I am a keralite working as a senior consultant in an IT company in Bangalore. I belong to a middle class family.I married a dietician in 2007 who is a Retired Colonel in Indian Army. When this proposal came to me in 2006 I tried to explain her about the difference in ‘civilian-defence’life and the background.I am a teetotaler who has never tasted alcohol in my 35 years of life and also I don’t smoke.I have told this to her right on day 1 when I first spoke to her.She said she felt very lucky to get a person like me as her hubby as her father is an alcoholic. My parents and my sister too spoke to her explaining her about our background. We also told her that our house is in front of paddy fields set up in the backdrop of a village.She said she liked living in a village as her grandmother’s ancestral home is in a village.
First year of our marriage passed by without much issues but I could feel the divide between two families due to the difference in their background.My Parents are very adjustable in nature hence they did not raise any issue as they are well aware of the fact that it could affect the harmony of my family.My son was born in 2009 April and issues started cropping up slowly between me and my wife. Major reason for the tussle is the attitude of her parents. They slowly started ignoring me and my parents after they got a grand son. She then refused to come back to Bangalore and not allowing me to meet my son.Her parents are now saying me and my parents don’t have ‘high’ status.I then filed a restitution in a family court.court had ordered her to bring my son but she did not.They then posted the case to sep for counselling and asked her to appear along with my son.She is now asking for a divorce.I have looked after my wife and son very well and have proof to substantiate the same.
My father in law is unfortunately a chronic alcoholic & has got a lot of properties /Fixed deposits in his name and he threatens my wife and her mother of handing over the same to any Orphanage or to his brother’s children if they don’t follow his instructions. Wife’s mother always reminds my wife that she is tolerating her husband just to ensure his wealth and property doesn’t fall into wrong hands. This is creating huge issues in my life as well as in my wife’s. My wife spends most of her time satisfying her father’s needs so that she continues in his good books. . My mother in law and my wife expected me to ‘show off’ love and respect towards my father in law. I am a straight forward person and he found it extremely difficult to ‘act’ in front of him but I always gave the respect he deserved through out the past last 6 years.
My mother in law is extremely possessive about my wife and my son because of this she never liked my wife and son visiting my house.My parents would have spent just about 10 days with my son in the last 4.4 years. Since they are very adjustable they did not create any issue with my wife’s parents on this. They always wanted my married life to be smooth and happy so they never tried to interfere in my life. My parents were humiliated more than once by wife’s parents during public functions still they remained silent as they know any reaction from their end would affect my peace of mind. This was misinterpreted as their weakness.Please advice me on how to approach this.