Regarding seperation
prajakta
(Querist) 27 June 2008
This query is : Resolved
Honourable Sirs/Madam
I am presenting you my case in brief.
I am a 35 years old woman with an 8 year old daughter married for the last 9 and half years.Ours had been a love cum arranged marriage and an intercaste too.
This marriage had problems from the day one issues pertaining to my husbands infidelity,irresponsibilities...There were tiffs earlier leading to months of void and finall it has reached a stage of a seperation in our minds and only legal formalities are remaining.
Today he is a successful man and holding a good position nationally.Since I trusted him I left my job an year back and he showed his tur colours after he got a huge jump in his career.I have no savings of mine today...
He calls it a non compatible relationship and hence wants to go our seperate ways but is keeping quiet on formal seperation.
Presently I have come to Bhopal from Delhi where we were based with daughter and inlaws..since it had become difficult to survive..daily fights were affecting the atmosphere for my child and led me to a severe depression. Here i am staying with my in laws and he is giving money till date without any problem per se..His parents too are good natured and cooperativ but unable to say anything to him and have been defending his actions..though they dote on their granddaughter and have been good to me too always...
I am a shattered person today..My father passed away 20 years back..I dont want to depend on my mother...i am the eldermost among my siblings..
My query is that i am not sure what will be the future coursr of action..we are not communicating at all since i had come to bhopal..only monetarily smses are exchanged...family members were expecting a change in him but nothing seems to be happening this way either.
I wanted to understand my rights as woman and wanted to be prepared an advance in case he is planning something of this sort alongwith his parents of which i can get a wiff of...there is a slight change in behavoiur of in laws towards me recently...
No one is speaking on whats going to happen next...i am also scared about the actual seperation and have not come to terms with it mentally and emotionally..I am desperate and dont know whether i am expressing correctly to you or not.
My only request to you gentlemen is to please guide on my rights,maintenance i can claim,the custody of my daughter,how strong will be my case if we fight for it...since he has all the powers with him...expecting an early reply
Regards
Prajakta
amit gupta_lawyer
(Expert) 27 June 2008
well first have faith on judiciary and you can always proceed for maintenance under 125 crpc if ur husband stop maintaining u properally and if u want divorce then also u can file the case of divorce on ground of desertion and crulty and u can also file petition seperatly for the custody of ur daughter. for all this you have legal remadies and u can consult any good lawyer for this but first u have to make ur mind that what u want, wether u want to continue with this marriage and sort the differences amicabily or want to get seperate with ur husband
Srinivas.B.S.S.T
(Expert) 27 June 2008
My sincere advise is to try to patchup the differences with your husband if you can. No problem is so big that it could not be solved. So try to make him sit before his parents talk out the problem atleast for the sake of the child's future. If you have decided to separate then you can initiate legal battle against him. File number of cases and make him come for a settlement. if you want further clarification you can contact me at s_bsst@yahoo.com
Guest
(Expert) 27 June 2008
You are well protected under the law, if the neglect continues, and there is no proper provision for your maintenance, you can approach, court. Family Court will provide quick and immediate remedies. Criminal court under 125 also is quick but it may aggravate the problem.
Srinivas.B.S.S.T
(Expert) 29 June 2008
Well people used to say marriage is an institution, hope they could have envisaged our present.
arunprakaash.m.
(Expert) 30 June 2008
Well as my friend said marriag is a social instiution. Married life always has ups and downs. the relatioships is always not cordial. Everything is changing in this world. So wait for some more time. Even after that also your problem persists you can protect and enforce your rights as per the law of the land. You can get relief under civil as well as criminal laws.
prajakta
(Querist) 07 July 2008
Thank you all very much for extending your valuable guidance to my query.
As suggested by most of you gentlemen I have no issues in waiting for him to change some day but to tell you the truth things have gone far too bitter between us. Actually speaking we have gone in directions totally apart. And we have been dragging along this relationship only from someone or the others sake but it has crossed that limit too.
He had last asked me to live on certain terms if I want to but I am not a prisoner , am I?
Though I even agreed to that in a fit of depression and requested only security for future to which he disagreed.
Its been six months I haven’t heard from him and uniting again seems to be a remote possibility. As far as our child is concerned she is already suffering and seeing her parents staying apart. I have to unwillingly stay with his parents only to give my daughter grandparents love and support. Life alone is gonna be very difficult I can very well understand that. But how long would I be able to survive in this compromising situation where I know even my in laws are not attached to me but doing it for their grand daughters sake and their sons reputation.
I have a few more apprehensions here.
1) What if I take up a job out of my city . I can’t take my career for granted at this point which has already been ruined. Can I move out of city leaving behind my daughter with in laws in case i get a good offer? I fear they might try to influence her as I can see them doing it often. Will such a step go against me too in some way? Secondly he might not be ready to bear the expenses of putting her in a different school since it would be my decision and also bear any other expenses involved in moving out.
2) Will I be eligible for maintenance and alimony in case I am employed?
3) I have always trusted him but it has been broken every time. Since I am intrinsically not a bad soul (my sisters call me a fool) would like to trust him and settle the matter amicably hence would a mutual divorce give me equal benefits?
4) Since he is much capable financially he would be hiring the best of lawyers he could. Will that make my case weaker if I am not able to afford an equally competent one?
5) Is it possible that he does not respond to my divorce notice and also stops giving whatever money he sending right now? He has changed his number after shifting to Mumbai and has not shared his new number with me. So any kind of communication has stopped or routed through his parents.
6) I have been told he can also declare himself unemployed if he decides not to shell anything. He can even elope to another country and it will be difficult to trace him? How far is this true.
7) Who gets the custody of the child and what are the grounds for the same?
Please help in solving my fears and doubts..
Regards
Prajakta
prajakta
(Querist) 07 July 2008
I am seriosly clueless whats going on in his mind at the moment.And i want to be prepared for any untoward situation in future.I am sure he too wants to get rid of this impasse asap.His parnets visited him recently and are now tight lipped about anything i try and extract out of them about his future course of action.That man is so smartly able to fool those innocnet people to and is slowly taking them in his fvour.He told them that i had left the house and they believe him wheras even a few days back he told me he is does not want to b together.
Regards
prajakta
(Querist) 07 July 2008
Please guide as i have to take a decision on job frnt soon.
Jithendra.H.J
(Expert) 08 July 2008
you are grown enogh to understand the world! let him fool the foolish people, now think about your future and and your child, search for a job, when women is fighting for the food and doing some jobs to get her food, etc., its not a bar to claim maintainance, it is the boundain duty of your husband to maintatin you and your child. you know all most all the laws are infavour of the women, the laws are made to protect the women, when you are having legal rights, how others can deny your right? he must be having lot of fears that you may take leagl actions against him, in that fear he is behaving like that........ instead of taking revenge, climb the ladders in life, show the world that you are not destroyed by your husband.
dont worry almighty and the law is with you.
