with them. I want to teach these family a lesson because they have intensionally ruined my life for want of money. Wife or a companion is not what my husband married me for. He says "I have my sister I can be with her. If u want to stay here stay just as my sister says else I do t need you," Which wife will ever accept such words from her husband
Guest
(Expert) 27 August 2017
In fact, your story seems to be too much sketchy.If there is any truth, taking divorce may be a better option for you. Better meet some local lawyer by taking your parents in to confidence.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 28 August 2017
Sketchy?? What we see in newspaper and tv are all what have been happening with me since day 1 of our marriage. Our fault was we don't enquired about the family from neighbourhood. My uncle enquired now about them all says ur niece has been victimised by the family. I just wanted to live well with husband like any other gal but marrying me was just some purpose for them
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 28 August 2017
All efforts through elders failed. Society saying they are bad ppl and we shdhave enquired before marriage then truth would have been clear and this marriage went have happened. Still my parents me tried. Theymis behaved with my brother and family people when they went to speak and settle. Even I tried but his mother says she wants money and now wants to remarry my husband and need money. On face she demands money like this. Plz suggest what a girl shd be doing in such circumstance.
Guest
(Expert) 28 August 2017
I have already suggested you to meet some local lawyer along with your parents and file suit against your husband after discussing the whole background of the case to the lawyer.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 29 August 2017
Thanks. Sir... How devastated a girl feels when her husband refuses to take her responsibility I feel it now. My husband married me only at the wish of his sister to get money. There is no place for good ppl. But this forum is helpful. I am now strong enuf to fight for all wrong that has happened with me and my family for no mistake of ours. A married gal earns doesn't mean that her husband will show no responsibility towards her. I never asked for money from my husband but he never showed any respect for marrigae. Ppl like him should not marry. Silence and patience of a girl was to them my weakness. I stayed mum just for the sake of my marriage with the hope things go would get better with time but they took it my weakness. MIL SIL FIL demanding money from daughter in law and husband supporting this is what I have been seeing in TV and reading in newspaper but this happened with me . I wish all girl gets justice against such cruel family.
Yudhish Padman S
(Expert) 29 August 2017
Dear Debasree Tapadar,
Reading all your posts, I collectively understand the following:
(1) That your in-laws are torturing you for dowry
(2) That your husband, instead of supporting you, is taking their side
(3) That your sister-in-law who recently got married (and presumably living away) is poking her nose into your affairs
(4) That your in-laws do not let your husband to cohabit with you
(5) That you spend all your earnings on your in-laws
(6) That your husband also tortures you physically in privacy
(7) That your in-laws are asking you to move out and give divorce so that your husband can remarry someone and get exorbitant dowry
(8) That your husband asked you to leave the house and if not, he threatened to kill you
As far as (3) is concerned, there is nothing you could do and as far as (5) is concerned, it is up to you to stop spending on your in-laws. As far as your other allegations are concerned, there is a wide range of legal options. It is advisable to not exercise all of the options if you choose to save your marriage. Since marriage is a sensitive matter and every case is unique, it is not responsible on our part to provide a general advice and it is not in your best interests if you choose to blindly follow them. For these reasons, it is advisable that you seek the personal assistance of a prudent lawyer to take you through this thing.
Law is already in support of women, no matter whether she is in distress or not. You need not have to be prepared and record videos to prove your case. In dowry harassment cases, the presumption is already in favour of the woman making the complaint. It is the husband and in-laws who are required to prove their innocence.
Counselling will be mandated by the police station as well as court. Your husband will be seriously prejudiced if he refuses to attend it. During all these counselling sessions, redress your grievance to the counsellors adequately so that, they will be able to advise your husband and in-laws properly. If you feel that you will be able to live in harmony with your husband if you and your husband can live alone in a separate house, then feel free to make the suggestion. There is nothing wrong in it and depending upon the case, the counsellors, police officials, and even courts will make orders to that effect.
