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Sonal (User)     24 April 2013

Husband not getting visa for me what to do?

I got married in India last year in Feb 2012 and after marriage my husband left for UK where he is working for past 10 years.He never touched me after marriage and he also does not talk much with me.Its been now more than a year and whenever i ask him when he will take me then he says that he cannot as its impossible.Few weeks ago my father called him to ask why he is not taking me along with him then he said he cannot do anything and if she wants then let her come by herself.

 

I also recently went to UK embassy and it is not possible to get me a Visa and they don't even accept aplication without sponsership letter.Also i was told i need to get letter from my husband and get attested marriage certificate which also i don't have.

Everyone is saying that after marriage husband and wife need to live together but when my husband is not sending me a Visa or embassy not giving me a Visa then how can i have a married life.

Now he even stopped calling me and he also does not pick his number.

Please help what can i do.



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 29 Replies

stanley (Freedom)     24 April 2013

There are a lot of travel agnecies which arrange tours to the U.K wherein you can travel over there .They do all the processing for the Visa etc but the problem is do you know where he stays over there in order to meet him . You can clear your doubts with him if he is interested in the marriage or not or else seek MCD and move on in life .

 

 

" You can tke a horse to the water but you cant make it drink"

Rama chary Rachakonda (Secunderabad/Highcourt practice watsapp no.9989324294 )     24 April 2013

The relationship between husband and wife should be one of the closest friends as per Hindu dharma Shaastram. What happened the promises during your marriage ? It is a sin if any body violate this rule of God.

1 Like

(Guest)

v r here not to give justice bt to advice. so no need to explain hw bad is ur personal intimate relation like
He never touched me after marriage and he also does not talk much with me.

since u hv explained it thn
it may make someone to think "why relations r so soured ? who is at fault ?

as per ur letter, even in this scenario u & ur family hv communication with him.
so there r chances to PATCH UP.

one side u say tht ur marriage is not regd. and hence no certificate.
and no marriage certificate thn no passport showing u married.

so no use of visa, in absence of ur [married] passport.

u may visit any country on tourist visa under ur maiden passport.

wish u best of luck in ur endeavor to patch up the matter smoothly.


(Guest)

What can you do to someone who has been 10 years in the UK?Nothing.

If you have other relatives or friends over there,you could visit with a Tourist visa but make sure you have somewhere to stay incase your husband is out of town for few days.


(Guest)

from ur letter, wht i understand is u want to live with ur hubby. nice. for not registering the marriage and not sending visa, there must b some fmly./personal dispute which u may not b wished to disclose. its ok. it is a personal matter.
else he may not hv sufficient income/fund to show for seeking the permission frm authority to bring his wife in tht country.

 Everyone is saying that after marriage husband and wife need to live together but when my husband is not sending me a Visa or embassy not giving me a Visa then how can i have a married life.
Now he even stopped calling me and he also does not pick his number.

it seems u want to patch up the matter bt cann't convey ur wish bcoz of his non-availability.

there r chances for his behaviour may be frm past experiance and not aware of present development and ur noble intention to patch up.

u & ur parent knw better how to handle thn others.

wish u best of luck in ur endeavor to patch up the matter smoothly.

Sonal (User)     24 April 2013

You all know that it is not easy to get Visa even a Tourist or Visit Visa to UK and for this they ask number of documents.In my case even for tourist visa i have to mention if i am single or married and if married then husbands address,work documents and marriage certificate.They also conduct interviews before issuing any Visa.I already contacted many travel agencies and they all said as my husband is there so i have to get sponsership letter from him and any case if they know my marriage is in trouble then they will not issue me a Visa.According to them if it is so easy then every Indian would be now making vacation in US and Europe.

 

I met him few times before marriage and every time he said he is against this marriage and when i told my family they said just get married then everything will be fine and now after marriage he is behaving same and treating me like a stranger.The reason for not registering the marriage and not getting me Visa is because he does not like me even before marriage and he says he see me as a sister but cannot see me as a wife.


(Guest)

Sonal,

Clearly your family were wrong and they have made a mess of things.What you need is Mutual Divorce but perhaps you need to ask him if he`ll give you permanent alimony in return for hassle-free divorce...Has he got any family here you can discuss things with?

