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Rose (tech support)     04 December 2011

Need advise

Hi, I am from Madurai and married to NRI.  Our marraige is arranged and registered in tamilnadu. Me and my husband having issues for past 4 years and i lived with him for only short duration in  that 4 years ..i would say max 9 months.  Every timewe have issues and patched bt last 8 months no contacts from him.we are trying to reach his family and him for a talk but they are not responding properly or they will say..let him(my husband) come from abroad and we will talk and now he is in india but again they are not ready for a talk.  When my family asked their what my husband is thinking...he told he is not able to take any decision..he will be travellling to abroad in few weeks bt before that i want some answer to my life...i dont have kids.  my family is ready for talk and save marriage but no one in his family opening their mouth..and if my husband goes abroad after vacation then he will come after 1 or 2 years.  We asked his whether my husband wants to live with me or wants divorce..they are not telling anything openly instead his family told that my husband is not able to take any decision now..we already passed 4 years .  pls adivse



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 8 Replies

Sanjeev (Lawyer)     04 December 2011

First you need to decise what you want out of this relationship- you want to live together or want to seperate. As you said you hardly lived together for 9 months out of total 4 years of relationship.

He would have decided not to sort this out as from his previous experience he would have seen that after patch up also it dont work for long.

Leave it the way it is.

Rose (tech support)     04 December 2011

We had problem for small issues but issue he tells everything to his parents and their interfere is more in my marital life.  I did not understand by your statement "Leave as it is".  I want to live with him and save my marriage life.  If he doesn't want me then I can ready to give divorce on mutual consent.  but he is not opening his mouth..everytime he says he is not able to take any decision now...so I donno what to think or do. 

sridhar pasumarthy (ADVOCATE)     04 December 2011

Dear Rose,

Try to resolve the issue at the intervention of elders and well-wishers.  If not possible, get a laywer's notice issued for restitution of conjugal rights.

Rose (tech support)     04 December 2011

Filing RCR will help me to save marriage?  Will my husband come back after that.  We are trying for talk with his family but he or his family is not ready.  I am ready for mutual divorce also and I dont want to be like other females to file 498 sections.  If he come bac then fine or else I can give mutual divorce without asking any maintenance and move on with my own life.   

 

Pls tell me whaat to do next since his family is not ready for talk with  my family or our mediator


(Guest)

Rose,

You have to decide...humans are not able to decide..they vacillate...the moment you think about divorce, you will think.."the marriage might have worked if I would have tried..let me give a try"....if you think about staying together..you will think" He is such a jerk...no point  wasting my life with him...."

This is not the problem with you but with entire humanity..

Looking in to the points that you have mentioned..I think that (my view),,is to do away with the marrige..since no one is replying to responding...marriage is not a one sided affair...it is very bad, and I feel sad that, How can I family do such a thing to a daughter in law...you must look into the situation with an unbiased eye...as a third persons...make a decision and stick to it...

Either you wait for some time..and see..or you file divorce...dont waste you time...

I feel if you file divorce, he will respond..if you file Restitution..he may not..he will contest..

If you file divorce, things will be clear, if he has to come back, he will come, otherwise..you are wasting your life...

Gautam

Rose (tech support)     04 December 2011

Thanks Gautam,

As you said, I will divorce.  Now i need to know what is his thought whether he wants to live with me or need divorce.  I can decide only he or his family opens his mouth.

 

My question is, if I file divorce...will he come back with his thoughts ( like staying together or divorce)?

2)  Will it stop him going abroad.  He is leaving abroad this month end

 

I want some reply from him or make him to open his mouth before he leaves abroad..once he leaves then he will not even bother me .  he will return india after 1 or 2 yrs only.. pls help


(Guest)

Once you file divorce...he has to reply to the court...he has to reply in writing under affidavit...he has to contest..

Contesting would mean..he does not want to give you divorce BUT THIS DOES NOT MEAN THAT HE WANTS TO COME AND JOIN YOU...but always remember..you cannot force anyone to stay with you and no court can..he can contest just to delay things and harass you...

You have filed for divorce, which means you want to get rid of him, let him reply whether he wants to join you or stay away from you...LET HIM OPEN HIS MOUTH IN THE COURT...

Let him go wherever he wants...if he does not reply...you will get ex-party divorce..you can wait for 3 months, which is the appeal period and then get along with your life..

Why do you need a reply from him...you do your work...

Gautam


(Guest)

Your contested divorce can be converted to Mutual divorce anytime..


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