Desertion by wife and child access
sensitiveman
(Querist) 13 April 2012
This query is : Resolved
Dear experts,
I got married 4 years ago. We also have a 2 yr old male kid from this wedlock.
My wife deserted me around 8 months back without any reasonable cause. The main cause behind this desertion is her stubborn nature supported by her parents. Due to her nature, she was not able to adjust in matrimonial home since beginning of the marriage may be because we are from simple family background with lower income and traditional values and she was from an upper class category . Due to this, she never accepted our culture and always continued to live as she wanted. She always pressurised me to go to hotels, movies,etc every weekend which was not possible as I was unemployed initially. Later on once I got employed, I used to take her out once in a month as I was the eldest in family so I also need to contribute money towards other members of the family. She never respected my parents and sister.
Around 8 months back, we had a big fight which went to the extent of physical nature. She attacked me and in defense even I attacked.
Later on, I realised that whatever happened was not right.I felt that I should compromise just for the sake of small kid so that he should get love and affection from both of us and hoped that even we would improve our relations. I tried to get in touch with her through mails, calls, SMS, relatives, etc. but they are not responding and keeping quiet. At the same time, they had also defamed me and my family in the community.
Inspite of all these, I am flexible and open either in continuing the relationship or for separation but for this how can i get to know her intentions?. If she doesnt communicate her intentions then for what time I should wait to apply for divorce on the basis of desertion. Also, i need guidance for child access and future course of action.
Thanks in advance.
Devajyoti Barman
(Expert) 13 April 2012
In the present circumstance if the involvement of family elders fail to bury your hatchet then you can file a suit for restitution of conjugal rights.
In the same suit you can apply for visitation of your child as well.
sensitiveman
(Querist) 13 April 2012
I dont wish to file RCR. Is it fine if I just send a letter through any advocate to resume marital relationships else we should go for Mutual Consent Divorce in which i can also mention about child parenting. Pls explain what kind of advantages would be there by filing RCR.
One more point to add, i have her jewelleries with me which i wanted to hand over them but dont wish to give those jewelleries which we had given her during our marriage.So what kind of arrangement can be done in this aspect?
Thanks for the support.
Adv.R.P.Chugh
(Expert) 13 April 2012
Dear Sensitive,
You'd have to take your call whether you want to re-concile in living together + or parting away amicably. If you two fail to reach a consensus - take the help of a mediator or family elders.
Whatever transpires after that would govern what cases should be filed.
Feel free to talk!
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 13 April 2012
wait & watch , in low preofile, no harsh & fast action.
crack developed should be given a chance to patchup.
Look at your son. & his future.
Woman opriented laws, Swords , cut them only, once used to cut relations.
this laws harm them more than man in long term, though in temp, short period, it cut husband, not so deep, get healed up.
Bou that sword cut off relationship that harm wife lifetime.
You need marriage Councillor.
sensitiveman
(Querist) 13 April 2012
Thanks all of you for your valuable comments. Actually, I have tried everything to patch up but they are just keeping quiet. I agree with your suggestions as even me and my family is of the same opinion. But how long i should hold my patience thats why I mentioned earlier that I am ready for resuming marital relations or separation as per my wife's desire. I have also offered to give her belongings along with maintenance of child. Really confused what should i do?...
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 13 April 2012
If you have already involved elders, and exhuasted all options, then start the case by filing for child custody.
It is OK, if you don't initiate divorce.
RCR has no merit and you have rightfully choosen not to go that path.
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
V R SHROFF
(Expert) 13 April 2012
I never suggest RCR.
Once matter goes to Court, patch up is next to impossible.
Once matter goes to Court,you have to wait years together.
It is 8 months separation & u got upset.
In court you may have to wait for 8 years.
So WAIT & WATCH. : PROBLEM TOO HAVE IT'S MATURATION PERIOD.
sensitiveman
(Querist) 13 April 2012
Yes, I was upset but now I got very good inputs from the learned experts which has boosted my morale. I am grateful to all you guys.
Cheers!!!
prabhakar singh
(Expert) 14 April 2012
.आप का मार्गदशन विद्जनो ने बिलकुल सही ढंग से किया है जिससे मै सहमत हूँ .
Shonee Kapoor
(Expert) 15 April 2012
Never mention.
Regards,
Shonee Kapoor
harassed.by.498a@gmail.com