By GD, I think you mean General Diary. Whenever someone gives a police complaint, receipt of the same will be recorded in the General Diary and the corresponding General Diary Number will be given to the complainant for reference. If the police officials had thought that the allegation in the complaint was true and serious, then they would have registered a F.I.R. by now.
Your fear for the safety of yourself and your parents is natural. Every one of my clients had felt the same way. But practically, the husbands and in-laws would not even contact you and your parents, let alone harassment. Maybe in your eyes, you might see them as pure evil. But the truth is that they are not some antisocial elements or rowdies. They are just normal citizens who are also equally afraid and uncomfortable of the police, law and its uncertainty. They did what they did believing it was ok to behave so. It is not only your right, but also your duty to report them to the appropriate authorities to ensure that such wrong attributes are curtailed at its very inception itself.
Regards,
yudhishpadman@gmail.com, Advocate, Chennai.
Rajendra K Goyal
(Expert) 29 August 2017
If they misbehaved with your parents, parents should lodge police complaint against them.
Please through away of idea of teaching any lesson to anyone, time is great teacher, it would teach if they need. You have to initiate steps against them only, rest leave for the time and law.
Please discuss in detail with some local senior lawyer.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 29 August 2017
Thanks Dhingra Sir, Yudhish Sir and Goyal Sir for support and help. I really wanted my husband to accept me cos I tried hurt and soul to adjust and listen only to what my husband said so as to keep the marriage. But I don't know why they find fault in everything i do. Being with my husband for six months I now feel that he only doesn't want and so he strongly supports all the torture his sister mother and father did on me. I went up to him to speak several times but he says he can live without marriage for his sister mother and father. He is so blind about all wrong happening on me. I heard several things from neighbour about my husband and his sister but i gave no ears and just stayed as much commited as a wife should be. I had no problem giving money I earn but I felt in these six months more I spent money the more they want. I din't open a joint account t as was demanded by his sister so they got angry with me. My husband never did any duty towards me. Dint give a rupee to me and say take this from your husband. Never did I see him respect this marriage. Always commannded me to buy this and that for home. I did but again he says I don't like his sister . He says I have to listen blindly to his sister mother and father if I want to be with him. Else I have to move out. And I just stopped trying from the day his sister threw my food when I just sat down to have my dinner. And to my utter surprise when I asked my husband did you see what your sister did she threw away my food, he rather shouted at me and beat me saying I deserve this. That was so cruel and insensitive. I don't think my husband needs this marriage. He wants to remarry just as his sister and mother and father wants. So he chased me out of the house. There exist people like this in this world in this century even my husband and in-laws are the living proof of that. My silence and patience was only to save the marriage but they took this for my weakness and so they misbehaved with my ailing parents.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 01 September 2017
Is there any provision for seeking protection for oneself and family from him and his family. His sister he and his family very dangerous people. I have ailing parents at home and worried when I am at office they may harm them any time. Infact they entered house at midnight and humiliated my parents. Plz advice. They alws threatened they know powerful ppl and will kill me and my family if I do anything. Plz advice. His married sister is the most dangerous person I have ever come across. My husband is a puppet to her.
Guest
(Expert) 01 September 2017
Law cannot put compulsion on anyone. So, don't expect the law to provide much help, except parting ways between the husband and in-laws and causing further harm if tried to be used by whims and fancy of the emotions of any of you.
Winning heart of the husband and in-laws depends solely on the skill of the newly introduced member of the family to make proper adjustment without disturbing the existing set up. Better discuss your problem with impartial elder ladies, other than your own mother and siblings. Mood of your own mother and siblings can be analogous to your own emotions. So, they can't help you much, if not thinking impartially or unemotionally.
Yudhish Padman S
(Expert) 01 September 2017
Dear Debasree Tapadar,
A magistrate is empowered to grant Protection Orders u/s.18 of 'The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005' if he is prima-facie satisfied that a 'Domestic Violence' has taken place or is likely to take place.
