My in-laws creating problem in my married life
dimpal
(Querist) 03 February 2019
This query is : Resolved
I and my husband got married on 5th Nov 2018 in Arya samaj mandir as my in-laws were against it. He is 74 born and me 82 born.
We started leaving separately. My husband was talking to them and I was fine them talking to him but since then they were bitching about me. My husband was supporting so that was fine. I didn't know about my husband that he was alcoholic which I got to know later. He was not working for which he said he is starting a business and he is working on it. After marriage I got to know he is not doing any business but he started looking for job now it's been long my in laws interfering every time. They have taken our society's gaurd number and asking him for information. Everytime they do some or other CID on me. They asked my all details which I gave for there satisfaction bcz they wanted to do background check. They have taken power of attorney from my husband for his all property and taking rent in their account. We are leaving in rented apartment and expending from our savings. Now i am not allowing my husband to drink much and he is on medicine but whenever my mother in law calls him and bad mouth about me he start drinking and difficult to control. Last Dec on his mother's birthday she spoke about my character and Don't know what she told him so he started beating me and next day my medical was done. Police and my family and my husband asked for a chance so I gave him chance didn't report it but took from him in written that it won't happen in future in the same police station with that police station stamp and both of us signature.
Now since few days as I don't allow him to drink much and listening to his mom who purposed him to come and stay there alone without me on condition that he can drink there he started asking for divorce.
I love him and he also loves me. Bcz of parents bad mouthing about me and shortage of money he is doing this.
My in laws been to my home and had fought there saying they have money and power and will see me. They don't want their son to be married and want them back in any cost.
I want to know what can I do and what all laws are in my favor. I don't want divorce as I love him. I also know when I leave him he will be completely in to alcohol.
I don't want my in-laws property or anything else but my husband has few properties how can I claim for it as wife. My husband some time ask for few things like his watches and ring which kept by my mother in law in her locker but she denied even for health insurance too so we took another health insurance for both of us.
He has one house in Noida which is managed by my father in law and he is power of attorney for that flat and also taking rent in his account. Where we are leaving in rented accommodation and paying from my husband's saving.
They says that I married to my husband for money which is completely wrong.
Please suggest what I can do to take our property from them. How can I stop them interfering in our life. My husband at times doesn't understand and influenced by them.
What rights I have as a wife if he is asking for divorce as I never want this divorce and can't think of leaving without him.
My in-laws asking my husband to live with them without me. He is ready and thinking of going theee. What can I do in that case?
Please help me out. My father is no more and my mother is very old and stays with my brother. I can't tell her all this.
I am not working and depending on my husband currently.
Vijay Raj Mahajan
(Expert) 03 February 2019
Your husband not working nor you and you're dependent on him, from where money coming for both of you and especially his bottle of alcohol?
You went for Arya Samaj marriage against the wishes of both side parents with a man elder to you by 8 years in the month of November, 2018 that is hardly 3 months back.
Divorce by law is not possible so early to get either by him or you both, so forget that.
As far living or not living with in laws is your own choice no one can force you for that, if you husband desert you and start living with your in laws , you can seek residence order against him along with maintenance order from the court, however there has to be act of domestic violence against you by him to get those orders from the court.
You both are quite mature in age and have take life seriously, such domestic bickering will take you both nowhere, as far in laws are considered they have lived their life and in old age just look for company of their children till their end, so give thought of uniting with them on mutual and reasonable understanding, rest its your life at the age of 37 years you need to take decision yourself.
Dr J C Vashista
(Expert) 04 February 2019
You will have to accommodate your husband and in-laws.
However, do not adventure to legal recourse it will not bring better/ desired results.
Both of you are mature, intelligent and capable to work hence must earn your bread and butter.
Martin S.
(Expert) 05 February 2019
I agree with Prasanna's advice and Vijay's advice.
dimpal
(Querist) 09 February 2019
Vijay Sir my it was our savings which we spent till now and very soon will be over.
I am trying hard to unite with them but they are so greedy that they don't want us to be with them. They have taken power of attorney from my husband for his all property and saying that they sold off all.
Still we were fine but now they are making stories saying someone came to their place taking my name and asked for 3lakhs. When I replied I didn't take single rupee from anyone and u would have sent those people here in my place. They say they didn't entertain them and will come along with those people if they come back.
They are doing all drama to snatch my husband giving him lolipop that beta come back we are old and u can drink here leave that girl. I am not allowed in their house nor I tried going there.
Yesterday their advocate sent a letter stating that we both going their house and troubling them and not allowing them live piecefully which is not the case as I never been their place but they call 10 times to my husband and yesterday also they came to take him along with them. Which I denied.
Today also they called asked him to come and he has gone to meet them where as I am at my place.
What kind of parents they are so greedy and doing all this. Troubling us and sending letter that we troubling them. I have their recording when they came out place. Diplomatically they tried taking him and I kept my point that I never tried coming ur place and don't want anything from them then why they are doing all this?
They are bitching about me to my husband and asking him to divorce me or live with them. Torching me too mentally asking for divorce again and again and interfering too much in our life.
Because of my mother in law 2 months back my husband bitten me badly and I gave him a chance when he asked for after my medical happened and took in writing from him that it won't happen again in police station with police stamp.
Now some times my husband comes in pressure and ask for mutual divorce . I don't want to divorce him and living happily with him but my in-laws always disturb our peaceful stay and do some or other drank.
My husband is looking for job and limited his drink very much. My in-laws not happy with it and giving him lolipop that beta u come here and do whatever u want we need u but leave that girl behind.
Guest
(Expert) 09 February 2019
It is better to take your husband for Counselling in a Polite and Peaceful manner
dimpal
(Querist) 26 February 2019
They took him from home with them when I was out for some work and he was drinking at home. He have given in writing that he left house willing and going to his mama place in police station. He is at his parents place only. They have changed his mind completely and forcing me for mutual divorce and his father saying it can be done now also (married for 4 months).
They are sending me some or other legal notice and being patient I am just waiting for my husband bcz if I take legal action aginst them my husband might stick to their words and not come at all. I only want my husband nothing else please suggest what to do?
I am not allowed at my in-laws place and that's why earlier I asked them if they want to live with him can come and stay here but they never agreed and always use to ask him to come and stay for 1-2 days. When he started doing that from last month he all of sudden changed.
Please help me how to handle this.
dimpal
(Querist) 26 February 2019
They are also asking for stuff my husband purchased before marriage and after marriage from his card saying that they paid for those furniture and asking to return back through legal notice.
Raj Kumar Makkad
(Expert) 09 February 2020
Mutual trust is the base of the married life and once this base erodes, some types of problems do come. You need to adopt patience and need to win the trust of your husband. In the given facts, instead of invoking legal provisions, you need to take help of nears and dears of your husband and try to settle the issue amicably. Frankly speaking, law has framers had never thought of such type of behaviour of husband.
