mutual breakup after engagement

Hello sir/madam,

I was engaged to someone , after engagement he was rude to me .. always dominating.. his family hurted my family members in many ways. after some discussions we both parties agreed to call off the marriage. we spent nearly 3l for engagement but they spent around 50k to 60k. now they are asking to return the money that they have spent.. is it fair to return the money?
please help..