Exclusive HOLI Discounts!
Get Courses and Combos at Upto 50% OFF!
Upgrad
LCI Learning

Share on Facebook

Share on Twitter

Share on LinkedIn

Share on Email

Share More

Sri Bobbi ABC (IT)     09 September 2019

Not happy with marriage; divorce options

Hello Sir/Madam,

I am a Male 30 years old, married in Feb 2019. It is a typical arranged marraige and I was thrown into it by my parents. I wasnt happy or confident since I met her the first time. I am a very open minded and honest person and told her everything about me a potential partner might want to know. She though has a Mtech degree on her biodata doesnt speak basic english nor is a confident person nor a communicative person who knows life. I urged her to be open but she said he needs time to open up and my family on the other side rushed things up. I live in the US and i had no idea what my parents were doing back home. I did arranged marriage only for my parents and not for anyother reason. But now i regret on my parents, wife and my whole life. I could have had beautiful women if i didnt think about my parents and their social status. Now i feel bad that they didnt do a good job with me/my life.

About Wife:

She is introvert, shy and lacks confidence. I asked her to speak in english and i did tell how important it is for me before marriage. She said she will talk to me in english but she never did and i realized that she is covering up on things (which is not correct according to me) and urged my parents to cancel the marraige but they thought it was too late and rather emotional blackmailed me to get this going. A depressed me completed the marriage with almost tears in eyes every day. Once a photographer asked her "please step outside for few minutes as i need to record something that I have to say for a video". She didnt understand a bit of what that photographer said in english. I didnt know where to put my head. Then i realized how well she played the game of taking time to open up but never admitted that she doesnt know basic grammar in english. Then i had her attend 2 english courses, as i need her to get good at it for our communication. Her teachers complained that she is very restrained and needs to work hard. She promised me that she will talk to me in english before marraige but not for once she did even after 3 months of marraige.

Though she has a Mtech degree (which was the basis for my parents to not listen to me), is not a knowledgable person in her subject nor has any interest in anything else. She lied about her intersts and all and slowly i am starting to realize what i stepped into. She only asks me if I ate etc, while I want to do fun things with my wife and want to be the ideal couple. I cannot pretend to be happy or something and i am feeling very depressed to have married her. I am starting to hate my parents/family who once I thought were my strength.

I had a bad break up (told her that i cant take her seriously as i need to get rranged for parents) with a girl i was seeing before getting married and now i regret doing all of this for this "wedding". I dont have any feelings for my wife and things are getting miserable. I treat women with respect and love and that is somthing women admire in me. But what good is it if i am not able to treat my wife atleast 50% of that love and respect. The girl i stopped seeing is still interested in me and we are back at seeing eachother now. 

I finally told my wife about my feelings and want to get seperated as my feelings towards her are going south day by day and i am getting attarcted to other women and i cant keep this marriage. She agreed for divorce and went back to India. Now her family doesnt want to give up and keeps a lot of pressure on my parents to convince me. I have been very adamant about getting a divorce as i think it wont be a healthy marriage at all and i see no point in making a family with her (which scares me to death to even think about).

What are my options in getting a divorce in this situation? Thank you for taking time in reading this. Please advise!



Learning

 4 Replies

TGK REDDI   10 September 2019

An M. Tech. can't speak English well.    No wonder.

A psychlogist can't make adjustments with their spouse.    No wonder.

You're giving so much importance to English.   Unwarranted.

I must, however, say, " Marriages are useless."

I've, during this seventy-five-year life, never seen a single successful marriage.

1 Like

Real Soul.... (LEGAL)     10 September 2019

Mr.Bobbi the way you have spread your married life on the floor is visibly a match gone wrong. I never encourage for divorce when the things could be mend in any way,but here the it is something mismath and you are ready to sacrifice your desiers/will/choice just for virtue and worship.

It is better to talk to your wife and tell her frankly everything that it is better to revoke the marraige now instaed of at alatter stage when the life would be more harsh.

Just convince her for mutaul divorce,it is better to call off the marraige now instead trying to keep it forcefully clued. 

Best is mutual divorce; However you can file for divorce but that wioll take much time and may be your wife will push you in number of other cases of DV.dowvery, harrasments etc. Just keep patience until your wife agree for mutual divorce; keep quiet for sometime till the situation is ripe 

Real Soul.... (LEGAL)     10 September 2019

TYPO ;;;;EDITED

 

Mr.Bobbi the way you have spread your married life on the floor is visibly a match gone wrong. I never encourage for divorce when the things could be mend in any way,but here the it is something mismatch  and you are not ready to sacrifice your desiers/will/choice just for virtue and worship.

It is better to talk to your wife and tell her frankly everything that it is better to revoke the marraige now instaed of at a  latter stage when the situation would be more harsh.

Just convince her for mutaul divorce,it is better to call off the marraige now instead trying to keep it forcefully glued.

  Best is mutual divorce; However you can file for divorce but that will take much time and may be your wife will push you in number of other cases of DV.dowvery, harrasments etc.

Just keep patience until your wife agree for mutual divorce; keep quiet for sometime till the situation is ripe 

 

Shashi Dhara   10 September 2019

Any how adjust with her she is not so bad as we read the paragraph.how do u think that if u marry 2nd time it success.so don't be in hurry to divorce her.not knowing English,mingling with others ,is not grounds for divorce .as her friend try to change her if not accept her as she ,if situation becomes worst then may think about divorce

Leave a reply

Your are not logged in . Please login to post replies

Click here to Login / Register