Reformist !!! (Other)     24 April 2013

@sonal- Clearly ur parents are at fault here. He told u before the marriage that he does not want to marry with u, still u and ur parents forced u to enter into the marriage. You are in a mess. 

Better is to part ur ways and settle the matter amicably with his parents in India and file for MCD and start afresh.

Sonal (User)     24 April 2013

He is not ready to live with me and he is also not ready to do anything for divorce.What you mean by asking for permanent alimony for hassle-free divorce ? He only says he told me this before marriage and nothing going to change  now and i can do whatever i wish.

 

What is the purpose of discussing with family and relatives when he is a grown up man over 30 years old and he does not listen to anyone then what can i do.

 

I only want to know what should i do.

Msk-need -nuetral- laws (self)     24 April 2013

@ Sonal,

Since the fault lies on your side as well, better initiate a expartee divorce in India. Please contact and go for divorce under cruelty and get it exparteed. After 90 days , go ahead with your life 

Sonal (User)     24 April 2013

What you mean settle matter amicably with his parents in India ? His parents are not married to me and he is a grown up man and even he does not listen to his parents then what they can do.They are fully supporting me and shouting at their son but he never bothers and when he is living so far away what we can do.

 

@MSK  How can i apply for expartee divorce and what is the process ? How much fees i have to pay to the lawyer ? Is there any other option so that i can bring him here and make him talk with me.


(Guest)
Originally posted by : Sonal


What you mean settle matter amicably with his parents in India ? His parents are not married to me and he is a grown up man and even he does not listen to his parents then what they can do.They are fully supporting me and shouting at their son but he never bothers and when he is living so far away what we can do.

 

@MSK  1.  How can i apply for expartee divorce and what is the process ? How much fees i have to pay to the lawyer ?

 

2.  Is there any other option so that i can bring him here and make him talk with me.

Answer to No. 1:  You got married in Feb 2012, now its Apr 2013, as one year is already over..File for divorce on basis of desertion.  Anyway he has flew of to some foreign country, he wont come back.  You get divorce easily ie exparte orders of divorce as your husband has not replied or contested your divorce case.


If he returns or contests the case, then it will take a lot of time for you to get divorce.


Ans 2.  You cannot force anyone to cohabit.  Marriage is a very sacred thing.  If he is not willing to come back nor take you there to UK, then you must understand, he does not want you.  File for divorce, get divorce.  Move on.  Find someone else.  Be happy.  No use in waiting for this guy.

desertedhusband (na)     24 April 2013

to @ all the harrased and deserted husbands like me and all the experts also. 

folks, i dont know why but it does feel that this lady is not fully wrong at her part. I do understand that he mentioned in the beginning itself that he is not interested to marry her. But he did so anways...the question is that was he forced also. girls parents can force her but who forced him in this case, specially if he knew that he does not like her. it will be wrong on his part also to desert his wife just because he married her by force or something else and did not love her. Marriage has happened.

And I think we should acknowledge the fact here that this lady does want to go and live with him. as an Indian we have to understand that for a woman marriage has more value than what the feelings were before wed-lock. Specially, if she respects the importance of marriage in life. I am not sure what she wants now. but if she realy wants save the marriage then there is no harm to help her out instead of demotivating by saying that she can never reach her or get to India...it looks like she has not gone to police/courts etc till now. 

We can not look at all the woman with same eye just because we have suffered at the hands of our bitter-halfs...

@sonal, I dont know what to suggest you in this case, but I think if you can try to apply for a tourist visa and go there it might help. also, you can try to take help of Indian Embassy in UK if they can send you an invitation to visit UK. You can also try for schengen visa and fly to UK from there, but you will still need visa.

But I do suggest that if you want to save your marriage then do not opt for legal option till all the efforts are made from yourside. otherwise all the hopes of winning your husband's heart will be lost...

Sonal (User)     24 April 2013

Thank you for your support.

About Visa i find it really impossible and i also wrote to Indian Embassy in UK and there was no response.For a married woman to get a Visa they ask for marriage certificate and don't accept anything else and even if i somehow manage to visit UK what can i do if he is ignoring me then where will i stay ?

 

For me i don' see any future with him.I would wait for few weeks.All my family members saying i should put legal charges againt him.So what can i do and when he ignores everything then what legal charges i can file against him.When he never touched me and never treated or lived with me as husband what legal charges i can file against him ?