Accordingly, your husband and your in-laws will be prohibited from,
(a)committing any act of domestic violence against you;
(b)aiding/abetting in the commission of acts of domestic violence against you;
(c)entering your office or any other place frequently visited by you;
(d)attempting to communicate in any form, whatsoever, with you, including personal, oral, written, electronic or telephonic contact;
(e)alienating your separate or joint assets, operating bank lockers or bank accounts, including your stridhan or any other property
(f)causing violence to your parents or any other person who is giving you assistance by protecting you from domestic violence;
(g)committing any other act as specified in the protection order.
Regards,
yudhishpadman@gmail.com, Advocate, Chennai.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 06 September 2017
Just cos of some false 498 A complain by some wives, other girls with whom genuine dowry and physical assaults are happening in day to day life, they are not getting proper justice. And people like my husband are taking advantage of that. Unfortunate it is.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 07 September 2017
My husband and my sister in law mother in law and father in law tortured me for money, I gave as much as I could but since I refused to open joint account and could not fulfil their demands of dowry and more money they wanted to get me out of the house threatened to kill and stopped giving me food. My husband married me as a source of income only. Now I moved out so they are happy now. Now all they want is divorce. I complained lodged complain but they all got bail as was told by my husband always we will get bail and we will be free. That's what has happened. They are happy and now waiting for divorce. My husband and his family wants divorce now. Lodging complain seems not of much help. 498A is now not much in favour of a wife as it was so misused. I feel so devastated why I had married this man who ended it just for money. I earn so he never took any responsibility of mine. Now in court also he would escape with this. I want no money but I wanted justice. He earns three times what I earn but still spent not a single penny for me in six months of marriage. Now he washed off his hands from me. His sister mother father all happy that I left the house. It was his duty to take to take care of his wife but did nothing.498A is of not much help. I wanted a peaceful life with husband but he and his family ruined my life. And now got bail also. Very soon ishallhave to vacate the room also. Everything going as just they wanted. Plzhelp
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 07 September 2017
Where does this trial end? What way can these people who tortured a newly wedded girl be severely punished ? What way can they really be made to realize how bad and wrong it is to torture a girl who and whose family's intension was a successful marriage? I really feel helpless.theyhave got bail and this way shall escape from their sin if at all this is considered an offence in society. Pls advice.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 19 September 2017
I hv lodged a complain against my husband and inlaws. If i want to know the status of my complain, if any investigations have been carried out where should I enquire.. Kindly advice
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 20 September 2017
I hv lodged a complain against my husband and inlaws. If i want to know the status of my complain, if any investigations have been carried out where should I enquire.. Kindly advice
Guest
(Expert) 20 September 2017
Whether you have obtained the FIR for your Complaint.If not file a Private Complaint in the concerned Court to instruct the concerned Police to Register the Complaint.Discuss with a Local Good Advocate
Guest
(Expert) 20 September 2017
You may contact police, if filed complaint with police, or wherever you filed complaint to know the status of complaint/ enquiry.
Guest
(Expert) 20 September 2017
More over the Sec 498 IPC cases could be initiated by the Police only after getting the Consent of the Court
Guest
(Expert) 20 September 2017
Probably, you want your husband and in-laws arrested for the reasons best known to you only. But, rest assured, it is not so easy now a days to arrest the husband/ in-laws without proper detailed investigation.
Debasree Tapadar
(Querist) 21 September 2017
I want proper detailed investigatiin to hapoen for the truth to come forefront. Its so many days my inlaws have dragged me out if house physically torturing me and tgey are staying happily now. 498arrest doesnt happen imnediate but after investigation it should happen in genuine cases. Thats what I want any wife in distress would want proper justice.498A dsnt involve immediate arrest of culprits and its now a misuse by the husband and inlaws now. Plz help genuine cases to get justice and get the wrong people punished. Plz help.
